Any chance you could be pregnant?

[abckidsmom]

"Any chance you could be pregnant?"

"No"

"Are you sexually active?"

"Yes."

"Do you use protection?"

"No."

"Then how is there no chance you could be pregnant?"

"I don't want to be!"



This is a thought process that comes with a birth certificate, just sayin.

 

[Adz]

I get that one all the time.

Once asked a 16 yo if she had intercourse lately and was told no, only for my partner to ask if she'd had sex and be told yes...

Stay in school kids.

 

[JJR512]

"Any chance you could be pregnant?"

"No"

"Are you sexually active?"

"Yes."

"Do you use protection?"

"No."

"Then how is there no chance you could be pregnant?"

"I don't want to be!"



This is a thought process that comes with a birth certificate, just sayin.

Wait...Are you saying that wanting something to not happen isn't enough to keep it from happening? Uh-oh...h34r:

 

[abckidsmom]

Wait...Are you saying that wanting something to not happen isn't enough to keep it from happening? Uh-oh...h34r:

Right? Ask my 16 yo nephew who really, really hoped someone would take care of his court-ordered community service paperwork befor ethe deadline tomorrow. Not me, bud. Call someone who enables.

 

[Akulahawk]

In my case.. Not a chance. I lack the appropriate parts... or copious amounts of Expectane...

 

[JJR512]

I've been told by my instructor that anytime it might make a difference, or be important to know, if a female patient is pregnant, we're supposed to ask her, if she appears to be within "child-bearing age". And just what does that mean? My instructor said: "Ages EIGHT to EIGHTY".

 

[Veneficus]

All females between 8 and 65 are pregnant until proven otherwise.

Negative HCG will suffice.

Hysterectomy scar or history will suffice.

History of nonformation of the upper vagina and uterus or other mullerian duct structures will suffice.

I don't even ask if they are pregnant or could be, no need to.

 

[MrBrown]

Every patient Brown attends is a candidate for immeadiate rapid sequence intubation until proven otherwise too!

And Dana since when did you talk to Mrs Brown?

 

[usafmedic45]

This sort of frank stupidity is one reason why I argue that a volunteer group of medical professionals who offer free sterilization services would be doing far more good than most other types of charity work.

 

[Sassafras]

Sometimes it's just stupid to ask. 8 months pregnant is safe to assume. Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer. So when taken to the ER for breathing problems almost 9 months pregnant with a 9 pound baby and excess fluid the techs asked me "mamm is there any possibility you could be pregnant" I grabbed my belly and said "no that's just my tumor. It's why I am in the ER tonight".

 

[usafmedic45]

Sometimes it's just stupid to ask. 8 months pregnant is safe to assume. Ask a stupid question get a stupid answer. So when taken to the ER for breathing problems almost 9 months pregnant with a 9 pound baby and excess fluid the techs asked me "mamm is there any possibility you could be pregnant" I grabbed my belly and said "no that's just my tumor. It's why I am in the ER tonight".

If you want to get technical, up to a point, a fetus is more or less a tumor under most definitions. LOL This is why I don't have a problem with anything but late term abortions.

 

[Sassafras]

If you want to get technical, up to a point, a fetus is more or less a tumor under most definitions. LOL This is why I don't have a problem with anything but late term abortions.

I'm thinking that by your definitions, I no longer had a tumor. LOL

 

[JJR512]

If you want to get technical, up to a point, a fetus is more or less a tumor under most definitions. LOL This is why I don't have a problem with anything but late term abortions.

And a woman's body does indeed treat a fetus as an undesired foreign object.

Most genetic codes are matched between the male and female, but some have been found in both sexes with no match in the other. The male's unique codes instruct the fetus to develop large and fast, and to pull and horde as many resources as possible from the mother. The male's unique codes favor brawn as a means of survival. This is harmful to the woman, however. The woman's unique codes instruct the fetus to develop small and slow, trying to keep resources to her own body; as compensation, extra development of the brain instructed. The woman's unique codes favor intelligence as a means of survival.

There really is some truth in the stereotypes of the big brainless jock and the small wimpy nerd. These are cases where the man's (in the former case) or the woman's (in the latter case) special instructions had a clear victory over the other. Of course, there are exceptions; this is no absolute rule.

 

[Sassafras]

And a woman's body does indeed treat a fetus as an undesired foreign object.

Most genetic codes are matched between the male and female, but some have been found in both sexes with no match in the other. The male's unique codes instruct the fetus to develop large and fast, and to pull and horde as many resources as possible from the mother. The male's unique codes favor brawn as a means of survival. This is harmful to the woman, however. The woman's unique codes instruct the fetus to develop small and slow, trying to keep resources to her own body; as compensation, extra development of the brain instructed. The woman's unique codes favor intelligence as a means of survival.

There really is some truth in the stereotypes of the big brainless jock and the small wimpy nerd. These are cases where the man's (in the former case) or the woman's (in the latter case) special instructions had a clear victory over the other. Of course, there are exceptions; this is no absolute rule.

So if my boys end up smart and lanky, I'm the stronger mate in my relationship? SUHWEEET!

 

[MrBrown]

So if my boys end up smart and lanky, I'm the stronger mate in my relationship? SUHWEEET!

Lets just be deleting this thread before Mrs Brown gets any ideas .....

 

[lightsandsirens5]

Lets just be deleting this thread before Mrs Brown gets any ideas .....

Don't worry Brown, just tell her that if they end up frail and nerdy it's her fault. If they are superstar rugby players, then it is because of you.

 

[LucidResq]

I'm still waiting for someone to make the Depo Dart.

Some of the questions from and conversations I had with sexually active ladies of all ages and their partners while working in OB-GYN continue to terrify me. :\

 

[rescue99]

"Any chance you could be pregnant?"

"No"

"Are you sexually active?"

"Yes."

"Do you use protection?"

"No."

"Then how is there no chance you could be pregnant?"

"I don't want to be!"



This is a thought process that comes with a birth certificate, just sayin.

Hey, I've had these questions convert an SVT! Although the "Then how" was phrased as; So...then there IS a chnace you could be pregnant?" The young lady was apparently shocked to hear she could be preganant if she didn't bother with BC.:wacko: Her heart rate went brady for a few seconds, then popped right back up to a normal rate. Problem solved...for now.

 

[usafmedic45]

Lets just be deleting this thread before Mrs Brown gets any ideas .....

Dear God man, why would you let the Missus, read this forum?

 

[katgrl2003]

Dear God man, why would you let the Missus, read this forum?

Maybe the missus is an EMT? Jeez, one Brown is scary enough, two is terrifying.