Why we don't talk.

Guess I'm done.
 
RocketMedic said:
I think the pro-talking crowd has made it both. Apparently everything's supposed to bother you and give you ptsd
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Where has that been said in this thread? It hasn't.




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Remi said:
Are we talking about why we don't talk to our peers, or our employers?

Are we talking about being afraid to seek help when we really need it, or complaining that everyone we work with doesn't want us crying on their shoulder every time we feel a little blue?
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OP started this whole about being afraid to seek help, but worrying about a stigma that may get attached. It's not about whiny babies crying on shoulders every time something isn't perfect. It morphed into the employer thing. And then it got stupid.
 
What if dead babies don't bother you?
Does that mean you need help?
Or do different people have different thresholds or different tolerance levels?

I think EAP is a good way to go about seeking confidential professional mental health counseling. I don't believe in spreading your feels out there in public on a regular basis.

(To the security clearance issue, it isn't one in EMS- but if you throw out some shrinks name on your SF86 then the men in black are going to get your records... HIPPA or no HIPPA... And could very well get you **** canned).
 
Summit said:
Yes if you qualify for FMLA, and your illness prevents you from returning to full duty for longer than FMLA limits, you can be terminated unless they like you and can find an alternate duty for you.

But work induced psychopathology is Workers Comp, so if pursued as such, unless you reach MMI and are still unable to work, they cannot terminate. Employers that are not ****s tend to try and find alternate duty for good employees who MMI without capability to return to original duty.

But retaliatory or creative termination for valid use of FMLA or WC in either instance is grounds for huuuuuge lawsuits, and also a sign that your employer is a raging ****.
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The way interpret this topic it has less to do with legislation to support mental health and all about how we treat each other in support of good mental health.

I've seen some disturbing comments about "pro-talking crowd" assuming that all incidents lead to PTSD. Let me ask this question, for those who say that they would be career suicide to come and discuss things with your fellow EMS members, what kind of response/feedback would I get if I PM'ed you directly asking for help? I think the spirit of this topic is to generally accept that what we do and what we see is not just traumatic to the the patient but we all need to open ourselves to the notion that we should be willing and able to help each other without bias, without judgement, and to aid in whatever capacity we can.

Just like in EMT-B we had verbal diarrhea, in EMS we shouldn't keep things in and allow ourselves to talk freely and openly about our problems.


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QRScomplex said:
The way interpret this topic it has less to do with legislation to support mental health and all about how we treat each other in support of good mental health.

I've seen some disturbing comments about "pro-talking crowd" assuming that all incidents lead to PTSD. Let me ask this question, for those who say that they would be career suicide to come and discuss things with your fellow EMS members, what kind of response/feedback would I get if I PM'ed you directly asking for help? I think the spirit of this topic is to generally accept that what we do and what we see is not just traumatic to the the patient but we all need to open ourselves to the notion that we should be willing and able to help each other without bias, without judgement, and to aid in whatever capacity we can.

Just like in EMT-B we had verbal diarrhea, in EMS we shouldn't keep things in and allow ourselves to talk freely and openly about our problems.


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Honestly? Depending on the cause and content of your gripe, it could negatively affect my opinion of you.

Were you to ask me for my opinion on a truly distressing call and if we had a prior friendship or association, that's one thing. If you're just an acquaintance complaining about a generic call, how you're being treated, etc then I might not have the same sympathy.
 
RocketMedic said:
Honestly? Depending on the cause and content of your gripe, it could negatively affect my opinion of you.

Were you to ask me for my opinion on a truly distressing call and if we had a prior friendship or association, that's one thing. If you're just an acquaintance complaining about a generic call, how you're being treated, etc then I might not have the same sympathy.
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I appreciate your honesty. What you said affirms the messaging that I see in EMS, that if you aren't in an existing group of people who have built professional friendships over years and who rely only on each other, that the new guys have to find their own way to cope. It's more of an exclusionary model than an inclusionary one. In my business I don't care if you are the lowest paid or highest paid person when I say I have an open door to listen and help--even if it's to grip about something--my door is always open. I may coach you on ways of dealing with those annoying non-critical issues that inexperience can bring but that's also part of the learning process that could lead to longer term professional relationships. But to dismiss the issue as irrelevant and not in my interest of time creates an environment where people are closed up about things in fear that they will be labeled as weak and ineffective. *****ing about things doesn't win points but if I can take that and turn it introspectively so that person can understand what is at the root of their discomfort or anger or frustration or fear than those are building blocks that will both help them cope but also give them tools to pay it forward. Just because we haven't done this before or just because you may not have had it when you were new doesn't mean that it's the right way--especially if there is another way that may be worth trying. It goes beyond EMS--physicians who during their residency work endless shifts for no other reason than the current staff had to do that when they were residents.

As far as I see it we have a choice. We can choose to accept things as they are and worry about what will happen when I need help or we can collectively try and make each other's needs more of a priority and to work to build up those relationships that will ultimately provide the system of care for those who may reach their emotional limits. Better to have something now than when you actually may need it don't you think?


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ViolynEMT said:
OP started this whole about being afraid to seek help, but worrying about a stigma that may get attached. It's not about whiny babies crying on shoulders every time something isn't perfect. It morphed into the employer thing. And then it got stupid.
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My comment wasn't directed towards anything specific that you or any one else wrote.

The thing is, being able to expect support from your employer when you have a legitimate mental health need and expecting everyone to listen constructively to when something is just "bothering" you are very different things. And it seems that they have gotten lumped together as the same thing in this thread.

Hence my question.
 
Remi said:
My comment wasn't directed towards anything specific that you or any one else wrote.

The thing is, being able to expect support from your employer when you have a legitimate mental health need and expecting everyone to listen constructively to when something is just "bothering" you are very different things. And it seems that they have gotten lumped together as the same thing in this thread.

Hence my question.
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No worries. I didn't take it personally. I was just clarifying. :)
 
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