I-cant-fix-stupid
Forum Ride Along
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So my favorite frequent flyer just doesnt learn. As you read this story you will figure out, usually by about call number two, that it is just not this kids time to go. Yet they cannot seem to get this through their VERY thick (as you'll soon find out) skull. *sigh
Call#1- Dispatched to address for attempted suicide. PD is on scene gently restraining pt, pt is bleeding onto parents new couch. Pt tried to slit wrists, the "right" way and missed all major vessels. Pt is very pissed. We apply pressure, load and go. Bleeding stops enroute and we pass them off to the ED to get stitched up and placed on SI hold. Silly me, I thought I'd never see this kid again.
Call#2- We get dispatched to a familiar sounding address for suicidal ideation. PD is on scene and pt states that they swallowed an entire bottle of oxycontin 10 minutes prior to arrival. We give activated charcoal and pt agrees to be transported to the ED. Enroute, activated charcoal makes a comeback (I was still green enough to give it at the time) all over me, my partner and our rig. The firefighter in the front seat giggles like a schoolgirl all the way to the ED. We pass pt off to ED staff and stand around in ugly scrubs while our pants get washed in the staff lounge. After two hours of decon we are back in service with new shirts and fresh washed pants. (lesson learned- if pt gets Acidose, fire rides in the back for "safety reasons")
Call#3- Dispatched to a VERY familiar address for a GSW (gun shot wound for those not in EMS). My partner and I look at eachother and roll our eyes, not agaaain... Yep, its our favorite teenager. PD is getting as tired of this family as we are but here they are again, consoling mom and questioning the dramatic one. The pt attempted to shoot themselves in the head, first with the father's .40 cal and when that jammed (clue you shouldnt be doing this? maybe?) he grabbed the father's 9mm. 9mm resulted in the bullet skimming along the mandible and exiting the cheek. The pt didn't even lose a tooth. We transport pt to the ED code 3 for treatment and another! psych hold.
Call#4- Dispatched to an auto-ped suspiciously close to our favorite address. Arrive on scene to find the Invincible Patient laying in the street, pissed again because the car they jumped in front of didnt kill them. Thankfully there are no hysterical parents on scene. We assess and package pt and deliver them to the ED. The charge nurse is NOT happy to see us. Parents arrive and we make a run for our rig. Pt injuries were a tib-fib fracture and head lac.
Call#5- Dispatched to favorite address for attempted suicide. "Medic 121, Dispatch"... ""Medic 121",
maybe it will be something good...
"Medic 121 respond code 3 to (address) for Suicide attempt",
f***ing d**nit, please no, I'll do anything...
"Copy that Satan" Satan is not amused. We try enroute to beg, plead, coerce, pay ANYONE else to run this call. No luck. Arrive on scene to hysterical parents, PD and a VERY angry combative pt who tried to hang themselves with parachute cord. It snapped under their weight. I must excuse myself to the rig to die laughing. (how the hell does parachute cord snap under 180lbs? A- The hand of God? B-The hand of God?). Pt is collared, boarded and transportd to ED. The charge nurse meets us in the bay claiming to be on divert. She lies. I doubt I will ever get back in her good graces. At least theres no decon this time...
Call#6- - Dispatched to ritzy downtown condo highrise for a fall. Arrive on scene to find Jesus' Forgotten Sibling lying on the ground by the front steps of aforementioned building, groaning and clutching at their leg. I burst into gut wrenching laughter and must excuse myself back to my rig to find something I "need" while my partner assesses our old friend. Que snotty, shocked muttering from bystanders at my unprofessional behavior. I compose myself enough to return to the scene in time to help board the pt and transport them to the ED. A sparky new nurse looks excited to see us and our buddy. haha just wait. We turn the pt over to the ED and sprint for our rig before Charge Nurse Ratchet finds us and skins us alive.
This was the last time I saw my favorite frequent flyer but i doubt it ill be the last. All of these calls occurred over just 8 months time.
Call#1- Dispatched to address for attempted suicide. PD is on scene gently restraining pt, pt is bleeding onto parents new couch. Pt tried to slit wrists, the "right" way and missed all major vessels. Pt is very pissed. We apply pressure, load and go. Bleeding stops enroute and we pass them off to the ED to get stitched up and placed on SI hold. Silly me, I thought I'd never see this kid again.
Call#2- We get dispatched to a familiar sounding address for suicidal ideation. PD is on scene and pt states that they swallowed an entire bottle of oxycontin 10 minutes prior to arrival. We give activated charcoal and pt agrees to be transported to the ED. Enroute, activated charcoal makes a comeback (I was still green enough to give it at the time) all over me, my partner and our rig. The firefighter in the front seat giggles like a schoolgirl all the way to the ED. We pass pt off to ED staff and stand around in ugly scrubs while our pants get washed in the staff lounge. After two hours of decon we are back in service with new shirts and fresh washed pants. (lesson learned- if pt gets Acidose, fire rides in the back for "safety reasons")
Call#3- Dispatched to a VERY familiar address for a GSW (gun shot wound for those not in EMS). My partner and I look at eachother and roll our eyes, not agaaain... Yep, its our favorite teenager. PD is getting as tired of this family as we are but here they are again, consoling mom and questioning the dramatic one. The pt attempted to shoot themselves in the head, first with the father's .40 cal and when that jammed (clue you shouldnt be doing this? maybe?) he grabbed the father's 9mm. 9mm resulted in the bullet skimming along the mandible and exiting the cheek. The pt didn't even lose a tooth. We transport pt to the ED code 3 for treatment and another! psych hold.
Call#4- Dispatched to an auto-ped suspiciously close to our favorite address. Arrive on scene to find the Invincible Patient laying in the street, pissed again because the car they jumped in front of didnt kill them. Thankfully there are no hysterical parents on scene. We assess and package pt and deliver them to the ED. The charge nurse is NOT happy to see us. Parents arrive and we make a run for our rig. Pt injuries were a tib-fib fracture and head lac.
Call#5- Dispatched to favorite address for attempted suicide. "Medic 121, Dispatch"... ""Medic 121",
maybe it will be something good...
"Medic 121 respond code 3 to (address) for Suicide attempt",
f***ing d**nit, please no, I'll do anything...
"Copy that Satan" Satan is not amused. We try enroute to beg, plead, coerce, pay ANYONE else to run this call. No luck. Arrive on scene to hysterical parents, PD and a VERY angry combative pt who tried to hang themselves with parachute cord. It snapped under their weight. I must excuse myself to the rig to die laughing. (how the hell does parachute cord snap under 180lbs? A- The hand of God? B-The hand of God?). Pt is collared, boarded and transportd to ED. The charge nurse meets us in the bay claiming to be on divert. She lies. I doubt I will ever get back in her good graces. At least theres no decon this time...
Call#6- - Dispatched to ritzy downtown condo highrise for a fall. Arrive on scene to find Jesus' Forgotten Sibling lying on the ground by the front steps of aforementioned building, groaning and clutching at their leg. I burst into gut wrenching laughter and must excuse myself back to my rig to find something I "need" while my partner assesses our old friend. Que snotty, shocked muttering from bystanders at my unprofessional behavior. I compose myself enough to return to the scene in time to help board the pt and transport them to the ED. A sparky new nurse looks excited to see us and our buddy. haha just wait. We turn the pt over to the ED and sprint for our rig before Charge Nurse Ratchet finds us and skins us alive.
This was the last time I saw my favorite frequent flyer but i doubt it ill be the last. All of these calls occurred over just 8 months time.
