My favorite helpful bystander story is about a frequent flier. We've run a number of assault, drug ODs, trauma calls on this guy for many years. We get toned out to 'unconscious male/head injury'. We find the guy passed out in his own vomit on the living room floor. The whole family is there, camped out in chairs around the living room, watching. The guy is alert to pain only. No visible sign of trauma anywhere. I ask the family what happened and get the litany of "He's a good boy. He's been sober for the past 3 weeks, going to meetings, he's not drinking!" Again, I ask, so what happened tonight? I get a long story about how yesterday he fell down outside and they took him to the ER, the ER assumed that he was just drunk and sent him home with what was obviously an undiagnosed head injury from yesterday's fall, because look at him... and he was staggering and having some other cognitive issues related to that 'serious undiagnosed head injury' from his ground level fall the day before. Guy's vitals are all wnl. No sign of trauma anywhere. But the family is very insistant that he go in to get his 'head injury' treated.
By now the guy is waking up a bit. His sister, who has been telling us how clean and sober her brother is, steps over to the pt and says to us... "It's Okay, I've had first aid training at work! I know what to do" and grabs him by the shirt front. Lifts him up with one hand and round house slaps him across the face twice! His head goes flying with each slap. I yelled "Stop That!!!" and said... "I don't know where you learned that as a skill for dealing with a potential head/c-spine injury, but I am documenting what you did in my report in case it just turned him into a quadraplegic." She started crying and saying we didn't care, we were just like the ER, we were treating him like he was drunk instead of injured... yadayada... turns out the guy had a Blood Alcohol about 4 times the legal limit and a body full of all kinds of recreational chemicals. Oh yeah.. and no trauma.