Report Instructor?

[bstone]

Yeah good luck getting another job somewhere else....

If she experiences sexual harassment then should wouldn't want to get another job. Simple as that.

 

[bstone]

If it happens just once, and you don't ask them to stop, you really don't have a leg to stand on as it could be seen more as an off-color joke than actual harassment.

Wait, are you saying that if she doesn't complain about it at the initial incident then she doesn't have any standing to complain if it happens in the future?

ABSOLUTELY WRONG

If I shrugged off one incident of someone calling me a "fu***** Jew" are you saying that I don't have standing to ask them to stop or report them if they continue to call me a "fu***** Jew"?

 

[bstone]

I'm with you on this. I would just buckle down, finish the class and move on. Its not like this guy is hitting on you or making advances. Didn't you say this happened like two weeks ago? Sorta a long time to go by without doing anything, then just deciding weeks later to file a complaint. I feel for both you and the Instructor In this situation, so I don't want to sound unsympathetic, but he likely just felt comfortable around you enough to joke around.

So there is a statute of limitations of two weeks for filing reports of sexual harassment? Really?

 

[Shishkabob]

If I shrugged off one incident of someone calling me a "fu***** Jew" are you saying that I don't have standing to ask them to stop or report them if they continue to call me a "fu***** Jew"?

If someone calls you a "***** jew" a single time, but it didn't effect you getting a job /promotion/ what ever, you would be laughed at by police and lawyers for pursuing it as a hate crime.



Welcome to America, where we have freedom of speech so long as it doesn't impede someone elses rights. I can go out tomorrow and tell every woman I see that she has nice breast and not a damn thing can legally be done to me.

Distasteful? Sure. Legal? You betcha.

 

[medic417]

Part of the problem we have as a society today is at first offense we seek to sue or press charges rather than doing the right thing which is discuss the problem first. If after discussing the problem it continues then go after them.

 

[bstone]

If someone calls you a "***** jew" a single time, but it didn't effect you getting a job /promotion/ what ever, you would be laughed at by police and lawyers for pursuing it as a hate crime.



Welcome to America, where we have freedom of speech so long as it doesn't impede someone elses rights. I can go out tomorrow and tell every woman I see that she has nice breast and not a damn thing can legally be done to me.

Distasteful? Sure. Legal? You betcha.

Linuss, you do realize that it is illegal to harass someone in the workplace. Ever. Calling me a "fu***** Jew. Distasteful? Sure. Legal? No way.

 

[bstone]

Part of the problem we have as a society today is at first offense we seek to sue or press charges rather than doing the right thing which is discuss the problem first. If after discussing the problem it continues then go after them.

Medic, is it possible that there exist situations in which the "right thing" of approaching the person to talk about the problem would not be right?

I am asking rhetorically, as the answer is "absolutely, yes".

You don't go to the guy who mugged you with a gun and "talk to him" about it. Nor the guy goes up to the Marines at a funeral and said "thank god for dead soliders! god hates you!" These people are not to be reasoned with.

The same goes for those who have no problem sexually harassing someone in front of a large group of people.

 

[medic417]

Medic, is it possible that there exist situations in which the "right thing" of approaching the person to talk about the problem would not be right?

I am asking rhetorically, as the answer is "absolutely, yes".

You don't go to the guy who mugged you with a gun and "talk to him" about it. Nor the guy goes up to the Marines at a funeral and said "thank god for dead soliders! god hates you!" These people are not to be reasoned with.

The same goes for those who have no problem sexually harassing someone in front of a large group of people.

There is a big difference in being physically attacked and verbal commits. If more people would discuss their problems with statements made many a problem would be solved. Yes there are jerks that will not listen but it will help any future legal action if you show you attempted to resolve the issue with the individual.

Not to be rude remember there are two sides to every issue. Perhaps the OP misunderstood the statements made? To immediately jump to suing is BS. In fact if after the first step which is talking to the instructor it continues the next step is still not suing it is talking to the school administration. Then if it still continues it would be reasonable to pursue legal action.

 

[bstone]

There is a big difference in being physically attacked and verbal commits. If more people would discuss their problems with statements made many a problem would be solved. Yes there are jerks that will not listen but it will help any future legal action if you show you attempted to resolve the issue with the individual.

Not to be rude remember there are two sides to every issue. Perhaps the OP misunderstood the statements made? To immediately jump to suing is BS. In fact if after the first step which is talking to the instructor it continues the next step is still not suing it is talking to the school administration. Then if it still continues it would be reasonable to pursue legal action.

I am not saying she needs to sue, but she's in a position now where she needs to make sure her rights are invoked and she is fully protected from retaliation and additional harassment if she does complain. A lawyer will be able to advise her of those rights and help her navigate the complaint process. She needs an advocate.

 

[Symbolic]

So there is a statute of limitations of two weeks for filing reports of sexual harassment? Really?

No, I think I didn't make myself quite clear. What I was trying to say is: She was offended two weeks ago and now she is just getting around to wanting to file a complaint. To me, filing a complaint at this point would be more of an attempt to stick It to the Instructor. If someone offended me In a threatening manner, I would have filled a report immediately. If someone harassed me two weeks ago, I would have had plenty of time to over analyze the situation and fuel the fire with my own means of retribution.

Of course we all have our own opinions. Fortunately enough I am not a woman and I was raised to confront a problem head on. There are more serious things to worry about then some guy's attempt to compliment you on your endowment..Just Imagine if he said you were ugly. Whole other ball game.

 

[bstone]

No, I think I didn't make myself quite clear. What I was trying to say is: She was offended two weeks ago and now she is just getting around to wanting to file a complaint. To me, filing a complaint at this point would be more of an attempt to stick It to the Instructor. If someone offended me In a threatening manner, I would have filled a report immediately. If someone harassed me two weeks ago, I would have had plenty of time to over analyze the situation and fuel the fire with my own means of retribution.

Of course we all have our own opinions. Fortunately enough I am not a woman and I was raised to confront a problem head on. There are more serious things to worry about then some guy's attempt to compliment you on your endowment..Just Imagine if he said you were ugly. Whole other ball game.

I guess I fundamentally disagree with you assessment. A complain of sexual harassment is valid whenever it is filed. Be is a day or a year. A woman being sexually harassed might not be emotionally able to file a complain until months later. This sort of thing can be very disabling, thus the complaints are accepted whenever.

 

[medic417]

I am not saying she needs to sue, but she's in a position now where she needs to make sure her rights are invoked and she is fully protected from retaliation and additional harassment if she does complain. A lawyer will be able to advise her of those rights and help her navigate the complaint process. She needs an advocate.

I disagree. It is best she discuss this with the instructor. Take a witness with her if she feels more comfortable but getting a lawyer involved escalates it immediately.

People are imperfect and make mistakes. Especially verbally mistakes are made all the time and the ones making the comment never realize what they said was wrong w/o someone pointing it out. If she shows up with a lawyer the school will fire the instructor to protect themselves from legal action. If this was a one time slip a good person has been punished when they should have just been educated about the mistake. Look at the TV how many actors, politicians, even so called religious leaders get in trouble for one statement and all the good they may have done is forgotten. It is time we start treating people how we would like to be treated and that should move us to try and educate a person of how their words hurt us so they can avoid the mistake again.

 

[bstone]

I disagree. It is best she discuss this with the instructor. Take a witness with her if she feels more comfortable but getting a lawyer involved escalates it immediately.

So she could go to the man who just sexually harassed her and traumatized her and "talk about it"? No, man, no! Which part of "zero tolerance" is being lost here?

 

[Symbolic]

I guess I fundamentally disagree with you assessment. A complain of sexual harassment is valid whenever it is filed. Be is a day or a year. A woman being sexually harassed might not be emotionally able to file a complain until months later. This sort of thing can be very disabling, thus the complaints are accepted whenever.

Agree to disagree. I don't mean to come of as blunt or overly opinionated either. I just think It has become way to easy to become offended these days. If someone looks at you wrong, or you interpret casual dialog that was never intended to be threatening as a threat, then you can just waltz right over to HR and vent your little heart out.

 

[bstone]

Agree to disagree. I don't mean to come of as blunt or overly opinionated either. I just think It has become way to easy to become offended these days. If someone looks at you wrong, or you interpret casual dialog that was never intended to be threatening as a threat, then you can just waltz right over to HR and vent your little heart out.

You are trying to downplay it, Symbolic, by saying "looks at you wrong" or "casual dialog". You're grouping it with an innocent mistake or interpretation error. That is not what happened here. The OP was sexually harassed, black and white, in front of a group of people. It's a lot more than getting looked at wrong. Don't you agree?

 

[medic417]

So she could go to the man who just sexually harassed her and traumatized her and "talk about it"? No, man, no! Which part of "zero tolerance" is being lost here?

Again she may have even misunderstood what was said. There are two sides to everything. Also I said if more comfortable take a witness. The zero tolerance is being taken to the extreme in way to many instances. Again open communication would solve many many problems. If this is the only comment made by this instructor I say she either misunderstood or it was an unintentional comment that is better solved by talking, and again she could take a witness.

Based on your zero tolerance stance I should have sued the nurse that was part of my education ages ago that took my hand and used it to push her breast out of the way and made me put the ekg electrodes on in the correct position. She forced me to touch her so with zero tolerance she should have legal action taken.

Again if uncomfortable talk it out. Then move step by step, it will work for your benefit either in being shown more respect or in collecting a bigger check in the law suit.

 

[bstone]

Again she may have even misunderstood what was said. There are two sides to everything. Also I said if more comfortable take a witness. The zero tolerance is being taken to the extreme in way to many instances. Again open communication would solve many many problems. If this is the only comment made by this instructor I say she either misunderstood or it was an unintentional comment that is better solved by talking, and again she could take a witness.

Based on your zero tolerance stance I should have sued the nurse that was part of my education ages ago that took my hand and used it to push her breast out of the way and made me put the ekg electrodes on in the correct position. She forced me to touch her so with zero tolerance she should have legal action taken.

Again if uncomfortable talk it out. Then move step by step, it will work for your benefit either in being shown more respect or in collecting a bigger check in the law suit.

We disagree. I have absolutely zero tolerance (and so does the law AND the educational institutions) for the sort of behavior that went on in that classroom.

You seem to think that there SHOULD be some tolerance for sexual harassment. No way. Wrong.

 

[DarkStarr]

blah blah blah.. thats whats wrong with this society, a woman could wait 10 years to say something, and the minute she does, BOOM! ..the dudes guilty until proven innocent.

 

[bstone]

blah blah blah.. thats whats wrong with this society, a woman could wait 10 years to say something, and the minute she does, BOOM! ..the dudes guilty until proven innocent.

A very forward thinking individual.

 

[CAOX3]

It isn't that black and white, bstone you need to take a step back and look at how this may effect her. Its quite easy to just say report him, call the cops and get a lawyer.

W don't have to deal with the repercussions, sure maybe the guy gets fired and she is able to finish her class. What he doesnt, he then makes her life miserable, maybe he fails her or kicks her out of class. Maybe she losses her tuition and maybe the guy has some juice in the ems field and trashes her name so she never gets a job.

Its easy to sit in your ivory tower and peach about what needs to be done when you yourself don't have to deal with the consequences.

I agree the guy was out of lineand its a shame that she had to go through that but lets focus on what's in her best interest right now, not yours.