Disturbing call. more disturbing family responce

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fishyfish

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Hi guys, Hows everybody been. Recently I had a bad call one of those OMG types. Messed with me a little bit. Now my girlfriend has a radio on open at the house she heard it was a crowbar attack and my unit on it the attack sister on sister"teenagers" . Lets just say first look made you say Oh F***. Well get home. Got in a minor argument about the dog getting in the trash while I was at work. But I ended up being called a Big fat freak EMT loser, who thinks he can save lives when I can't. The thing that really hit home was when she said. Get a crowbar and hit me, I hope that girl died! Now does anyone else have misunderstanding families like this or do I just have a nut for a girlfriend?
 
........ What?

Can you edit that with proper grammar & punctuation, please?

I'm not trying to get all grammar Nazi on you, but I am legitimately having a hard time deciphering what you're trying to say.
 
Also, yes. It sounds like your girlfriend is a wacko.
 
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Ditch the *****. She doesn't sound worth the O2 she's wasting by breathing.
 
jacollins95 said:
I was mocked for being upset about a bad call
Click to expand...

Sometimes in life and in this job you are going to encounter people who are going to upset you. Sometimes they may be mean, uncaring, discontent, vindictive, malicious, back stabbing, liars, biased, arrogant, mocking, etc.

In life your feelings are going to get hurt. People are going to disagree with you. You will face adversity many times.

It is how you deal with that adversity that makes you who you are. Perhaps you will need to experience more in life to learn these lessons, but you may need to consider the field you are in. You may also need to grow some thicker skin, gain some self confidence, and you may need to get a new girlfriend.

I am sure that you are a decent EMT. In our field especially, to address your topic, we often times encounter more adversity than say a banker, cook, or any other "normal" career you can think of. Whether that be in making life-and-death decisions, dealing with violent people and situations, seeing other people at their worst moments and experiencing their emotional struggles through them, working long hours, and just seeing disturbing things such as mangled and mutilated bodies at times (obviously there are many other variable stressors.) In that, it is important to have the proper mindset and ability to handle difficult mental and physical stressors. Both personally and professionally we must be able to maturely and decisively act to make the best decisions for ourselves, our immediate team, and our patients. Some times you have to suck it up, for lack of a better term, and move on. You can't let the small things get to you because a mountain of straws will break the camel's back. Admittedly, when I was an urban 911 basic years ago I do not recall ever being the sole provider responsible for making life and death decisions; although, that is not to say that it does not happen to others.

Additionally, this is a field in which a stable support structure outside of the workplace needs to be suitable and healthy to deal with our stressors. Our field is rife with substance abuse, sleep disorders, divorce, and PTSD among our colleagues. Family is supposed to be supportive of you. Friends are supposed to be supportive of you. We as the "helpers" sometimes - as tough as we might be - need a little helping of our own. Personally, my girl is an RN. It is nice to be involved with someone who understands exactly what I'm talking about and shares the same mindset as I do, and also who experiences the same stressors that I do. It is a stable support structure. My ex, not so much... It was not helpful to say the least, so I have seen both sides of that coin, so to speak. You can also talk to your co-workers or supervisors if you are having a difficult time as it relates to the job.

However, if your loved ones are toxic to your aspirations and goals, then you may need to cut them out of your life. Some folks may be harder to cut out than others, and often times there are steps and attempts to reconcile that should be taken before shutting them out. Your "girlfriend" sounds toxic. I would not be with anyone who called me a fat loser who can't save people (or similar.) Not that I would be offended, because, well ---- her... is what I'd say. I would remove myself from that persons obvious path of self-detriment. Not to mention the fact that she is listening to the scanner at home and then making violent outbursts related to the type of call you were on. Both of those factoids indicate level 9 out of 10 crazy (aka RUN! crazy.)

In summary, and I apologize in being so long winded, you need to come to terms with the fact that life is tough, and you're going to get hurt feelings and feel like a failure once or twice. Don't take things so personally even if they are personal. You've got to be tough and get up, brush it off, and continue moving forward towards your goals. The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. And trust me, life can be hard work. Turn the other cheek on this girl of yours and find someone who appreciates you. The search may be long, but I promise that in the end you will be happier alone than with someone who treats you with such disrespect.
 
I'm sure you already knew the answer before you asked for advice... Leave her
 
I'm sure you already knew the answer before you asked for advice... Leave her
 
The link you posted didn't work for me. Trademark infringement or some BS.

Here is another if anyone else has the same problem viewing.

 
Tell her to take a deep breath in and never let it out.

The hott/crazy matrix! Yes! Perfect place for it to be posted.
 
jacollins95 said:
The thing that really hit home was when she said. Get a crowbar and hit me, I hope that girl died! Now does anyone else have misunderstanding families like this or do I just have a nut for a girlfriend?
Click to expand...

Wtf? No. Get rid of her ASAP.
 
Handsome Robb said:
Tell her to take a deep breath in and never let it out.

The hott/crazy matrix! Yes! Perfect place for it to be posted.
Click to expand...

Glad I could make that happen for you haha :)
 
jacollins95 said:
But I ended up being called a Big fat freak EMT loser, who thinks he can save lives when I can't. The thing that really hit home was when she said. Get a crowbar and hit me, I hope that girl died! Now does anyone else have misunderstanding families like this or do I just have a nut for a girlfriend?
Click to expand...

Calling you names? Insulting? Self abuse? Lack of empathy for others? Sounds like four strikes and you're out. Good luck. You deserve better.
 
Man, if you're going to last in this job field you are going to need a supportive girlfriend/wife. You need someone to be understanding. Sounds like this isn't the one.
 
I feel like there has to be something missing here. Something in this scenario just does not sound right. Loved ones are necessary for support especially is this line of work. Seems like there had to be something before that got her agitated and this was a breaking point? It was definitely un-called for, for her to snap like that and especially to reference and exploit a tragedy like that. You guys have some work if you want to stay in that relationship. She also might just have had some sort of psychotic break. It is possible she was traumatized by hearing the call on the radio and could not handle it?
 
I'm with samiam. It's possible that you've told the whole story, but it would be very surprising if there isn't another side to this story that you've omitted. That said, yeah, she crossed a line that would definitely be a deal breaker for me. But, if she really doesn't have a problem crossing a line like this, surely this isn't the first glaring red flag. She doesn't appear to have the necessary stability to be in a relationship based solely on how you've described her.
 
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