You got WHAT...Stuck WHERE???

We had a 3 year old with his finger stuck in the barrel of a toy gun about a week ago. The crew was able to disassemble the gun and get his finger out.

Best one though was before my time. Ambulance got toned for a "miscellaneous medical" on a guy who was known as being somewhat odd. Female EMT (no longer with our department) walks in and finds him sitting, grimacing and shivering. She starts her assessment and asks him for his chief complaint. He can barely talk and says "Itsss....itsss...the...the...dildo." She looks at him and doesn't quite understand and asks "What dildo?" to which he responds "The...the...the...one...in....my...my...butt." Her eyes go wide and she says. "Oh. That must be uncomfortable." He had apparently had this <ahem> vibrating device "lost" inside him for over an hour before he called.

Needless to say, I believe they transported him left lateral. :D
 
how about a 62 year old lady who was *um* shall we say lonely, and only had a frozen fish that proceeded to defrost and the fins got impaled. :rolleyes: Um, Med Control, Um, you aren't going to believe this but...
 
boy talk about smelling like fish *shudder*

Its like Adam and Eve..after they first had sex Eve went and swam in the lake..God looks down throws his hands up in anger and yells,"GREEEEAT Now ALL the fish are going to smell like that"

A fish in the hoo hoo...glad that wasnt me
 
Celtictigeress said:
I was 7mths pregnant

"the ex hadnt put the toliet seat down... My *** got stuck"
Click to expand...

We had a similar episode last summer with the exception that the toilet seat was down. A woman with cerebral palsy was staying at the local hotel with her health care provider, who also had some physical disabilities. It turns out that she had slipped through the toilet seat and somehow turned and got stuck, her hips had slipped right on through. We tried everything available to lubricate her hips to hopefully pull her free. To make matters worse was that she was unable to talk or communicate without her wheelchair mounted talking computer. After removing the toilet seat from the toilet and still not able to slip her out, we ended up radioing dispatch to page out one fire unit with cutting tools (I didn't want the term "toilet seat extrication" being broadcast to the whole county, and wouldn't you know it, six firefighters showed up which is more than usually show up for and accident scene). After some careful cutting of the toilet seat using a reciprocating saw, she was finally freed from the seat. I know she must have been terribly embarassed, but she thanked us many times over from her wheelchair talking computer before we left. The hotel manager felt so bad that he refunded their money for the room and also arranged for dinner to be delivered from the restaurant.

That's the only time I've been on a call where something was stck where it shouldn't be.
 
A medic told me of one of the calls he went on, a guy had become stuck on his gear shift, rectally. I'll leave out the details. :wacko:
 
More things lost to the world...

I can happiy say I have seen the x-rays or (twice) been present for the admission of these patients into the ER...

A grown man sitting in our critical care room with no equipment running or attached, but a low hum emanating from the bed...who was messing around with his girlfriend and coughed - losing the electric toothbrush up his rectum while it was still on. He was waiting for surgery. :unsure:

An older gentleman with a rotted squash up his rectum after waiting a week for it to pass on its own with no luck.

A thirteen year old kid who was experimenting with a mini baseball bat and lost that too...then called his dad, who happened to be in the military, who walked his son into the ER in full uniform.:blush:

Other x-rays our hospital displays on certain days for laughs. Broken dildos with the springs in different areas of the GI tract, carrots, marbles, and frozen hot dogs.

_________________________________________________

You call it stupidity, I call it job security.

Long live the idiots...unfortunately.
 
A frozen hot dog?!?!?!? LMAO!
 
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