imurphy
Forum Captain
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(Shamelessly yoinked from here)
10. Your department still sends you to major EMS conferences...but with exhibit hall passes only. And the boss orders you to ''come back with enough schwag to stock all the trucks.''
9. The new trauma bags for your truck have ''EMS EXPO 2005'' embroidered on them.
8. Your system’s CFO starts hoarding canned food and shotguns.
7. Your new analgesia protocol consists of a whittled stick and instructions for the patient to ''bite down hard.''
6. The addition of Plavix to your ACS protocol has been scrapped in favor of medical leeches.
5. When having maintenance done on your truck, your fleet mechanic tells you, “Brakes, siren or tires. Pick any two.”
4. The fire department saves all of the used cooking oil from the EMS Week fish fry for conversion to bio-diesel.
3. You’ve heard your managers refer to your trucks as rolling billboards numerous times, but you start your shift one day to discover that they have actually become rolling billboards. Now you promote job security of future EMTs by driving the #79 Anheuser Busch/Hardee's ambulance. And on the ceiling above the ambulance cot, there’s a decal that says, “If you can read this, you may be entitled to a substantial cash settlement! Call 1-800-SUE-THEM and we’ll get you paid!”
2. The local nursing home catches your operations manager lacing cans of Ensure with antifreeze, while muttering something about “needing more dialysis patients.”
1. Your new trainee paramedic looks suspiciously like the CEO of General Motors.
10. Your department still sends you to major EMS conferences...but with exhibit hall passes only. And the boss orders you to ''come back with enough schwag to stock all the trucks.''
9. The new trauma bags for your truck have ''EMS EXPO 2005'' embroidered on them.
8. Your system’s CFO starts hoarding canned food and shotguns.
7. Your new analgesia protocol consists of a whittled stick and instructions for the patient to ''bite down hard.''
6. The addition of Plavix to your ACS protocol has been scrapped in favor of medical leeches.
5. When having maintenance done on your truck, your fleet mechanic tells you, “Brakes, siren or tires. Pick any two.”
4. The fire department saves all of the used cooking oil from the EMS Week fish fry for conversion to bio-diesel.
3. You’ve heard your managers refer to your trucks as rolling billboards numerous times, but you start your shift one day to discover that they have actually become rolling billboards. Now you promote job security of future EMTs by driving the #79 Anheuser Busch/Hardee's ambulance. And on the ceiling above the ambulance cot, there’s a decal that says, “If you can read this, you may be entitled to a substantial cash settlement! Call 1-800-SUE-THEM and we’ll get you paid!”
2. The local nursing home catches your operations manager lacing cans of Ensure with antifreeze, while muttering something about “needing more dialysis patients.”
1. Your new trainee paramedic looks suspiciously like the CEO of General Motors.
