wwrescueEMT
Forum Probie
- 11
- 0
- 0
A wise person once told me, "If you're meant to be in this field, doing this work, it will consume you. It will take over your life. It's all you'll think about and it's all you're ever going to want to talk about. If you're not meant to be here, you will leave. You either will leave the moment something really bad happens, or you will stick it through and leave at the end, broken and beaten."
I'm noticing this more and more these days. All I ever think about, all I ever want to do is be in the back of the ambulance running full-tilt at 3am. It's like an addiction, once you get a taste, you want more. I work for a volunteer department in the city where i'm going to college, and if i'm not in class, i'm probably on call. Then, as if that and studying weren't enough, I decided to join a full-time department as a part-time EMT on the weekends.
The wierdest thing i've noticed so far is how distant i'm getting from the things that used to seem to matter. When you're beginning in EMS, sometimes it feels like you're living two lives. One as a "normal" person, you go home to your friends and famililes and you act how you always have (maybe you're the goofball whom nobody ever takes seriously), and the other you live in a world filled with excitement that requires quick minds and lots of logical problem solving. The longer I live in the second, the more I notice that the first is getting smaller and smaller. I don't really have anything to talk about with my old friends, because they don't understand what it is we go through (for example, after my very first death, nobody understood how I could be crying over someone I didn't even know existed 15 minutes before I was kneeling at his side) and ...I don't really have anything else to talk about. ...and there's only so many times that you can listen to your friend complain about how much she likes so-and-so but can't tell him for such-and-such a reason.
Relationships are tough for us I think, or maybe it's because I don't have enough practice with it yet, but the relationships that we share with our fellow EMTs are essential. I'm incredibly grateful for my friends who are EMTs, firefighters and police officers...I don't know how I would have made it through some of the tougher calls had they not been there. The difference is, you know that no matter what goes down, even if you say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing, in the end you know that they've got your back...whether they like you or not, they're there.
P.S. I like to ramble on about subjects.
Has anyone else ever noticed anything like this?
I'm noticing this more and more these days. All I ever think about, all I ever want to do is be in the back of the ambulance running full-tilt at 3am. It's like an addiction, once you get a taste, you want more. I work for a volunteer department in the city where i'm going to college, and if i'm not in class, i'm probably on call. Then, as if that and studying weren't enough, I decided to join a full-time department as a part-time EMT on the weekends.
The wierdest thing i've noticed so far is how distant i'm getting from the things that used to seem to matter. When you're beginning in EMS, sometimes it feels like you're living two lives. One as a "normal" person, you go home to your friends and famililes and you act how you always have (maybe you're the goofball whom nobody ever takes seriously), and the other you live in a world filled with excitement that requires quick minds and lots of logical problem solving. The longer I live in the second, the more I notice that the first is getting smaller and smaller. I don't really have anything to talk about with my old friends, because they don't understand what it is we go through (for example, after my very first death, nobody understood how I could be crying over someone I didn't even know existed 15 minutes before I was kneeling at his side) and ...I don't really have anything else to talk about. ...and there's only so many times that you can listen to your friend complain about how much she likes so-and-so but can't tell him for such-and-such a reason.
Relationships are tough for us I think, or maybe it's because I don't have enough practice with it yet, but the relationships that we share with our fellow EMTs are essential. I'm incredibly grateful for my friends who are EMTs, firefighters and police officers...I don't know how I would have made it through some of the tougher calls had they not been there. The difference is, you know that no matter what goes down, even if you say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing, in the end you know that they've got your back...whether they like you or not, they're there.
P.S. I like to ramble on about subjects.
Has anyone else ever noticed anything like this?