This was the last thing I expected!

[Epi-do]

I had a long night at work last night, so I get home and take a nap. When I wake up there is a voice mail on the phone. I listen to it and the first part of it is cut off, so I don't have a clue who it is that called.

A little bit later, I check my cell phone and find a voicemail on it. Check the vm, and it is one of the guys from work. He wants me to call him. Also says he left a message on my home phone, so that mystery is solved.

I don't think a thing about it, and assume it has something to do with the ambulance.

I give him a call back, and boy was I wrong!!

After some very brief small talk, I ask him what is up, and the reply I get is, "Would you want to go out sometime?" My response was, "Excuse me?" He repeats himself, and asks if I would like to go on a date sometime.

The only thing I could think to say was, "I don't think my husband would approve of that." I was met with complete silence, followed by, "Sorry, I didn't know. I had no idea at all," and he quickly got off of the phone.

Now, for the record, he has been around when I have talked about my husband, so I am not sure what he thought that relationship was about. Furthermore, with the exception of this past week, I do wear my wedding ring at work. (I lost one of the smaller stones and had to have it replaced.) Leads me to believe that he isn't very bright, isn't very observant, or just doesn't care. After spending a small amount of time with the guy at shift change in the mornings, I feel pretty certain that it isn't the third one on that list.

I called my husband at work afterwards and told him about it. At least it gave him a good laugh.

 

[Ridryder911]

He may not be bright or really did not care or know. I know of many nurses and medics that talk about their spouses .. really mean their ex's and as well many I know wear a ring to decrease being hit upon. Then there are those that are married and that does not mean anything.

Since you were up-front and honest with him, hopefully nothing will progress. If it does make sure you report this. Sorry, he is no longer ignorant.

Glad your mate is able to chuckle and that was smart being honest with him as well.

R/r 911

 

[SwissEMT]

and as well many I know wear a ring to decrease being hit upon.

You ladie's man, you

 

[Epi-do]

You ladie's man, you

<--------Except I'm not a man....

Rid, I truly hope you are right about him not pushing the matter. He has already established a history with one of the other female employees of refusing to take no for an answer when he asked her out. He kept pursuing her, and it eventually resulted in a meeting between this guy, the girl he was chasing, her lt., and two cheifs. He was told to stop and things appeared to be ok. This was about 6 months ago. A month ago, he began asking her out again, telling her he wanted a long term relationship. Given his history, I am seriously considering mentioning the incident to my officer, so that if that phone call wasn't the end of it, at least it will be known when all of this started.

 

[Tincanfireman]

He has already established a history with one of the other female employees of refusing to take no for an answer

Given the circumstances, I'd think mentioning it to a supervisor might be prudent, along with recording the date you talked to the supervisor. If he continues to pester you, you'll have times/dates/names to fall back on in building a case against him. He might just be a goofball, but if he's got as "past" as you indicated, he could end up being a PITA to you and your family and co-workers. Good luck!

 

[Ridryder911]

I agree. Obviously, this jerk has not recognized that one should not mix business with pleasure. Keep detailed notes. The legality is whomever reports it first is exempt from counter charges. In other words, he could attempt to turn the event around if he feels that you might turn him in.

Since this is a recurrent event, then I would take action immediately. Sorry, that is life. He should had been more responsible and respectable to others.

God luck!

R/r 911

 

[MMiz]

This post personifies my experience in EMS. I think everyone knows a guy like the one you describe.

In my case the guy's name was "F---in" as in "There's no F---in way I'm working with him again.

 

[Epi-do]

So, I go into work today and I let my captain know about the incident, and he wasn't happy. He didn't know about the incident with the other female coworker, so after filling him in on that, he was even less happy about all of it. He assured me that it would be addressed and he would do what he could to ensure it didn't happen again.

After he talked to the battalion chief, the BC also talked to me about it. He told me to make sure and report any further incidents, but that at this time his hands are tied. Since the guy claims he didn't know I was married, at this point nothing can be done. I am ok with that, because I wasn't looking for this guy to be reprimanded or anything at this point. I just wanted the incident to be put on the record incase anything else happens.

I still find it hard to believe that he didn't know I was married - my husband's name is on the voicemail message (I know, he probably didn't pay any attention.) and I have made comments in his prescence about "my husband". If we were no longer married, it would have been "my ex" instead, so even though it has been suggested to me that he might have thought I was divorced, I don't buy it.

 

[Ridryder911]

Be sure to write down dates, times, etc. and exactly what was said and to whom, etc. Sorry, I doubt they didnt know about the previous incidence. As well, they have to take action if a complaint was filed. First, is to have the other person to be forewarned. Be sure to watch that there is no retaliation or further incidences.

I am glad you took action. If the guy was innocent, and not knowledgeable that would be a different stance, but as you described it was obvious.

Good luck,
R/r911

 

[Epi-do]

Since this guy and the other girl are both on a different shift, I can believe that my officer at the station level wasn't aware of the situation. He would have no reason to be. My BC was aware of the previous incident though and while he didn't elaborate about things, he did comment that this guy is already on thin ice.

I asked if I needed to write up any sort of incident report, and was told that at this time it wasn't necessary, but that if anything else were to happen I would have to include all of this in that report as well. Because of that, when I get home in the morning, I plan on typing something up and keeping it on my home computer while everything is fresh in my memory, for "Just in case."

I have talked with the other girl about it, and also gave her a call today to let her know where everything stands at the moment. I am guessing that at shift change in the morning this guy's officer will be made aware of the situation and something most likely will be said to this guy (again).

My intent with reporting it was more to make admin aware of this first incident with me, so that if it does become a problem we aren't starting at square one at that point. There is nothing that says he can't ask someone out on a date, so until it becomes a pattern with me they just can't do anything about it, especially since he claims he didn't know I wasn't available. I understand that, and really am ok with it. At this point, it was more of a CYA type situation for me.

 

[Tincanfireman]

Sounds like an excellent plan all around, and kudos to you for handling like you did. Just make sure you don't let him play the blame game when it gets back to him, i.e; "Why did you get me in trouble and cause such a fuss just because I asked you out? I didn't know you were married". Don't forget that he was the one who instigated the contact, and even back when I was dating I'd always ask around about a girl before I talked to her. If he was really interested, he should have made the effort to get to know you a little before asking you out. At the very least he's now aware that he is on the boss's radar and to watch his step.