Rin
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Having a bad night...what do you guys do to deal when a call gets to you?
When it gets to you
- Thread starter Rin
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The best thing to do is to talk to another person in EMS. Use this forum if you have too.
For me? I am pretty good at leaving work at work but have had a couple calls come home with me. Usually I will just hangout with friends and get my mind off it. If you have a hobby like fishing or something then go do that. Just don't resort to the booze, bad way to try and forget stuff and becomes a habit.
For me? I am pretty good at leaving work at work but have had a couple calls come home with me. Usually I will just hangout with friends and get my mind off it. If you have a hobby like fishing or something then go do that. Just don't resort to the booze, bad way to try and forget stuff and becomes a habit.
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joshrunkle35
EMT-P/RN
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For me, I find that speaking with a non-ems friend who I know will not judge or say anything to anyone else, that works best for me. I had something similar two years ago where I questioned all of my actions. Spoke with two friends and my girlfriend and it didn't really help, it was just speaking with one particular friend that really did help. He helped me understand that anyone going through what I went through might have made the same calls and might have doubted themselves as well. I was distraught for a week until I spoke with that person. Couldn't eat, sleep, etc., but talking was what made all the difference. If it's something similar, speak with those around you who care about you
If it is something smaller...some days I just have a rough day. One day, a few weeks ago, I (a newer paramedic) had a call where I was speaking with a patient who exhibited all the signs of ETOH. I never smelled anything, and couldn't shake this feeling that I had that this person was actually having a cerebellar stroke. I called for assistance from a nearby medic (while I was asking the patient questions and trying to get vitals) who was basically like, "Yeah, I think I faintly smelled ETOH." (Despite the fact that I had been speaking with this person for 15 minutes by the time the sheriff's office got there and never smelled ETOH, even though I was in the patient's face speaking with them the whole time) This patient did not want medical assistance and I could not take many vital signs, although I did get a glucose level, which was normal. Either way, I had to get the sheriff's office involved. The sheriff's were like, "Sure, we'll take him in for ETOH and let him sleep it off." I kind of just went with the more seasoned medic's (and the deputies' opinion) and let them take him, despite the fact that my gut was screaming, "No, let's send him to the ER and call in a stroke alert." At the end of the day, I spoke with a senior medic, who essentially said, "Always go with your gut." Frankly, that was all I needed to hear...someone else who does the same job, but is very experienced, validating my opinions and reminding me that I do a good job (other than that case) and should trust myself. I could either be sad about feeling like I did the wrong thing forever, or I could learn from it and become a better medic.
Some days I just drive a very long route home or try to go for a run before I see my family. Sometimes I just need 30 minutes to decompress. Just as long as the decompression doesn't come from a bottle.
If it is something smaller...some days I just have a rough day. One day, a few weeks ago, I (a newer paramedic) had a call where I was speaking with a patient who exhibited all the signs of ETOH. I never smelled anything, and couldn't shake this feeling that I had that this person was actually having a cerebellar stroke. I called for assistance from a nearby medic (while I was asking the patient questions and trying to get vitals) who was basically like, "Yeah, I think I faintly smelled ETOH." (Despite the fact that I had been speaking with this person for 15 minutes by the time the sheriff's office got there and never smelled ETOH, even though I was in the patient's face speaking with them the whole time) This patient did not want medical assistance and I could not take many vital signs, although I did get a glucose level, which was normal. Either way, I had to get the sheriff's office involved. The sheriff's were like, "Sure, we'll take him in for ETOH and let him sleep it off." I kind of just went with the more seasoned medic's (and the deputies' opinion) and let them take him, despite the fact that my gut was screaming, "No, let's send him to the ER and call in a stroke alert." At the end of the day, I spoke with a senior medic, who essentially said, "Always go with your gut." Frankly, that was all I needed to hear...someone else who does the same job, but is very experienced, validating my opinions and reminding me that I do a good job (other than that case) and should trust myself. I could either be sad about feeling like I did the wrong thing forever, or I could learn from it and become a better medic.
Some days I just drive a very long route home or try to go for a run before I see my family. Sometimes I just need 30 minutes to decompress. Just as long as the decompression doesn't come from a bottle.
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Rin
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I had a dying patient with agonal respirations the other night. I was fine with it at the time, but the next day I could barely get out of bed, body hurting all over (but not real pain, if you know what I mean). I can't stop thinking about my family member I watched suffocate to death in the ED a few weeks ago. I'm going to get out today & try to do something constructive.
Just have to remember that it is a part of life to pass on. It is also part of the job seeing it first hand, sometimes there is nothing more you can do. If you stay in EMS there will be plenty of calls like this, it may get easier for you or may not. If not then it may be healthy to choose a different path for your own sanity.
titmouse
aspiring needlefairy
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Talk about it with friends and family, and accept the fact that the person is dying. Its hard but its real, take pride in the fact that you were there for that person in their last moments and you were there for the family as well. And keep in mind that you will have many more of those patients, its a part of our job.
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Rin
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It's still so fresh. My relative's death was unexpected. It was slow and she suffered. I still don't understand what happened and I'm angry about it. I wish I could've taken time off to deal with it, but I had to stuff it down and go back to work. Watching a patient gasp out her last breaths really brought it back. I'm hoping it just fades with time.
LACoGurneyjockey
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The hardest calls for me are the ones I relate to family. The pediatric arrest the same age as my sister, or the rollover with ejection that had an uncanny resemblance to my uncle. I just have to tell myself you did your job, you did the absolute best you could to care for your patient, and at a certain point it's beyond your control. Find a coping mechanism like others have said, running, riding my dirtbike, taking a long drive thru the desert, whatever works for you but find something you can do when you get off work to decompress and process it. I've always preferred to talk it out with others in EMS just because they know where I'm coming from, just be clear up front that you don't want criticism, feedback etc on how the call went, just support on how to process it.
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I'm going to echo something. Find a coping mechanism that's a positive outlet for your stress. Medicating your sorrows doesn't work for long and it can really screw up your career. Those are destructive paths. Find someone in EMS, or that was, because they know the reality of what we do. Sure, while others can listen, but it often feels better to discuss things like this with someone you know has been in your shoes and is willing to maintain confidentiality.
Losing loved ones is never easy and while the sense of loss may never fade, the hurt feelings often do fade with time. Never, ever second-guess yourself about where you were and what you were doing at the time. Usually you don't know far enough ahead to make any significant difference about being there or not being there. It often doesn't help thing when you go down the road of, "if only I'd been there."
It's OK to talk to someone and it's OK to go do something positively constructive. It's not OK to bottle stuff up inside.
Losing loved ones is never easy and while the sense of loss may never fade, the hurt feelings often do fade with time. Never, ever second-guess yourself about where you were and what you were doing at the time. Usually you don't know far enough ahead to make any significant difference about being there or not being there. It often doesn't help thing when you go down the road of, "if only I'd been there."
It's OK to talk to someone and it's OK to go do something positively constructive. It's not OK to bottle stuff up inside.
Jason
Medic
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I've been a Paramedic for 10ys. ALS for 16yrs. I was an EMT for about 6yrs before all that. Started in EMS when I was 17 ... ... these are all good responses. All I can say is ... Please find someone to talk to. Someone close that can just listen, or someone that understands medicine and can help listen and give some feedback. Hobbies ... are great too. Many EMS providers get burned out so quickly due to stress. Save yourself ... so you can save another.
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Rin
Forum Captain
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Well, I got my cardio on today followed by an intense round of swimming and hot tubbing. I think I've decided on becoming a workout-aholic.
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Rin
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Water really does it for me, whether it's staring at the waves on the beach or floating & drifting in the pool. I need to get my hands on a kayak.
Jason
Medic
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I'm glad to hear you found a positive outlet. Sounds like you'll do well.
Most of us here, not to speak for everyone, but most of us here have had tough times and bad calls. I'm sure any of us will listen to the need to vent and release stress and the sadness that may come. Keep it up, take care of yourself ... You are gonna run into people that are gonna need you.
Most of us here, not to speak for everyone, but most of us here have had tough times and bad calls. I'm sure any of us will listen to the need to vent and release stress and the sadness that may come. Keep it up, take care of yourself ... You are gonna run into people that are gonna need you.
titmouse
aspiring needlefairy
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When there are waves, lately it's been flat.
Bishop
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I know I'm less than rookie. Haven't even started clinicals, but what helps me destress life's troubles in general is kayaking or backpacking. I mention this because you brought up kayaking.
For me, it's about simplifying life, if only for a little while. When I'm Hiking or kayaking the life goal is very simple. See that tree up there? Walk to it. Got another 4 miles today? Better keep walking right after this break. If I'm out for multiple days it's even better. My life is no more complicated than what I can fit my kayak or on my back. What I'll wear, eat, and do for entertainment has already been mapped out. What else is there but to look around and enjoy the scenery.
Whatever you come up, I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds like those who the practical experience have chimed in with good advice, God's speed to you.
For me, it's about simplifying life, if only for a little while. When I'm Hiking or kayaking the life goal is very simple. See that tree up there? Walk to it. Got another 4 miles today? Better keep walking right after this break. If I'm out for multiple days it's even better. My life is no more complicated than what I can fit my kayak or on my back. What I'll wear, eat, and do for entertainment has already been mapped out. What else is there but to look around and enjoy the scenery.
Whatever you come up, I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds like those who the practical experience have chimed in with good advice, God's speed to you.