Ideas of New "Laws"

MMiz

MMiz

I put the M in EMTLife
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After working in EMS for a while, I believe the following laws should be adoped:
  • All people weighing more than 300 lbs must sleep on the first floor
  • Address signs should be large and visible from the street at night
  • There should be three times during the day that no person is allowed to have a medical emergency: breakfast, lunch, and dinner
  • Spiral staircases are to be outlawed
  • Those who are determined to just stop their cars in the middle of the road as we approach RLS, must also stay in that exact spot for 1 hour. I don't think motorists are as nice as we are
Any more?
 
Anyone that calls at "Oh dark thirty" in the morning with a BS call (stubbed toe, fever, etc...) should be required to be placed in full spinal precautions and get an NG tube and catheter at the hospital.
 
Originally posted by ffemt8978@Oct 10 2004, 12:51 AM
Anyone that calls at "Oh dark thirty" in the morning with a BS call (stubbed toe, fever, etc...) should be required to be placed in full spinal precautions and get an NG tube and catheter at the hospital.
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LOVE it

Just last week we had a call CC CP.. pt told dispatch it was pain level of a 8...

now this is at the exact point in my dream were i was ... never mind.. anyways the pager goes off .. I get up.. were are my shoes.. head to the squad ... half way there.. pager does off again.. all units disreguard... pt has called back..( with a giggle in the voice of dispatch) states she has burped and is "all better now"...
after about 15 min my head is back on the pillow.. were did that dream go..

when ya call like that.. you should get a ride to the ER .. with everything thing stuck into you that can be found in the rig..

the a $100. fine for .... DD.. in the 1st degree = dream displacement
 
The old rule of my rig

"All patients will be transported to the nearest capable ER (some local hospitals can't admit psych/SI because of the lack of a psyche ward, can't do rape kits, or can't deal with an increase in ICP), regardless of personal regard for the hospital, the only exceptions will be granted for patients with pre-existing conditions that may (in my prehospital opinion) need to be admitted, and are BLS stable!"

This rule caused quite a few feathers to be ruffled, however, I refused to budge on this issue, as I am the professional, and they called me, I didn't decide to come to their home and convince them to go to the hospital.
 
If you are a 300lb person, please select an appropriately sized vehicle to drive--especially if you are going to wreck it.
If you are complaining of tooth pain, the accompanying pathetic limp is not necessary.
Do not look at me and say "I'm having a seizure" during an oscar winning performance.
Please note: EMS taxi fees--$350 flag, $1.50 per mile
 
Please note: EMS taxi fees--$350 flag, $1.50 per mile
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You obviously don't work in private EMS :D $1.50 per mile? Come on now, that's just crazy! Try $10 :lol:
 
Another rule of the Rig:

Don't tell me your afraid of blood/needles and then fake passing out. Your acting sucks and I will laugh at you!!!
 
Originally posted by crash@Oct 12 2004, 08:17 PM
If you are a 300lb person, please select an appropriately sized vehicle to drive--especially if you are going to wreck it.
If you are complaining of tooth pain, the accompanying pathetic limp is not necessary.
Do not look at me and say "I'm having a seizure" during an oscar winning performance.
Please note: EMS taxi fees--$350 flag, $1.50 per mile
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LOL, im a big guy, 6'3" 265, and in medic class we were working on extractions and KED. The instructor has a sick sence of humor and put me in the back seat of a VW Jetta, and made the smaller students rapidly extricate me. It was quite a sight, but they did it with out too much neck movement. I was impressed.

BTW, I drive a pick up with room enough in the back for someone to hold C spine should I ever be in a crash.

Russ
 
OK, this isn't EMS, but had to share.

"Thou shalt not call 911 because your neighbor is BBQing." :angry:

We went on the same BBQ twice last night, once toned out as "smoke in the area" (OK, I can buy that) and once as a "vegetation fire" (if you don't see vegetation burning, don't call it in as such).

Sorry, just had to get that off my chest, especially since I made record time getting the ambulance back in service for the vegetation fire call only to get cancelled before we left the ER.
 
If you call in an automobile accident, you shall remain on scene to direct us there.

We just got back from a reported single vehicle, rollover MVA with the vehicle reportedly in a ravine. The calling party observed the "accident" from over 1/2 mile a way, using binoculars.

Turns out it was just some people dumping trash and doing some hill climbing in the 4x4, and they were gone before we got there.
 
How about:

If you think you're having a severe asthma attack, go to the ED, not the pharmacy at Target!

There's never a dull moment with me - I was filling a prescription at Target this afternoon when I noticed a girl coughing and breathing heavy. Looked like she had a severe cold. Then I hear the pharmacist frantically calling 911. Turns out she was having an asthma attack. Oops. So I introduce myself and ask if they have O2. She says no. I asked if she'd like me to get mine from the car. I ended up giving O2, taking vitals, getting my BVM ready (she was on the verge of passing out) and waiting until my buddies showed up (I was in my district). The pharmacist was eternally grateful. So was I - I thought the pt was going to pass out and need to be bagged... and I had no drugs on me so there wasn't much I could do to prevent that except try to force her to take deep breaths.

I ended up getting my prescription for free :D
 
what... no neb treatment???? :( they have all the equipment to do that at a Pharmacy sans O2 but you had that covered.

I loved the anaphalaxis at the pharmacy that I worked at. Pt got stung by a be and then decided that it would be a good idea to get their Epi-pen refilled. I had just finished EMT classes at the time, prioritized their script when I saw that they had passed out. What fun.
 
Originally posted by PArescueEMT@Oct 14 2004, 01:26 AM
what... no neb treatment???? :( they have all the equipment to do that at a Pharmacy sans O2 but you had that covered.
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Well... technically, the pharmacist doesnt have the ability to give out a neb treatment without a prescription and I don't have the ability to administer it unless it as a CC unless it comes from my stuff, and I only carry BLS in my car (too expensive for the Dept to get a monitor for every ALS provider and you need that for ALS in my state).

I called into HQ and gave a report to the dispatcher that she relayed to the medic - he had the combi treatment put together as he walked through the door so it wasn't delayed too much.
 
Here are just a few - I have many, but too sleepy right now -_-

** If you pretend to be unconscious, then I will treat you as though you are unconscious and you REALLY won't like it!!

** If you pretend to be unconscious and an ammonia cap is broken somewhere around head - don't get mad at me.
(are you sensing a theme here? :P )

** If you call 911 in the middle of the night, and then think you can talk on your cell phone while I wait for you - your phone will be confiscated and returned to you when I am done with my "customer service".

** If you are not sick or injured and you call 911 to have a witness to your story for an alleged lawsuit, paramedics have sporadic amnesia and will be unable to help you in your case. Do not call on them to testify in court if you interrupt their beauty sleep.

** If you see a big vehicle behind you with flashing lights and sirens blaring, don't stop suddenly in front of it, don't try to race that big vehicle and certainly don't try to ignore it - I know you see me!

Jeez - I could go on & on......until later! :ph34r:
 
:o

I see that Firechic's returned with a vengence. :D
Welcome back, we missed you.
 
Awe! Hi ffemt8978!!
Yes, I've been busy visiting the folks on Long Island and burying my head in nursing books.......
I go on shift tomorrow...let's see what other laws I can come up with! :P
 
one question -

Rescuecapt - Why do you carry O2 in you vehicle or are you driving a departmental vehicle? Just asking, I had never heard of that in a personal vehicle.

Now here are some of my rules - If you fall off a bar stool, hoping that the bartender will call 911, and you don't have to pay the tab - I will let the cops question you for your information!!!

Do not do CPR on people that are breathing and have a pulse - thats assault. And I will refer you to the police, no matter how many CPR classes you have taken.

If you are a nurse - do not come up to me while I am doing patient care and say "I really think that you need to be doing this i.e. putting a bandaid somewhere instead of bagging them". I will not so kindly tell you to scurry back to whatever nursing home you came from!!!!

Do not ask me to move my Emergency vehicle while I am on a call, so that you can go somewhere i.e. grocery shop, joy ride or whatever, if I am blocking you. I am parked there for a reason and all of the ugly looks in the world will only cause me to be on scene longer. lol

I believe that anyone who calls us ambulance drivers should be double billed for all services. One bill for the provider in the back and one for the high paid "ambulance driver" with a degree in the front. Hmm, I wonder if Medicare would go for that one!!!
 
Originally posted by Margaritaville@Oct 17 2004, 08:36 AM
one question -

Rescuecapt - Why do you carry O2 in you vehicle or are you driving a departmental vehicle? Just asking, I had never heard of that in a personal vehicle.
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The SOPs for my FD Rescue Squad dictate that the Rescue Captain and Rescue Lt carry O2 and a BLS bag and reply straight to scene on every Sig 16 (medical/trauma). We go to the FD for fires and other non-medical emergencies.
 
Thanks for the reply Rescuecapt.

Sounds pretty handy. Thats some sharp forethought on your departments part. Good Job!!

Margaritaville (where its cool to be a parrothead!!) B)
 
I believe that anyone who calls us ambulance drivers should be double billed for all services. One bill for the provider in the back and one for the high paid "ambulance driver" with a degree in the front. Hmm, I wonder if Medicare would go for that one!!!
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If Medicare did go for it, you know that they would come up with a new form (or two or three or four hundred) to fill out! ;)
 
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