In your words, you "psyched yourself out really bad," "overwhelmed yourself," "broke down," "went crazy," and were "falling apart."
Clearly you were unable to function or work and likely should investigate other career paths. I could not have someone work for me as a solo healthcare provider, first responder, or operator of an emergency vehicle who may spontaneously "go crazy" as you said you did and become unable to function. If (and it's a big if) there was a readily defined and non reproducible reason this happened, a physician certifies that this was a single episode that is unlikely to happen again, that you are receiving treatment as needed, and an acceptable time has passed without any recurrences, I may consider allowing you to apply again.
If EMS (or any other job) causes this kind of breakdown in your mental state, why tie yourself to it? We need to be accountable for our own health and well being, and if something is causing an untoward and dangerous reaction like this, eliminate the source of the problem. To me, this is like saying "I really want to be a forest service ranger, but I'm allergic to trees." If stress, emergency calls, or medical decisions make you break down in this manner, this is not the career for you. No ifs, ands, or buts. If an EMS provider is afflicted with an unpredictable condition like this, they're no longer helping. They're a liability to everyone they work with, their patients, and the public in general.
