My gf is having our baby, should I deliver?

[abckidsmom]

It isn't about the kids...and they may care one day when they are older, care in the sense of how neat their Dad thought it was.

It is all about this being something I helped create. Why would I not be a part of the "final pregnancy act"? To me it is all about finishing what I started, plus I think it is fascinating.

But like I said, I have a strong wife totally unlike most of the other deliveries I have been a part of.

I think there are tons of ways to be a part of this "final pregnanct act." It doesn't have to mean catching the baby.

I do think it's pretty neat when the dad is the first one to hold and touch the baby. For a second or two, cause then he better give it to me, . If it didn't mean parenting a whole 'nother child for his entire lifetime, I would love to have that first half hour after delivery a dozen more times. It's that much of a high, that fantastic, that amazing.

My husband was there each and every time, mostly in a support/spectator role except for that last one, and he really didn't see it that way at all. He's a terrific dad, and totally into each and every one of our kids, but was happy to let the baby be in my domain and just take care of me for the first several months.

Every. single. family. is different, and if you go into it trying to be like all the other people, it will just delay you finding out what your normal looks like. To the OP, talk to your girlfriend and find out what you guys want to do. And then be willing to throw the plan out the window when the time comes and you find out that it's just not really a plannable event.

 

[bulletprooftiger]

I have alot to really consider now, this delivery will be taking place in a hospital, and my OB is only allowing me to assist her side by side, no over the shoulder. As far as being there for emotional support I'm concerned, but my girlfriend and I agree that being face to face and totally involved with our starting family is every bit if not more personal and supportive as being side by side with her. As far as the slime goes that ain't no thang, so I think I've already made my decision.if it's a normal delivery I will participate as much as possible. Thanks for the feedback!

 

[akflightmedic]

You said it yourself though, you ruined 3 shirts. You were not the guy in the gown, gloves and mask calling the shots. I think there is a big difference between being involved and cutting the cord and actually doing the delivery yourself.

I agree 100% and my posting was more in response to the others who said to not watch or do anything to assist. I could not imagine having passed up on those 3 opportunities-they truly are priceless.

But really...calling the shots? That consists of coaching mom on breathing, coaching her on when to push and when to relax slightly, buttering up the lips, and then watching the little guy or gals head show itself and ensure the cord is not wrapped, a little suctioning, one more push and out comes baby!! For the majority of deliveries anyways...really not a lot to it.

I just dislike how people over complicate child birth and make it out to be one of these scary events to be avoided at all costs. Yes there are some serious cases from time to time, but most of the time, all is well and should be enjoyed such.

Oh well, to each their own. I am just so glad that despite my young age at the time, I chose to be as involved as much as possible in the pregnancy and delivery.

 

[dstevens58]

I was privileged to attend two of our three kids as they came into the world. Crazy Navy deployment to the Persian Gulf got in the way of the third one. I would have welcomed any hands-on (cord cutting or catching), but elected to be support for the wife. I could have handled either end [yeah, I tell me that now] and believe I can be "clinical" when I want/need to.

I was honored that the family practitioner we saw with our first pregnancy was of the attitude that I was "there" when the child was conceived, I was going to follow everything with the missus as we both went together to all the appointments. Made me appreciate the miracle of life from beginning to birth. TOTALLY AMAZING.

Being a patient-care representative in a military environment gave me the opportunity to assist in child birth twice (once in the back of the ambulance and once upon arrival in the emergency room with a "fast" delivery).

 

[ArcticKat]

I agree 100% and my posting was more in response to the others who said to not watch or do anything to assist. I could not imagine having passed up on those 3 opportunities-they truly are priceless.

Hmm, perhaps I misundertood the OP then. I was basing my advice on the understanding that the OP wanted to be right there between mom's legs and assisting her delivery while their OB stood back and watched. BTW, When I say assisting, I mean that Mom delivers the baby, all we do is assist her in the delivery.

If, on the other hand, OP is getting in there to cut the cord but the OB is doing the lion's share of the assistance, I am in full agreement with AK. There is nothing better than being involved, and in my experience, dad is always welcome to accompany the baby as it is whisked off to the nursery for evaluation.

That's where you wish there was two of you. One to help mom to recover her composure and the other one to follow your baby down the hall.

There's a choice for you two to discuss.

 

[abckidsmom]

Hmm, perhaps I misundertood the OP then. I was basing my advice on the understanding that the OP wanted to be right there between mom's legs and assisting her delivery while their OB stood back and watched. BTW, When I say assisting, I mean that Mom delivers the baby, all we do is assist her in the delivery.

If, on the other hand, OP is getting in there to cut the cord but the OB is doing the lion's share of the assistance, I am in full agreement with AK. There is nothing better than being involved, and in my experience, dad is always welcome to accompany the baby as it is whisked off to the nursery for evaluation.

That's where you wish there was two of you. One to help mom to recover her composure and the other one to follow your baby down the hall.

There's a choice for you two to discuss.

And then there's a whole other school of thought that wonders if there's really any need to whisk the baby away, anyway. There are nurses in the room in both places that have baby training, there is no pressing need to bathe the baby, the pediatrician can assess the baby in the room with mom.

I'm all for have a break after the whole labor process, and that's what the nursery is for, unless there is a problem with baby, but those first hours after the baby is born are his most alert, most peaceful hours for the whole first week, and the hormones flowing between mom and baby are supremely powerful for both of their well-beings. My recoveries when I was never separated from the baby were way quicker (weeks quicker) than even spending 6 hours without the baby on the first day.

/steps down from soapbox, returning to medic mode (these threads bring it out in me, sorry)

 

[bigbaldguy]

3 words dude "cheese like coating"

 

[abckidsmom]

3 words dude "cheese like coating"

3 more:

"softest skin ever"

 

[ArcticKat]

3 more:

"softest skin ever"

Little poop machine
Little cuddle bug
Little Giggle Bug
My tickle monster

Sorry, my twins are 13 months old.

 

[abckidsmom]

Little poop machine
Little cuddle bug
Little Giggle Bug
My tickle monster

Sorry, my twins are 13 months old.

Wait 3 more years, then you can have:

Wakes Sleeping Baby.

Good grief, but I love that boy. It's a good thing, cause usually it's not pretty if you wake my sleeping baby.

 

[bigbaldguy]

Yeah, maybe so but all of those still come out with a cheese like coating.

 

[abckidsmom]

Yeah, maybe so but all of those still come out with a cheese like coating.

Not the 41 week, 6.5 day treasures that cook all the way to 11 pounds, 14 ounces.

The only vernix on that baby was in the creases of her knees and armpits. Stubborn little punk.

 

[18G]

I would say definitely yes if you both feel okay with it. As a guy (and maybe Im in the minority) I think a child being born is a very awesome and powerful thing and to have a direct part in that is a life changing moment.

Do it though not for the clinical experience but for the bond and chance to aid your kid coming into the world. I never got to deliver any of mine but was up close and personal during the delivery and it's not that bad. Granted its nothing like in the bedroom (haha) but in the realm of what is taking place its not bad. Plus I think it can really be a bonding moment between you and your girlfriend too.

If you do decide to deliver just remember it all goes back to normal so its all good!

 

[Sasha]

When i have kids i dont even want to be present for that delivery. I hear they are messy and painful. Boo.

Sent from LuLu using Tapatalk

 

[lightsandsirens5]

I prolly won't be helping too much, cause I get sympathy pains. :wacko:
I'm sure it's really just mind over matter though.

 

[Nerd13]

I'm not a parent so my perspective might be a little different but I would say that as long as you and your girlfriend agree and the Obstetrician is okay with you being 'involved' it would be an amazing experience! I had to spend some time in OB during my paramedic clinicals and I felt so privileged to be present for such an amazing thing as new life being brought into the world. I found myself near tearing up a bit but I was in the clinical role so I had to hold back. Maybe it's just my girly hormones but I thought it was pretty awesome. Obviously, being a woman, I would be doing the majority of the work were I to ever give birth but if my boyfriend or husband wanted to be involved with the birth of our child I would be thrilled. What amazing memories and connection to your child!

That being said I wouldn't hold it against anyone who chose to remain next to mom the whole time either. It all depends on the kinds of memories you want to hold. Either way it will be a very emotional and exciting day! Congrats in advance!

 

[BandageBrigade]

And then there's a whole other school of thought that wonders if there's really any need to whisk the baby away, anyway. There are nurses in the room in both places that have baby training, there is no pressing need to bathe the baby, the pediatrician can assess the baby in the room with mom.

I'm all for have a break after the whole labor process, and that's what the nursery is for, unless there is a problem with baby, but those first hours after the baby is born are his most alert, most peaceful hours for the whole first week, and the hormones flowing between mom and baby are supremely powerful for both of their well-beings. My recoveries when I was never separated from the baby were way quicker (weeks quicker) than even spending 6 hours without the baby on the first day.

/steps down from soapbox, returning to medic mode (these threads bring it out in me, sorry)

Be there to support her, but by all means cut the cord, have the ob hand you your child, so you can hand him/her to your significant other.

Thankfully at the hospital we were at they will ask if you want things done in room with you or in the nursery. Our little one never had to leave us/our room.

 

[Aidey]

I agree 100% and my posting was more in response to the others who said to not watch or do anything to assist. I could not imagine having passed up on those 3 opportunities-they truly are priceless.

But really...calling the shots? That consists of coaching mom on breathing, coaching her on when to push and when to relax slightly, buttering up the lips, and then watching the little guy or gals head show itself and ensure the cord is not wrapped, a little suctioning, one more push and out comes baby!! For the majority of deliveries anyways...really not a lot to it.

I just dislike how people over complicate child birth and make it out to be one of these scary events to be avoided at all costs. Yes there are some serious cases from time to time, but most of the time, all is well and should be enjoyed such.

Oh well, to each their own. I am just so glad that despite my young age at the time, I chose to be as involved as much as possible in the pregnancy and delivery.

Hmm, perhaps I misundertood the OP then. I was basing my advice on the understanding that the OP wanted to be right there between mom's legs and assisting her delivery while their OB stood back and watched. BTW, When I say assisting, I mean that Mom delivers the baby, all we do is assist her in the delivery.

If, on the other hand, OP is getting in there to cut the cord but the OB is doing the lion's share of the assistance, I am in full agreement with AK. There is nothing better than being involved, and in my experience, dad is always welcome to accompany the baby as it is whisked off to the nursery for evaluation.

That's where you wish there was two of you. One to help mom to recover her composure and the other one to follow your baby down the hall.

There's a choice for you two to discuss.

I had the same impression as ArcticKat did about what the OP was asking, that is what I meant by calling the shots.

My concerns aren't based on the idea that childbirth is complicated. I personally think it is a bad idea because I don't think the second most emotionally stressed out person in the room should be wearing the catchers mitt ^_^. I also think it is important for him to be available to his GF, and not stuck down at her feet. If this wasn't their first child it may be different, but for a green EMT having his first kid I think it is best to let the OB handle things. I do agree 100% that he should be there and be involved.

 

[systemet]

And then there's a whole other school of thought that wonders if there's really any need to whisk the baby away, anyway. There are nurses in the room in both places that have baby training, there is no pressing need to bathe the baby, the pediatrician can assess the baby in the room with mom.

I'm all for have a break after the whole labor process, and that's what the nursery is for, unless there is a problem with baby, but those first hours after the baby is born are his most alert, most peaceful hours for the whole first week, and the hormones flowing between mom and baby are supremely powerful for both of their well-beings. My recoveries when I was never separated from the baby were way quicker (weeks quicker) than even spending 6 hours without the baby on the first day.

/steps down from soapbox, returning to medic mode (these threads bring it out in me, sorry)

Where I'm living right now, they basically never separate the parents from the infant. One parents is always present. Even if the baby comes out flat, the father gets taken with the resuscitation team.

If the child is healthy, they just get wrapped in a bathroom, and given to mum to hold. The routine is for the father to cut the cord. I like this a lot.

I agree with other people, that it's nice to get to cut the cord.

 

[mycrofft]

generically though it is not good to treat family or close friends.

They remember when you hurt them, you will have trouble making the hard calls fast enough, and the inevitable post-illness critiques will drive a wedge.
Not to mention you do not have the miystique (fiction writers call it "a willing suspension of disbelief"); you aren't Johhny or Roy, you're the guy who burns the toast, so why should she believe you when you say anything.
Other than "I love you".

(Hey, I was liking the three word baby haikus):rofl:.