I HATE my partner

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Josh4010

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I was assigned to a partner and i absolutley hate him with all my hearts content. This is my first ems job and ive been working for this company for 4 months now. Also my partner was the one who trained me when i first started. The training period is 2 weeks and then your released with a partner. But recently he wanted to be my permanent partner. And he still treats me like im in training. He critiques EVERYTHING I DO AND SAY. He is a smartass everytime i try to make a conversation. Like he is against me or some :censored:? And I know how to do my job correctly. But when i have a partner who constanlty judges my every move and I feel im constantly being starred at and ill make a few minor mistakes because im under pressure from this :censored:. I dread going to work everyday. He tells me do to do the obvious in front of patients. He trys to make me himself feel better by trying to make me look stupid. Once he does his attitude changes and gets a lil confidence boost out of it. Im close to snapping on this guy and just telling him to shut the :censored: up and let me do my job. I would go to my supervisor but i really dont want a record of being incompatible to work with others so idk what I should do? Advice? Anyone had similar problems?
 
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Josh4010 said:
I was assigned to a partner and i absolutley hate him with all my hearts content. This is my first ems job and ive been working for this company for 4 months now. Also my partner was the one who trained me when i first started. The training period is 2 weeks and then your released with a partner. But recently he wanted to be my permanent partner. And he still treats me like im in training. He critiques EVERYTHING I DO AND SAY. He is a smartass everytime i try to make a conversation. Like he is against me or some :censored:? And I know how to do my job correctly. But when i have a partner who constanlty judges my every move and I feel im constantly being starred at and ill make a few minor mistakes because im under pressure from this :censored:. I dread going to work everyday. He tells me do to do the obvious in front of patients. He trys to make me himself feel better by trying to make me look stupid. Once he does his attitude changes and gets a lil confidence boost out of it. Im close to snapping on this guy and just telling him to shut the :censored: up and let me do my job. I would go to my supervisor but i really dont want a record of being incompatible to work with others so idk what I should do? Advice? Anyone had similar problems?
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Have you tried having mature conversation with him and telling him the issues you are having?
 
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Anonymous said:
Have you tried having mature conversation with him and telling him the issues you are having?
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Yes I have. I told him I know how to do my job. So then he says okay the next call im not going to do anything and let you figure it out by yourself. So that next call I was under pressure from this guy and made mistakes I normally would never make because he is constantly starring at me like im an idiot and waiting for me to make a minor mistake. One example was we were transferring a patient from the hospital bed to the stretcher and i never seen this type of bed before so I didn't know how to unlock the bed to move it close to the stretcher. This guy has been at this company for 3 years. So instead of helping me he just stands there and looks at me like I'm a moron as I try to figure out how to unlock the bed. It's just minor things like that. And then he makes smarta** remarks about it. He makes my confidence drop and Im starting to feel bad about myself. Ive never had this problem with anyone else.
 
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So he helps you without asking and you get upset. Then you talk to him and he agrees to not offer unsolicited help. Then when he doesn't provide that help on a call, you get upset for him not providing it? I'm confused...

Honestly, it sounds like you may be making it into a bigger deal than it is, being hyper aware of anything he does an assuming its targeted at you specifically.

If you just absolutely can't stand to work with him, and you won't talk with him or it doesn't work, then you're only choices are to request a different partner or get over it.
 
STXmedic said:
So he helps you without asking and you get upset. Then you talk to him and he agrees to not offer unsolicited help. Then when he doesn't provide that help on a call, you get upset for him not providing it? I'm confused...

Honestly, it sounds like you may be making it into a bigger deal than it is, being hyper aware of anything he does an assuming its targeted at you specifically.

If you just absolutely can't stand to work with him, and you won't talk with him or it doesn't work, then you're only choices are to request a different partner or get over it.
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Agreed.
 
I'm going to go ahead and disagree with some previous posts. I think I get what your saying so here's my 2 cents.

You can still talk to a manager and not be known as the one who can't work well with others. I would suggest framing this more as asking your supervisor for advice on how YOU can improve your working relationship with your partner. Make it about you actively trying to improve the situation and not just wanting someone else to deal with it. Don't even bring up the idea of a new partner.

Good luck!
 
STXmedic said:
So he helps you without asking and you get upset. Then you talk to him and he agrees to not offer unsolicited help. Then when he doesn't provide that help on a call, you get upset for him not providing it? I'm confused...

Honestly, it sounds like you may be making it into a bigger deal than it is, being hyper aware of anything he does an assuming its targeted at you specifically.

If you just absolutely can't stand to work with him, and you won't talk with him or it doesn't work, then you're only choices are to request a different partner or get over it.
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I agree as well. You say you've been working for four months ... you're still pretty new and you still have a lot to learn. Maybe think about what you can learn from the senior members you get to work with. When I was new, some of the medics I learned the most from were people I didn't particularly get along with or didn't enjoy working with.
 
Josh4010 said:
I was assigned to a partner and i absolutley hate him with all my hearts content. This is my first ems job and ive been working for this company for 4 months now. Also my partner was the one who trained me when i first started. The training period is 2 weeks and then your released with a partner. But recently he wanted to be my permanent partner. And he still treats me like im in training.
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You have been an EMT for 4 months. You may not officially still be in training but you most likely still have much to learn. 2 weeks training doesn't sound like much.

Josh4010 said:
He critiques EVERYTHING I DO AND SAY. He is a smartass everytime i try to make a conversation. Like he is against me or some :censored:? And I know how to do my job correctly. But when i have a partner who constanlty judges my every move and I feel im constantly being starred at and ill make a few minor mistakes because im under pressure from this :censored:.
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Do not blame others for your mistakes, it is immature. This can be a high stress job and if someone watching you causes you to make mistakes then there is a problem. Someone will usually watching/pressuring you whether it be your partner, a patient, family, or other health care professionals.

General advice: Proper grammar and professional language goes a long way even on an informal forum. Judging by the gratuitous use of ******s in your post and your demeanor you may be a part of the problem.
 
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Chase said:
You have been an EMT for 4 months. You may not officially still be in training but you most likely still have much to learn. 2 weeks training doesn't sound like much.



Do not blame others for your mistakes, it is immature. This can be a high stress job and if someone watching you causes you to make mistakes then there is a problem. Someone will usually watching/pressuring you whether it be your partner, a patient, family, or other health care professionals.

General advice: Proper grammar and professional language goes a long way even on an informal forum. Judging by the gratuitous use of ******s in your post and your demeanor you may be a part of the problem.
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This guy is an fto for the company and everyone else i have worked with has said that he's a terrible fto. Making yourself feel better off other peoples mistakes isnt teaching it's just bullying. He gets angry if you try to ask him a question about something to the point where you dont say anything at all. And really someone is going to be watching me in ems?? I had no idea!!!! Your not getting what I was saying or something. Im not even going to try to explain because your not going to get off your high horse and try to understand it from my point of view.
 
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If you can't talk to your partner then follow your companies chain of command and request a new partner. There isn't much to do.
 
Josh4010 said:
This guy is an fto for the company and everyone else i have worked with has said that he's a terrible fto. Making yourself feel better off other peoples mistakes isnt teaching it's just bullying. He gets angry if you try to ask him a question about something to the point where you dont say anything at all. And really someone is going to be watching me in ems?? I had no idea!!!! Your not getting what I was saying or something. Im not even going to try to explain because your not going to get off your high horse and try to understand it from my point of view.
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nwhitney said:
I'You can still talk to a manager and not be known as the one who can't work well with others. I would suggest framing this more as asking your supervisor for advice on how YOU can improve your working relationship with your partner. Make it about you actively trying to improve the situation and not just wanting someone else to deal with it.
Click to expand...


STXmedic said:
If you just absolutely can't stand to work with him, and you won't talk with him or it doesn't work, then you're only choices are to request a different partner or get over it.
Click to expand...


DesertEMT66 said:
If you can't talk to your partner then follow your companies chain of command and request a new partner. There isn't much to do.
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3char
 
STXmedic said:
3char
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I work for a transport service. Its not hard work. Its very simple its the same thing every call. This guy has a history of being a prick. He likes to make himself feel better by trying to belittle you. Especially with new people. He's on the verge of being fired. None of these people know what's going on. Your going to assume all these people are right because they said the same thing? Do you not know how to think for yourself?
 
Josh4010 said:
I work for a transport service. Its not hard work. Its very simple its the same thing every call. This guy has a history of being a prick. He likes to make himself feel better by trying to belittle you. Especially with new people. He's on the verge of being fired
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Welcome to EMS/Fire/LE. There are always going to be those kinds of people no matter where you go.
 
Josh4010 said:
Who are you to tell me to get a different job? Just from my post you think you know where I belong? You know nothing about me. Your response is dumb and ignorant
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How about toning back the attitude?
 
Josh4010 said:
This guy is an fto for the company and everyone else i have worked with has said that he's a terrible fto. Making yourself feel better off other peoples mistakes isnt teaching it's just bullying. He gets angry if you try to ask him a question about something to the point where you dont say anything at all. And really someone is going to be watching me in ems?? I had no idea!!!! Your not getting what I was saying or something. Im not even going to try to explain because your not going to get off your high horse and try to understand it from my point of view.
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It's responses like this that make me think that there's more to this story.

We asked you if you had a mature conversation with him and you answered with "I told him I know how to do my job." That's not a mature conversation that's lashing out.

You've done this for 4 months, you don't know what you're doing. I've done this for 2 and a half years and I still have times where I don't feel like I know what I'm doing. I'm not attacking you, I'm just pointing out facts.

Have you ever considered he is trying to teach you but you're not open to it? I'd bet if you talked to him rather than telling him off he might change. How will you ever know if you don't try?

If you lash out at us all we're going to do is poke fun at you and not really help you.

If you really can't sort it out talking to a supervisor won't label you as incompatible with others provided you've attempted to correct the situation and it doesn't become a pattern.

Your partner watching you shouldn't put pressure on you, you didn't seem to appreciate it being pointed out that people will always be watching but let me give you an example of real pressure. Our jail videotapes us when we run cardiac arrests. Also, try running a cardiac arrest on a casino floor on a Saturday night. That's pressure.
 
You're going to work with partners that you do not like. You're also going to get patients who hate you even more, and call you names and spit on you. Communication communication communication.



Reality: It doesn't matter where you choose to work IFT,emerg service, another health profession or even the local restaurant serving food. Communication is essential to life, like oxygen and glucose.


P.s I don't think you hate anyone.
 
Sounds like you're the problem.
 
Inform the individual about your problems with the current working relationship. I would perhaps leave out the personal attacks against him due to the fact he's a superior and you're a brand-new-wet-behind-the-ears rookie.

When I hear someone say, "I know how to do my job", that means they 100% know the ins and outs of how to perform their job. I'm sorry, but after 4 months you don't know how to "do your job" yet. This isn't a Wal Mart cashier position where probation lasts 3 months. You're in EMS.

Perhaps you should find a bit of maturity and actually LEARN from this person instead of putting up brick walls at every turn when he is trying to help you. It'll make you a better health care provider in the end.

Rob
 
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