Usually either one of these two general formats:
"St. Nowhere this is XYZ Ambulance en route to shovel more bull**** through your doors."
"Oh God!! There's so much
blood!!" *gunfire*sirens*screaming*silence*
OK actually where I work, the radio reporting is a nightmarish process. We have actual radio systems (which almost no one uses) and we have cell phones (which everyone else uses) to call the hospital so there's really not much of a "patch-in" element to it.
With LA County being the Mother-May-I? system that it is, the hospitals generally want to know
everything about the patient - sometimes I wonder if I'm going to get questions about the patient's shoe size, whether he/she is right or left handed, results of most current report card, etc. Essentially our radio reports are equivalent to the bedside report...which is incredibly redundant.
Part of the problem, though, is the fact that we have things here called "base hospitals" and every ALS unit in the county is assigned to one of them. So, regardless of where you're geographically located (although the assignments do tend to be based of geography), whoever your assigned base is, that's who you call (unless you've got a trauma patient, in that case you call the trauma center you're going to). You, therefore, may or may not be transporting to your base hospital; and, when you don't the base then calls the receiving facility and gives them the report you just gave the base...kind of dizzying. The major reason for it, however, is the paramedics here tend to be of poor quality, and if the MICN (in California, paramedics talk to nurses for radio reports and medical direction, not physicians) didn't question every last detail of patient care then there's a good chance most of that crap wouldn't get done. Also, you have to really paint a thorough picture of your situation if you want to get cleared for the med orders you want/need because, again, the MICNs like to keep the medics here on a short leash.
Anyway, our report format goes something like this:
Unit ID
Sequence Number (on the PCR)
Age, Sex, Weight (include Broselow tape measurement for kids)
Chief Complaint
Level of Distress (none, mild, moderate, severe)
GCS (for every patient...:glare
LOC (which is somehow different from GCS to LA hospitals - LA is still hung up on the whole "AOx3" thing though, and if you have someone who's AOx2 I guess they feel knowing whether the pt is disoriented to name, place, or time is somehow significant)
Assessment Findings (detail!)
Vital Signs (BP, P, RR, SpO2%, Pain level, Skins, Pupils, Breath Sounds, ECG)
Field Treatments (you have to
say "02 at 15 lpm non-rebreather" can't just say "on 02" for example)
Patient Response to Field Treatments
Request(s) for Additional Orders if necessary
Transport Decision
ETA
Clear.
That whole mess is complicated by the fact that 911 EMS is handled by fire departments here, so they're typically the only ones calling in. Meanwhile, there are many private ambulance companies who do ALS IFTs (like where I work), who almost never need to call unless something terrible happened en route. It seems like most MICNs have no idea how the ALS IFT thing works either (and to be fair, I still don't really know how it works) so every time I have to call in I have to explain myself as to why I can't just get standing orders from the sending doc, who the hell I even am, why I'm calling
them in particular, etc. It's really just a nightmare.