Andy Svendsen
Forum Probie
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Hello all EMTs, Paramedics, students first responders in general. I'm brand new to the EMS world and started a few months ago I have been riding the ambulance and going on calls for quite some time now I am only a student/probationary member in a volunteer rescue squad, not an EMT yet but working on that although...recently I've been beginning to question if this is really a good job for me. Now don't get me wrong the department I'm in is great, my partners are great and really care About me and encourage me to go on calls, since I also dispatch for our department and I prefer to do that sometimes since I feel I'm really good at it. The problem lies within me, everytime I get on that ambulance I'm honestly scared, but I still go, sometimes I don't even know what I'm afraid of, this job has been my dream ever since I can remember, I've always wanted to be in the emergency services such as the police department, EMS, fire Etc. And everytime I tried to see myself doing something else it was just impossible. Now I didn't choose it because I think it's cool or want to be a hero I truly want to save lives and make a difference also I've had many situations in my life where I feel I've been given a second chance so I want to give others that same chance I was given. But when I go on a call even if the call is nonsense or BS I get anxiety and sometimes so bad I start to feel dizzy and feel like maybe I'll pass out, might sound silly but I hate it. I hate feeling this way, I haven't seen a super serious call yet, and I ask myself if I can barely handle small calls how will I handle the big ones? I almost have no confidence in myself, I've been thinking about quitting and just do dispatching...although I hate the thought of quitting I hate the thought that I'm not able to do this job when I've wanted to for so long, I can't figure out why I'm so nervous and scared, I can handle seeing a lot of things, only things I don't truly like seeing are vomit and such, but I'm sure alot of emts feel the same way sorry if this all sounds silly or stupid hope I'm not wasting anyone's time but thank you all for listening, have a great day