Constantly Seeing Loved Ones As Patients

[PeopleDeliveryBoy]

Thank you all for the help. I've just made an appointment with specialist I spoke to on the phone for about 15-20 minutes. Vietnam vet himself(intelligence). Perfect.

I'll update when I can.
Thank you for the push.

 

[ego]

http://codegreencampaign.org/

Has stories about First Responders going through though times or mental health issues may have something you would be interested in and will definitely de-stigmatize the "padded room" feeling

 

[STXmedic]

Thank you all for the help. I've just made an appointment with specialist I spoke to on the phone for about 15-20 minutes. Vietnam vet himself(intelligence). Perfect.

I'll update when I can.
Thank you for the push.

Best of luck. I'm glad you went for it.

 

[Luno]

This is NOT unusual for us, but this is what we were never taught. My recommendation is to get some help, stay away from the drug pushers, but talk to someone who has been on the "ride." It's not because we're weak, it's because our brain wasn't designed for the psychological trauma we get handed to us daily. I call it the "ride" because I had to figure out how to explain the reaction that you go through when this happened to the junior EMTs and MEDICs that I had to train and mentor. I had to explain how it creeps up on you, how a smell/a sound/a location or any other minute detail might trigger a feeling that triggers a cascade of images, causing a flood of emotions, and then it can feel like your entire world has just dropped out of existence. I had to help them understand that it's okay to wake up screaming in the middle of the night, and it's not because you're going crazy, it's your brain just trying to help you through it. The feelings are ok, feel them, understand that it's going to suck, but if you fight it, they're never going away. It's ok to cry, it's ok to be mad, it's ok to not understand, but don't fight it, it's a hell ride, but you will get through it. Coping mechanisms help, but blocking it out just puts more water behind that dam until one day it's gonna break and drown you. A good counselor will help you out a lot as well.

 

[AmbalampsDriver1987]

Dude, you know the ems system has , CISM. Go there and they will help you. Ps it's called insurance. If your problem is not worth the few hundred to fix it, then it's not a problem.

Be realistic. You know there are options out there that are free and professional or near free and professional.

Mental trauma is common in ems. So', your local program has ways to help you cope including seeing an ems psych.

 

[AmbalampsDriver1987]

Also, talk with your wife or friends when something happens. I've seen all kinds of things like many dead kids at the same time and was in charge of the scene for four minutes til ems arrived. I was at my regular job not ready for it.

I was fine, then I started having dreams, imagining the children following me at night, always thinking about it, imagining my family in the same way, unable to hold my nephew for fear I accidentally mangle him somehow, waking up from dreams, and auditory hallucinations.

Then I said, "wow I am an idiot. Let me talk to someone." I went one time, don't take any medicine, and I can hold my nephew, be outside at night without wanting to crap myself, I don't think about the scene anymore, I dont have bad dreams and I don't have hallucinations.

Ems systems are built for intervention for their own as well.

Take advantage of the opportunity.

 

[STXmedic]

Not all systems have CISM or EAP set up. Be glad that yours does, because not having it is not at all uncommon.

 

[NomadicMedic]

And CISM isn't the end all, be all. Many studies have found it to be of no help or detrimental.

Everybody processes grief, and grieves, differently. People experience traumatic events differently.

 

[AmbalampsDriver1987]

I'm only telling him a bout how it helped me. I mentioned other routes too. I think if you don't like the idea of a psych talking to you then talk to your wife fellow ems personnel and trusted friends.

I went to a counselor for free through CISM and it worked well for me. No meds just opening and talking.

Do whatever works for you. Just explore it and talk to who you want to talk to but talk and be open about it. That makes it easier.

I had it to the point of vivid hallucinations, so I'm there with you.

Good luck and be open