Should I continue, or just throw in the towel?

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CentBasinEMT

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Hi all. New to this forum. I recently landed a job as an EMT, and I've been working for a little while now. However, I landed this job before I had resolved an issue that I have: Alcoholism.

I told myself "Hey, you're just a partier. Do it on your time off. You'll be fine." Well, I wasn't fine. When I'm drinking, it isn't uncommon for me to black out, vomit/urinate on myself, pick fights, and meet officers of the law. So one night after my work week, I started putting it down, and I don't remember much after that. Long story short I was almost arrested and got kicked out of where I was living. I went to my boss and told her flat out that I'm an alcoholic and that I need help. I told her I was going home for rehab. She said to call her when I'm out and if there's an open position we'll talk about rehire. Bless her heart.

On top of that, she gave me my report. They said that while they were seeing improvement, she was concerned about my ability to focus under stress. She said that I have a hard time thinking on my feet, if you will.

So my question is, should I just give it up, or should I continue? I know that a lot of you don't think degenerates like me have any place beside you, and that's fine. Just give me an honest answer. If not, I'm enrolling in an accounting program and counting beans. Or maybe medical assistant. Whatever. Sobriety first though.
 
Instead of throwing in the towel as an EMT, why not make an honest attempt at fixing the alcoholism. Quitting EMT isn't going to stop you from having problems in whatever other career you choose. I don't know where you live, but there are a ton of resources out there. While I would never work with somebody who was showing up drunk or letting it affect his work, I would gladly work with, and have tremendous respect for, somebody who fought alcoholism and won.
 
Thanks for the input. Yea I'm sure my alcoholism will negatively affect whatever else I decide to do. I start inpatient treatment tomorrow or the next day. It truly is pathetic the way I drink. Regardless of what I decide to do, I think it's important that I do it without alcohol.

The other thing that concerned me was my difficulty thinking on my feet. I suppose you could say I'm more of a reflective thinker. I was hoping it would come with time, as I realize that not every brand new EMT is good at it off the bat either.
 
I hope treatment goes well for you. My dad was an alcoholic and he was able to be sober for years but it took a lot of hard work and the right motivation. Just never give up even if you relapse. I'm glad you have recognized a problem and are strong enough to try to fix it. Were here if you ever need to vent.
 
FireWA1 said:
I hope treatment goes well for you. My dad was an alcoholic and he was able to be sober for years but it took a lot of hard work and the right motivation. Just never give up even if you relapse. I'm glad you have recognized a problem and are strong enough to try to fix it. Were here if you ever need to vent.
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Thank you. I just don't know if the stress of EMS would be healthy for sobriety. EMS really changes the way one looks at the world, doesn't it? I can't for sure say for better or worse, but even in the short time I worked my worldview has changed.
 
CentBasinEMT said:
Thank you. I just don't know if the stress of EMS would be healthy for sobriety. EMS really changes the way one looks at the world, doesn't it? I can't for sure say for better or worse, but even in the short time I worked my worldview has changed.
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I guess you'd need to decide if EMS helped trigger your drinking. I'm no expert, but as part of your rehab, wouldn't you want to remove yourself from whatever environment was encouraging/enabling you to drink?

On the other hand, I suspect your history would help you relate better to some of the people you treat. There's a range of unproductive responses I think most of us have seen from EMS and PD to suspected substance abusers -- from indifference to brutality. Maybe you can be one of the caregivers who can find the right balance and actually help some of those patients.
 
Focus on sobriety first. Once that is well on-track, then weigh out your long-term career options again. I would still consider EMS, but it sounds like you may need to find a way to have a good handle on stress.
 
rails said:
Focus on sobriety first. Once that is well on-track, then weigh out your long-term career options again. I would still consider EMS, but it sounds like you may need to find a way to have a good handle on stress.
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Absolutely work on your sobriety first. Once your on the other side, or working towards it, you'll be surprised to see how much the booze was affecting your life in ways you may not even realize.

I think many of us in EMS deal with substance abuse problems, and it's important that you put your own health first. I had my own struggles in the past, and I am grateful for every day that I keep making the right choices.
 
CentBasinEMT said:
Thank you. I just don't know if the stress of EMS would be healthy for sobriety. EMS really changes the way one looks at the world, doesn't it? I can't for sure say for better or worse, but even in the short time I worked my worldview has changed.
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No EMS will ruin you if you already have addiction/alcoholism. Trust me.
 
Yup blanket statements definitely apply here.

Feeling that you have a purpose can also make significant runs towards treating yourself.
 
emschick1985 said:
No EMS will ruin you if you already have addiction/alcoholism. Trust me.
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That's absolutely a false statement. There are plenty of people who work in EMS or Fire or Police that had substance abuse problems and are great at their job. It's all about finding healthy ways to deal with the stresses of the job.
 
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