When did you become an adult?

I must say not moving out was the best decision I've ever made. I went straight into EMT school then medic school because I didn't have the money to pay for college. I now pay for all of my school without loans and still live at home due to the fact that school is slightly expensive and i need to save because med school is even more so. Rent around here is 1000+ for even a hole in the wall....so am I a child for being a 21 yr old who doesn't have the money to pay for school and an apartment..? No..I busted my *** and sacrificed my social life to get to the point where i can pay for school..and even so i have to join the navy for med school..i feel being a medic forced me to grow up..at least around here..
 
piranah said:
....so am I a child for being a 21 yr old who doesn't have the money to pay for school and an apartment..?
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No, that doesn't make you a child. You stayed at home to be able to afford EMT and medic school, and also have the time to do so, since you didn't need work full time to support yourself. I did both while supporting myself, and paramedic school was done on my salary alone with a wife and a kid, but that's besides the point.

Now, if you were to continue to stay at home after completing your schooling, I would hold you in poor regard. You mentioned joining the Navy. Are you doing that shortly, or is that something you may or may not do down the line? If it's at some yet to be determined point in the future, then move out, be an adult, and make your own way. Sure, you'll save money by staying home, but that's the equivalent of your parents paying your rent. How is that being an adult?

It's not necessary to reply to say what your plans are. Plans can always change. What you end up doing matters not to me. I'm just answering your question.
 
piranah said:
I must say not moving out was the best decision I've ever made. I went straight into EMT school then medic school because I didn't have the money to pay for college. I now pay for all of my school without loans and still live at home due to the fact that school is slightly expensive and i need to save because med school is even more so. Rent around here is 1000+ for even a hole in the wall....so am I a child for being a 21 yr old who doesn't have the money to pay for school and an apartment..? No..I busted my *** and sacrificed my social life to get to the point where i can pay for school..and even so i have to join the navy for med school..i feel being a medic forced me to grow up..at least around here..
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I'm all for multigenerational living. We currently have a nephew living with us, and contributing in a big way to our family. If it works for you and it's not an imposition to your family, I think it's a great way to be.

It's just people who finish school, then enjoy mom's cooking and xbox for the next 15 years that look like slackers to me. Our nephew is unemployed and has some barriers to employment, but works 40 hours a week volunteering in the community or contributing to our family. He may look like a slacker in a lot of respects, but while he's looking for a job, he's contributing to society and not sitting around watching TV (although he finds plenty of time for that in the evenings).
 
46Young said:
Now, if you were to continue to stay at home after completing your schooling, I would hold you in poor regard.
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Just a note, 46; it's a different world out there today where choices are not as broad in terms of living arrangements as they once were. Economics have changed and the kids are doing the best they can with what they got. A lot of parents, at losses to their life pursuits, are helping to make entry into the larger society a bit easier.

...and as far as holding anyone in poor regard for simple, non-destructive choices?
 
As for living with parents... I've been living with my parents since August while I've been unemployed. I do chores, I help around the house, do whatever I'm asked since I'm not working. I love that they offered to help when I had nothing to fall back on.
 
firetender said:
Just a note, 46; it's a different world out there today where choices are not as broad in terms of living arrangements as they once were. Economics have changed and the kids are doing the best they can with what they got. A lot of parents, at losses to their life pursuits, are helping to make entry into the larger society a bit easier.

...and as far as holding anyone in poor regard for simple, non-destructive choices?
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I think you do get to respect or not respect the choice of a person to not "make something" of themselves as your value system leads you. Whether you are actively hostile to those people is another thing entirely. Rudeness is not generally acceptable.
 
abckidsmom said:
I'm all for multigenerational living. We currently have a nephew living with us, and contributing in a big way to our family. If it works for you and it's not an imposition to your family, I think it's a great way to be.

It's just people who finish school, then enjoy mom's cooking and xbox for the next 15 years that look like slackers to me. Our nephew is unemployed and has some barriers to employment, but works 40 hours a week volunteering in the community or contributing to our family. He may look like a slacker in a lot of respects, but while he's looking for a job, he's contributing to society and not sitting around watching TV (although he finds plenty of time for that in the evenings).
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If you have family living with you and they're pulling their weight, then there's nothing wrong with that. It's when they start getting comfortable, slacking, and acting like they own the place that they become a problem.
 
firetender said:
Just a note, 46; it's a different world out there today where choices are not as broad in terms of living arrangements as they once were. Economics have changed and the kids are doing the best they can with what they got. A lot of parents, at losses to their life pursuits, are helping to make entry into the larger society a bit easier.

...and as far as holding anyone in poor regard for simple, non-destructive choices?
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Perhaps I should clarify; if the young adult legitimately find work, got laid off, got plowed by a drunk driver, got divorced and cleaned out, or similarly legitimate issues, then they deserve help. The issue I have is when you have the means but you insist on staying home and living high on the hog.

I've seen plenty of individuals in my own family as well as friends and acquaintences that were always taken care of as children, and were not pushed to become independent as adults. They don't typically turn out so well. These are the ones who have it out with the parents, move out, and then come back in a couple of months or so after seeing how expensive it is out on your own. No survival skills. You have to toughen your kids up. The old timers would be married maybe with kids by the time they were in their early 20's. I'm not saying to do that, but you need to go out and hack it on your own. If you remain home you become soft. How are you going to (maybe) get married one day and support a family if you've always had the protection of living with their parents? When you go into debt with a family to feed, are you going to drink a lot? Get depressed and sleep all day? Walk out? Or are you going to step up?

The whole point of raising your kids is to prepare them to handle the world on their own. It's not the same when you don't have to worry about the roof over your head, electricity, heat, etc.
 
jtpaintball70 said:
As for living with parents... I've been living with my parents since August while I've been unemployed. I do chores, I help around the house, do whatever I'm asked since I'm not working. I love that they offered to help when I had nothing to fall back on.
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You're unemployed. Not your fault. I don't expect you to turn tricks on the street corner. I'd move back in too, if I was broke with no means of supporting yourself. Use this time at home to your advantage.
 
46Young said:
Perhaps I should clarify...;
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I'm with you. If someone is draining you they should be flushed.

I guess I reacted to what I interpreted as an "across the board" statement. Lots of kids pull their own weight, even if it's just for comic relief!

Hopefully, if you're in the middle of something like you describe, they'll be out soon.
 
abckidsmom said:
I think you do get to respect or not respect the choice of a person to not "make something" of themselves as your value system leads you. Whether you are actively hostile to those people is another thing entirely. Rudeness is not generally acceptable.
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I didn't say that I'm hostile to someone who has no ambition. I treat everyone respectfully unless their actions warrant otherwise. I just don't think much about them. It's that "The world owes me a living" mentality that irritates me. It's like when I was dating and I would find out that the girl only graduated high school, and maybe works for a temp agency or some low skill job, while not working towards anything better. Like they're just existing until someone comes along to take care of them. Or the 26 y/o living at home with the expensive beemer, all the nice clothes, goes clubbing three nights a week.

The other day a kid at work, who still lives at home, broke my balls about my beater car and was going on and on about his truck. I showed him the home I'm buying and told him how it costs 5-6 times more than that truck. I asked him how, when he meets girls, does he explain why he still lives with mommy and daddy? I told him how I was doing fine with a banged up '91 T-bird and a studio with nothing in it, while also four years his junior at the time (22). The ladies respected that a whole lot more than some boy with flashy toys that can afford them only because he depends on his parents.
 
46Young said:
You're unemployed. Not your fault. I don't expect you to turn tricks on the street corner. I'd move back in too, if I was broke with no means of supporting yourself. Use this time at home to your advantage.
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I did :) Saved a little money from odd jobs, and I start my new job in TX sometime next week
 
firetender said:
I'm with you. If someone is draining you they should be flushed.

I guess I reacted to what I interpreted as an "across the board" statement. Lots of kids pull their own weight, even if it's just for comic relief!

Hopefully, if you're in the middle of something like you describe, they'll be out soon.
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No, one's 6 and the other one's an infant. It's gonna be a few years. :P
 
46Young said:
You're unemployed. Not your fault. I don't expect you to turn tricks on the street corner. I'd move back in too, if I was broke with no means of supporting yourself. Use this time at home to your advantage.
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I expect him to be turning tricks.

WHERE'S MY MONEY?!?!


Hmmm... in many ways I feel very mature - but that's really only compared to most other 20 year olds I encounter. I was raised by a single epileptic drug-addicted father who was unemployed 70% of my teenage-hood. I grew up kinda fast in that respect. I took care of him while he seized, learned to live without electricity or phone service, and made awesome meals with powdered potatoes from the food bank. Paid my own way through college for over 2 years... until about 6 months ago when affording school AND getting good grades while sleeping on various couches or my car started to become too difficult.

Currently in my first place of my own, and still often feel like I'm playing house. I am extremely grateful for my life experiences - mostly facilitated through my jobs... I've sat with a woman as she died, cared for people my age with quadriplegia 2nd to MVAs, helped couples through miscarriage... etc etc...

On the other hand I respect the life experience of my elders, ESPECIALLY parents. I think that comes from my experience nannying... the biggest thing I learned caring for children is that nothing comes close to having your own. I got a taste... and it was enough for me to realize what a profound and consuming turn of life that is. I do not come close in maturity to most of my peers, especially those who are parents.
 
firetender said:
What I see is, well...different!
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Same here, but apparently that is because Brown is a blind bugger :D

Brown didn't have much of a childhood either, hence why Brown wants better for his kids. Whenever they come along. Have to ask Mrs Brown about that one.
 
what I was trying to get at..cost of living in general is more expensive than it used to be..its not as easy to get out and just do it anymore...school has tripled in cost, jobs are scarce. Times have changed, and not for the better..and I do agree with you, I hate the entitlement complex of people my age..I never expected my parents to pay for my $260,000 education...its just numbers...rent at the lowest $1000,school cost $260,000(without books included), car/gas/insurance $500, making good pay as a medic around here and looking at that bill while trying to keep above water...not so easy, if even possible.
 
on a side note...Brown.. I love the third person..just sayin
 
piranah said:
..I never expected my parents to pay for my $260,000 education...its just numbers
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What in the bloody hell did you study? Man my course in Helicopterdoctorology is only gonna cost like 70k :D
 
I notice that while I have for the most part become an adult and matured, I have several child like qualities that I retain. I don't think it's any fun to completely "grow up".
 
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