daemonicusxx
Forum Lieutenant
- 131
- 0
- 0
You’re not gonna believe this one. It's great. Let’s start from the beginning. My partner and I are having a wonderful start to the day. You know the kind I'm talking about. Nothing is going right, were forgetting everything except our heads. Then this happens.
Medic 10 (that’s us) responds to Renal Care Center to pick up a patient. Pt. we haul everyday. She has this new sling thingy, new to us since we didn’t haul her there, just there to take her home. Well, we use the winch to pick her up outta the chair. It's hard enough to figure out how to use the winch and the sling together. Well we get her outta the dialysis chair and over to the wheel chair to put her on the scale. We get a good weight on her and winch her up again To put her on our stretcher. Well, we figure out that the stretcher has to go all the way to the ground cause the winch won’t bring her up high enough. By this time I'm just ready to go. Get the hell outta there. Well, we get it all the way to the ground.
Let me interrupt myself here to provide some background information. My boss thought it would be a good idea for us to wear some special uniform pants, the kind the cops wear. They have a blue stripe down both legs, polyester, and sorta snug on me. I don’t mind one bit because they accent my butt and the front side. So, everyone at Rescue Squad kinda kids with me about the pants, you know, the occasional “GET SOME BIGGER PANTS” remarks, I think they’re just jealous that I'm the only one that can get away with wearing a pair that’s that tight. Who knows?? Well, they are snug on me is my point. On another front, there is a girl there that has this funny habit of grabbing her pants at the thigh area, due to the fact that she has the BIGGGGEST butt I have ever personally seen. I kid you not, it’s very LARGE. Anyway, she has this habit of slapping herself on the thighs and grabbing her pants to hike them up before lifting the cot. When I say hike, she actually brings them up past the top of her boots, to get some room for her butt, it’s hilarious. We make fun of her.
You probably have an idea of where this story is going, but read on cause it’s hilarious. Back to before, we got the cot all the way on the ground. We get the patient over to the cot, and lower the winch. Success. We got her on the stretcher. Well, after moving the winch outta the way, I squat down in my tight polyester pants, and grab the head end of the cot. Ben goes to the foot and does the same thing. He gets about ¾ the way down and I hear this enormous fabric tearing sound, you all know the one I'm talking about. Like straight outta the movies. He looks at me and I look at him. When I look, I look down to survey the damage. Staring me right in the face is Ben’s LEFT TESTICLE. He looks down and then looks up to see where I'm looking. I, by now have this huge smile on my face, because I think the situation is so hilarious (definatly not becuase i like looking at his testicle). I actually couldn’t stop laughing; he jumped up and went to the restroom. When he came out his face was so red. It was a damn good thing that our patient was blind. Well, I walked behind him to sorta cover up the huge gaping hole in his pants so he wouldn’t be so embarrassed walking into the nursing home to take this patient back; we finally got him a new pair of pants. This was just the first of many things that were totally wrong with this day. Just this one overshadowed all events.
Medic 10 (that’s us) responds to Renal Care Center to pick up a patient. Pt. we haul everyday. She has this new sling thingy, new to us since we didn’t haul her there, just there to take her home. Well, we use the winch to pick her up outta the chair. It's hard enough to figure out how to use the winch and the sling together. Well we get her outta the dialysis chair and over to the wheel chair to put her on the scale. We get a good weight on her and winch her up again To put her on our stretcher. Well, we figure out that the stretcher has to go all the way to the ground cause the winch won’t bring her up high enough. By this time I'm just ready to go. Get the hell outta there. Well, we get it all the way to the ground.
Let me interrupt myself here to provide some background information. My boss thought it would be a good idea for us to wear some special uniform pants, the kind the cops wear. They have a blue stripe down both legs, polyester, and sorta snug on me. I don’t mind one bit because they accent my butt and the front side. So, everyone at Rescue Squad kinda kids with me about the pants, you know, the occasional “GET SOME BIGGER PANTS” remarks, I think they’re just jealous that I'm the only one that can get away with wearing a pair that’s that tight. Who knows?? Well, they are snug on me is my point. On another front, there is a girl there that has this funny habit of grabbing her pants at the thigh area, due to the fact that she has the BIGGGGEST butt I have ever personally seen. I kid you not, it’s very LARGE. Anyway, she has this habit of slapping herself on the thighs and grabbing her pants to hike them up before lifting the cot. When I say hike, she actually brings them up past the top of her boots, to get some room for her butt, it’s hilarious. We make fun of her.
You probably have an idea of where this story is going, but read on cause it’s hilarious. Back to before, we got the cot all the way on the ground. We get the patient over to the cot, and lower the winch. Success. We got her on the stretcher. Well, after moving the winch outta the way, I squat down in my tight polyester pants, and grab the head end of the cot. Ben goes to the foot and does the same thing. He gets about ¾ the way down and I hear this enormous fabric tearing sound, you all know the one I'm talking about. Like straight outta the movies. He looks at me and I look at him. When I look, I look down to survey the damage. Staring me right in the face is Ben’s LEFT TESTICLE. He looks down and then looks up to see where I'm looking. I, by now have this huge smile on my face, because I think the situation is so hilarious (definatly not becuase i like looking at his testicle). I actually couldn’t stop laughing; he jumped up and went to the restroom. When he came out his face was so red. It was a damn good thing that our patient was blind. Well, I walked behind him to sorta cover up the huge gaping hole in his pants so he wouldn’t be so embarrassed walking into the nursing home to take this patient back; we finally got him a new pair of pants. This was just the first of many things that were totally wrong with this day. Just this one overshadowed all events.
