So to start out. I was a EMT for 8 years. Was on a 911 ambo for 3 and did psych care before that. Starting out I was always able to swallow the saddness and “be a man” about things. I left the ambo because I was no longer able to do that. Just a average code would shake me. To be honest, in my opinion, I really didn’t see horrific things. There are people including some of my last partners that have seen really disturbing things and are still on the job. There are soldiers that go to war and see haunting things. But I till this day I am shook about calls, I can close my eyes and see the faces of the of pts, my body literally puts its self back at the scene. I feel like such a pu**y. There are days that I come home to my wife in tears just cuz I can’t get them off my mind. I just wish the public knew how strong you all who are still in the field and who served many years are.