when pts ask you personal information

[habibti74]

Maybe this doesn't happen quite as much on the back of an ambulance because you don't have quite as long with your patients, but in the ER I am always asked lots of questions by my patients who may not be as sick as some of the others.

When I'm going to be in a room for awhile, starting an IV, drawing blood, hooking up fluids to a pump, giving meds, hooking my patient to the monitor, etc. I will often - probably at least 25-30% of the time get people who ask me about my religion.

I'm a Muslim girl and I wear a headscarf. They'll say "Can I ask you a personal question?" And I already know what it is before they ask. "Are you Muslim?" And then it's usually "Were you born here?" (yes) "Where are your parents from?" (outside of London) "Where is your husband from?" (I'm single) Some of the older people get excited about it "oooh! (clapping their hands) I've never met one of THOSE before!" Or some of these older guys in their 70s wearing camoflague will end up telling me as they leave (who hadn't asked me any questions) that I wasn't "at all what they were expecting"

They'll come in later and ask for "the Muslim nurse" or something. I guess I have a fanbase now. (Let me add I've gotten several really offensive comments as well but I dont care about those)

I certainly don't wear a hijab just to get asked questions - I wear it all the time. Usually I try to deflect, if they ask questions about me, I'll ask them questions back - I was born here, where did YOU grow up? How long have YOU been married? etc so it doesnt seem like I'm prosthelytizing or something I don't mind questions at all really and I guess I could see this as a good opportunity to show Islam in a positive light if I really wanted - but I'm there functioning as a nurse and it just seems odd to me that someone is there getting blood work, IVs, etc that they would want to discuss ME while they're there!

Do you get personal questions about something about yourself?

 

[Shishkabob]

Yes, it has happened. If you don't feel comfortable about answering, tell them.

People are naturally inquisitive about the odd / strange / new / non-norm.



My glasses make my eyes big. Every so often, I'll have someone I know ask if they can wear my glasses to "see what it looks like". Sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no.

 

[Sasha]

I get asked lots of stuff.

Do I go to church, how old am I, am I married, why didn't I go into a more feminine job, do I have a boyfriend/husband, if I can lift as much as my partner, etc.

People are just nosy. Dont let it bug you.

Sent from LuLu using Tapatalk

 

[Steam Engine]

Agree with the answers so far. I'm sure most are merely curious and might not possess the same brain / mouth filter as you or I. If it were me, I'd try ignoring uncomfortable questions or changing the subject at first...if they persist, nicely but firmly let them know that you don't feel it's an appropriate line of conversation.

 

[DesertMedic66]

Most common questions for me are age and where I live. For age I tell them. For where I live I say the biggest city in my county even tho I don't live there. I don't want patients knowing what city I live in (alot of 5150 patients).

My old name tag had my first and last name on it. A 5150 patient I transported tried to add me as a friend on Facebook. The next day I requested a name tag with just my first letter of my last name.

 

[firetender]

You're also one who stands out in the crowd. People are curious about what is unusual. The first thing that presents itself is appearance and your choice of clothing makes you -- for want of a better word -- a target.

Add to that the whole Muslim thing in today's politics and that makes me see it as a positive because people are actually choosing to engage you and perhaps challenge themslves. I'd even go so far as saying it would often be a desire to learn on their part and an opportunity for you to teach as well.

But each of us stands out in some way to someone, so personal questions are not all that unusual. Remember also that people want to feel they are being "cared for" by human beings, so, of course, many of our patients want to make us "real" and- in the back of an ambulance for the time it takes to get to the hospital, for example -- we're a captive audience!

 

[Handsome Robb]

Usually about my age, where I'm from, do I like my job, where did you go to HS, how much do I get paid. Depending on the patient and how comfortable I am I will usually answer without exposing myself or my family. For example when asked about my HS I tell them a local HS or where I'm from I tell them 'the lake'. The less comfortable I am the more I deflect the question or answer with very generalized answers or don't answer at all and turn it back around on them to get info for my chart. I've found they are much more willing to give me personal information used for charting/billing when they trust you which can be helped by showing them you have some trust in them as well. It's situation dependent for sure though.

 

[exodus]

I'll be honest for the most part depending on the patient and their socio-economic history. Otherwise I will given an answer that's a lie. The only thing I wouldn't lie about is my classification or name.

 

[abckidsmom]

I have 5 young children. People ask me about my sex life ("don't you know what causes that?"), about whether I am capable of parenting ("you sure do have your hands full!"), and about my religion ("are you mormon or catholic?").

They are just making conversation. Smile and nod, think k mildly unpleasant things about them.

 

[medicdan]

You're also one who stands out in the crowd. People are curious about what is unusual. The first thing that presents itself is appearance and your choice of clothing makes you -- for want of a better word -- a target.

Add to that the whole Muslim thing in today's politics and that makes me see it as a positive because people are actually choosing to engage you and perhaps challenge themslves. I'd even go so far as saying it would often be a desire to learn on their part and an opportunity for you to teach as well.

But each of us stands out in some way to someone, so personal questions are not all that unusual. Remember also that people want to feel they are being "cared for" by human beings, so, of course, many of our patients want to make us "real" and- in the back of an ambulance for the time it takes to get to the hospital, for example -- we're a captive audience!

Agreed. The general public is not well educated about religious minorities-- and cannot tell the difference or struggles to reconcile the "Islamic extremist" they see on TV and in our fighting in the Middle East with the otherwise unremarkable nurse in front of them wearing a headscarf. If you feel like it, turn it into an educational experience-- if not, you don't need to say or do anything. The personal questions are your patient's curiosity about what they perceive to be a foreign culture and religion and my guess is rarely malicious.

I am Jewish, and over the past few months have been wearing my Kippah at work increasingly. I have complex religious reasons, but feel it is important. The first few weeks, I couldn't get much further than dispatch without being inundated by coworkers asking questions. The next week I found myself being asked by all my patients. Only after a month or so did the questions die down.

I don't mind speaking about my religion and heritage, but also don't let the discussions get in the way of work. I ignore the comments that are disparaging and move on. OP, I encourage you to come up with a canned statement, and move on. You shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed to express your religious practices.

 

[Nervegas]

I usually only get asked about my age (23) and how I got into the profession and if I enjoy it or not, and why my patch has gold shiny threads in it.

 

[Handsome Robb]

and why my patch has gold shiny threads in it.

Do you tell them it's because your awesome? haha

 

[habibti74]

I don't mind speaking about my religion and heritage, but also don't let the discussions get in the way of work. I ignore the comments that are disparaging and move on. OP, I encourage you to come up with a canned statement, and move on. You shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed to express your religious practices.

I guess I dont feel embarrassed or ashamed - I love talking about my religion, and you're right people often are surprised to learn about how peaceful Islam is, etc. But I think that I'm worried what they'll say or something. I wouldn't go into a store and engage the shopkeeper in a discussion about their religion - likewise I am worried sometimes that they are asking because they're uncomfortable or something and I just want them to realize that I'm really just like everyone else is. Sometimes if we have a really religious patient or one who is dying and wants to know "if everyone here believes in Jesus" or something its often quiet for a moment and one of the doctors usually says "I think we all believe in the same God here"

I'm not uncomfortable per se with discussing it and I sometimes think it's odd that someone is there with I don't know, chest pain or something and they want to talk to me about religion.

 

[medicdan]

I guess I dont feel embarrassed or ashamed - I love talking about my religion, and you're right people often are surprised to learn about how peaceful Islam is, etc. But I think that I'm worried what they'll say or something. I wouldn't go into a store and engage the shopkeeper in a discussion about their religion - likewise I am worried sometimes that they are asking because they're uncomfortable or something and I just want them to realize that I'm really just like everyone else is. Sometimes if we have a really religious patient or one who is dying and wants to know "if everyone here believes in Jesus" or something its often quiet for a moment and one of the doctors usually says "I think we all believe in the same God here"

I'm not uncomfortable per se with discussing it and I sometimes think it's odd that someone is there with I don't know, chest pain or something and they want to talk to me about religion.

I hear that. I've found that some patients who are chronically sick or with minor ailments actually focus on everything other than themselves-- the patients are either trying to distract themselves from their symptoms or develop a rapport with caretakers.

If you've gotten the history or information that you need why not calm the patient by talking while you poke or connect to the monitor?

 

[Tigger]

I get the age thing a lot (I'm 20), and if I am from the city or not. Sometimes I say yes, other times I just make up a town. I live in a suburn with a reputation for old money, and despite not having that connection, it's easier to just avoid the judgements. As long as they don't ask about where I live, I'll usually answer honestly, and I really do enjoy talking to patients so I don't mind their curiosity most of the time. I will ignore them though if I am behind on paperwork or what have you.

 

[Seaglass]

I get asked about everything. My age, my family, my religion, my physical ability... nothing seems to be off limits. If they're creeping, I gently tell the patient that it's not very professional of me to discuss things like that, and move on. Most of the time, though, I'll answer. Most of them are just asking because they're honestly curious, or because they feel vulnerable. If it helps them to hear something personal from me, I've usually got no problem sharing.

 

[EMSrush]

My glasses make my eyes big. Every so often, I'll have someone I know ask if they can wear my glasses to "see what it looks like". Sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no.

OMG that's hysterical! LOL! I don't know what's funnier; the request, or you obliging them.

 

[Fish]

Maybe this doesn't happen quite as much on the back of an ambulance because you don't have quite as long with your patients, but in the ER I am always asked lots of questions by my patients who may not be as sick as some of the others.

When I'm going to be in a room for awhile, starting an IV, drawing blood, hooking up fluids to a pump, giving meds, hooking my patient to the monitor, etc. I will often - probably at least 25-30% of the time get people who ask me about my religion.

I'm a Muslim girl and I wear a headscarf. They'll say "Can I ask you a personal question?" And I already know what it is before they ask. "Are you Muslim?" And then it's usually "Were you born here?" (yes) "Where are your parents from?" (outside of London) "Where is your husband from?" (I'm single) Some of the older people get excited about it "oooh! (clapping their hands) I've never met one of THOSE before!" Or some of these older guys in their 70s wearing camoflague will end up telling me as they leave (who hadn't asked me any questions) that I wasn't "at all what they were expecting"

They'll come in later and ask for "the Muslim nurse" or something. I guess I have a fanbase now. (Let me add I've gotten several really offensive comments as well but I dont care about those)

I certainly don't wear a hijab just to get asked questions - I wear it all the time. Usually I try to deflect, if they ask questions about me, I'll ask them questions back - I was born here, where did YOU grow up? How long have YOU been married? etc so it doesnt seem like I'm prosthelytizing or something I don't mind questions at all really and I guess I could see this as a good opportunity to show Islam in a positive light if I really wanted - but I'm there functioning as a nurse and it just seems odd to me that someone is there getting blood work, IVs, etc that they would want to discuss ME while they're there!

Do you get personal questions about something about yourself?

Yes, I just answer the question. They want to know hold old I am, if I am married, if I am a Christian. What part of town I live in, etc...

 

[Nerd13]

I get asked my age and where I live all the time. If there is no perceived danger on my part I'll usually tell people the city I live in. I live and work in a very small community so they'll run into me eventually anyway. I'm young and a female so people are frequently curious how I ended up in the profession. I'm also short and smaller so I get questioned on whether I can lift people all the time. For that one I just lift them instead of answering haha. People are naturally curious. I ask them where they're from (if I didn't pick them up there) it would only be normal for them to ask me as well.

 

[mycrofft]

What a great thread.

One sign of how much personal info I would reveal is that I do not use my real name here, although I do share much other info.

I did work with inmates; you work with inmates also, except either they are out of jail, or about to go in. While most inmates are actually as basically ok as most of us (in for something like speeding, drunk driving, failure to pay child support, etc....not good things, but the person is basically lazy or angry at something, not dangerous), there is a percentage of them, and especially when in a pinch (in jail, out of money, needing drugs) who are very manipulative.

Basically, I made it a practice not to reveal anything about my family, or my neighborhood, my car, my finances, my access to drugs or other things they might need or want. The encounter with them is about them, not me. I did share personal observations, but nothing confidential. Often, I would reflect the question back as a question, which showed I was interested and also got me more history/pt info. If someone keeps digging despite these things, they definitely need NOT to know them, as a rule.

As a CPR instructor and member here, I share some of my health history because it is illustrative and authoritative.

As a male nurse, you can imagine how many people thought I was gay.