the 100% directionless thread

DragonClaw

Emergency Medical Texan
1,815
300
83
This job has me wanting to chew off my leg to get out of the trap they've set.

They prey on the desperate and naive or burned out workers in their organ grinder.

I want to hit my head against the wall.

I never thought they'd be so bad. And I'm sure they're not the worst.

Like my stress just...

Like

****.

I can't 🤣

I almost quit half a dozen times.

I'm trying to be fiscally responsible and avoid quitting with no job. Having no job makes it harder to get a new one.
 

DragonClaw

Emergency Medical Texan
1,815
300
83
Eh, you're a grownup and can make your own mistakes, but after the job experiences I've had I wouldn't stay there a second longer than necessary. Two weeks notice at the most.

Every time I think I'm grown up, there's tough choices that need to be made that get murkier as time goes on.

I wanted to give my 2 weeks notice to them once I'm ready, but now I just want to do one transport during the shift, go to the station, and then get in my car and go home.
 

Seirende

Washed Up Paramedic/ Brand New EMT Student
766
361
63
I am really starting to feel used at one of my services.

When I signed on, it was to be on call every fourth day, 12 hours on weekdays and 24 on Saturdays and Sundays. I was at the time also working at a grocery store in town, so I could be at work and on call at the same time.

After a while, this one rather incompetent person had to leave after his training permit ran out; my supervisor asked me to take 8 hours each Monday and Tuesday morning. Sometime in there I quit grocery and started caregiving one day per week out of town, of which I would skip every fourth week so that I could be at this volly service. I also joined another service where I set my own schedule.

About a month ago, another trainee who was filling out a crew had her training permit out. At this point, my supervisor informs me that she, myself, and my younger sister are the only people who are in town during the day, so either myself or my sister will need to be on call 6a-6p Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday IN ADDITION to the hours that I'm already covering. This was only supposed to be for a few weeks. At the time, I thought that that was an unreasonable schedule, but I agreed to do it for a few weeks.

Here's the kicker. The person that they were planning have take an accelerated course and fill out a crew after those few weeks ended up signing up for the regular length course, starting in August. A few weeks turned into months. I told my supervisor that I was fine taking a lot of days, but I didn't want to do nights and weekends any more. After some time with her just plain not getting back to me, I followed up and was told that she didn't "have another EMT to put in that spot." Total BS. The other volunteers have day jobs, they could fill those night and weekend hours easily.

I'm just flabbergasted that she didn't even think to ask me if I was willing to extend my original commitment. Then when I straight up told her that it was too much and politely requested to be taken off the nights/weekend schedule, she didn't even respond until I asked again after over a week and then it was a refusal. I'm mad now. I'm scheduled for 86 hours on call this week. I cannot be home during that time, because I stay in town while I'm on call. My supervisor know this. I haven't been able to schedule hours at the other service and I've significantly rearranged my life in other ways. I would have cheerfully done that for a few weeks to help the service and because I'll need to use this supervisor as a reference.

However, the casual assumption that I would be fine putting an EMS service above everything else in my life has really ticked me off. This isn't even a great service. I run with the supervisor mostly and she honestly doesn't know medicine that well. I have been chewed out for bringing things up on calls that I saw were being overlooked. And by "bringing up," I mean the "hey, maybe you want to consider such and such" line which I've always been told is completely appropriate between professionals. The straw that broke my respect for this service was when the sup snapped at me for flipping through the lead views on the cardiac monitor. She directly told me not to touch the monitor because I was going to screw things up. I'm not an idiot, I understand how to work the most basic monitor functions without breaking anything.

Also, I just got my quarterly check.. for 500 dollars.

Yeah, I just want to walk away at this point. Instead, I'm going to email her and give a two week notice after which I will not do nights or weekends and if that's a problem, she'll have to find someone else. Then I'll stick it out until I find better employment, get the heck out of Dodge, and strongly advise my younger sister to do this same. This is not how EMS is supposed to be.


This was me four and a half years ago. I should have quit then. I stayed until the **** really hit the fan, which was a learning experience
 

Seirende

Washed Up Paramedic/ Brand New EMT Student
766
361
63
Sleep study consultation and cardiology referral initial appointment are both tomorrow.
 

Jim37F

Forum Deputy Chief
3,714
2,251
113
Uber is def good for working part time around our crazy hours... but yeah, from my experiences, is NOT a job I wanna do full time...

My thoughts on reading about your workplace, let me just say McDonalds is pretty much always hiring, probably doesn't pay any particularly worse, and should be less soul crushing while you wait on those other applications...
 

Akulahawk

EMT-P/ED RN
Community Leader
4,637
1,039
113
Your orders are to work off the clock for you? Is that correct?
You're not getting a reply because they know that if they say yes, they are going to be in quite a bit of reportable trouble.
 

DragonClaw

Emergency Medical Texan
1,815
300
83
You're not getting a reply because they know that if they say yes, they are going to be in quite a bit of reportable trouble.

Actually, he replied this

"
Me,

Per CEO you can fix your reports on your time or we can go the official route. Per DSHS you have 24 hours after the call is completed (not the end of shift) to have the report done. It would just be easier for you to fix them and avoid this going further. I understand that you get backed up while on shift and we will pay you the overtime to complete them prior to leaving shift as stated in handbook. Any further questions please get with me."
 

DragonClaw

Emergency Medical Texan
1,815
300
83
I'm going to send them a bill for what I do off the clock.

Labor laws are clear. Even if I work off the clock, they have to pay me for it. And I've got an email for the CEO and QI, and supervisors threatening me and refusing to let me clock in to do it.

This is ridiculous.
 

DragonClaw

Emergency Medical Texan
1,815
300
83
That's it.

After I finish these reports, I'm quitting.

And I'm reporting them to DSHS and the state labor bureau.

I'll work somewhere else. I just can't risk my patch.

I could grind through it if not for these threats, but, I can't keep going.
 

DragonClaw

Emergency Medical Texan
1,815
300
83
Gonna get the QI guy on the phone and go over all the PCRs till he says I'm good and golden and then they can't report me later for faulty reports.

Then I'm just done

I'm so furious I want to radio in my resignation. But that is probably against FCC or something.

"This is (my name) on medic (whatever). Put us out of service for single crew member resignation effective immediately."

I've never wanted to give a company the finger in such a way before.
 

DragonClaw

Emergency Medical Texan
1,815
300
83
I need to take a breath and chill though.

What does calm me do?

I would write my full resignation and email it and leave a few copies around so they can't say they didn't see it.

And just don't make a mess out of it to screw me later.

Keep it cool. Keep it professional.

Just... breathe.
 

DragonClaw

Emergency Medical Texan
1,815
300
83
138720865_6692790104071853_4131987179364001967_o.jpg
 

DragonClaw

Emergency Medical Texan
1,815
300
83
But in reality I'm left wondering if I even have a leg to stand on.

Am I even a good enough EMT to make demands?

Have I been studious and attentive enough to be worthy of my patch?

Have I made a good impression and taken care of my patients?

Have I made transfer easy on the family members hoping their loved one will be taken care of?

For those without family, did I treat them how I would like to be treated?

Did I make a professional appearance in dress and demeanor before the public and when working with private facilities and hospitals or other organizations?

Was I the partner I wanted to have?

Why do I doubt so much?

Does this mean I haven't worked hard enough to be sure and that I've failed?

I just go round and round wondering if I've been any kind of good enough for this patch and uniform, regardless of the workplace standards.
 

DragonClaw

Emergency Medical Texan
1,815
300
83
What if I am just a full of **** EMT who has a know it all attitude without the experience to back myself up?

What if I was everything the doubters said I'd be, or worse?

What if I'd have helped more people just by staying away than trying so hard just to feel like I'm failing all the time.

If I doubt myself as a provider, does that mean I never really deserved the job to begin with?
 

DragonClaw

Emergency Medical Texan
1,815
300
83
Times like these I feel like my existence wastes air and I don't know what to do about it.

You do your best, but at the end of the day, I don't like what I see in the mirror.

I just feel like I'm drowning.

And I keep thinking anything I've asked here has been stupid and wasting time of providers that actually are worth their salt.

I like of just want to disappear from everything, if I could.

After tomorrow, I'm not going to feel very EMTish without a job.

I'll check in on my applications, but... I'm not sure what I'm expecting. A beating until morale improves, perhaps.

I don't know what to do or what to say other than what's already been said or suggested.

I'm going to get some sleep and hope my jaws feel better in the morning.

Thank you so for your input, even when maybe I didn't deserve it.

Goodnight.
 

StCEMT

Forum Deputy Chief
2,803
1,531
113
Let the day when your resignation officially starts be the day you learn how to separate you from being an EMT. Being a Paramedic is what I do, its not who I am. I genuinely enjoy my work for many reasons. But at the end of the day, its simply how I prefer to pay my bills, put food on my plate, and buy myself dumb **** from time to time. Its not my defining trait/feature/quality.

You have the right goals of being smart, educated, compassionate, and competent. Keep those, because we need that. But from my limited knowledge, you also overthink the hell out of this job and let it define you. Don't stop questioning yourself in a healthy manner. Learning from how you did (or didn't) do things is good and how you grow as a provider, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

Your employer isn't helping. Its a lot of unnecessary stress as you've learned and I do think you're making the right call for yourself. But you also gotta learn how to get out of your own way or this won't be a sustainable career for you. Your last post is the prime example of why I say that.

Take some time away from the stress.

Focus on school while you make a new plan (not that you don't ever, but if you asked as many questions in class as you question yourself here, you'd be the smartest one in the room).

Get the hell out of your own way.

Start fresh and apply the things you've learned.

You'll do fine if you put the work in, but you can't be successful if you beat yourself. Thats all I got for ya.
 

Akulahawk

EMT-P/ED RN
Community Leader
4,637
1,039
113
So....been a REALLY long time since I've been on here. I see there are still some "long timers". How y'all doin'?

In other news...got my first vaccine today....
Some of us long-time folks are still kicking... and some of us have gotten our 1st doses too. I'm due for my next one about 10-ish days from now.
 

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