I had my first fatal crash (while actually on duty)

Hockey

Hockey

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Just had that feeling and knew I was overdue today. Got the call and pull up on scene and its just a nasty mess. 2 vehicle PI. One vehicle rolled over 1 entrapped semi-conscious, one under the hood of the car with feet just sticking out crushed (had pulse but weak). You could hear that pt saying something to the effect of call mom tell her I love her. I'm sure you all know what happens when you lift something off someone. We take the semi-conscious one. Out in the rural area of our county.


As I was going down the ditch hill, I slid on some snow and fell in the mud. Covered myself in mud but didn't bother me (other then I just threw this uniform set on not more than 10 mins prior to the call (washing clothes) )

I've had 2 fatals before while driving (one being a small kid which bothers me still somewhat)

I was talking to my partner earlier and we were talking about things that may bother us and one thing I said was if I ever have a fatal with someone that is right around my age for some reason really gets to me even when just reading about it.

As I said earlier in the post, the small kid still bothers me, but I didn't have direct care over any of the patients at that scene as I did with this one. Maybe that's why its affected me more?

Either way, now that I have gone through this, I can now say, I wish to not ever have another one of these. Theres not one bit of fun in these types of calls. The K was the driver and the passenger's boyfriend. I just cannot imagine what she is going to go through when she finds out.

I was going to pick a shift up tomorrow but decided to take the day off and go see my family since I haven't seen them much lately....
 
That is a good idea to take the day off. You sound like the type of person that might need a little time to gather themselves after a call like that. Take the time and spend it with your family. It will do you some good. Good luck.
 
emtfarva said:
That is a good idea to take the day off. You sound like the type of person that might need a little time to gather themselves after a call like that. Take the time and spend it with your family. It will do you some good. Good luck.
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You know, usually I can handle calls just fine. I guess I just had to break in my first one.

Worst part was the kid (not much older then them) that hit the couple (ran a stop sign) admitted to having at least 10 beers to the deputy. Just got out of jail too not too long ago...

Nothing they could have done. I take that way home from the north station and I thought that the intersection was a bad place just waiting for something to happen.
 
The way I look at it: We all die. I could die while I am typing this. If it is my time, it's my time. That is the way I look at it. It's cold, I know. Now I don't know how you must feel, I haven't had a fatal yet, but my grandmother just passed in October. She had dementia and I was kind of happy in a way for her. She is in a better place, I think, and she is with my grandfather and her sister. I guess I might look at death a little bit different than most people. I hope I am this strong when I happen upon my first fatal. Hopefully that will never happen, but I doubt it. :rolleyes:
 
You know I could just go to the bar and take care of all my thoughts






Just kidding people ;)
 
Etoh doesn't solve anything it just makes it very drunk. It will still be there when you get sober. But if you are in the company of good friends It can't hurt. Just try not to drown you sorrows, you just end up drowning yourself.


Ah, Screw it, have one for me....................................................................... :)
 
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Your elderly grandmother who had dementia, and a kid killed being ejected from his car, and then having it land on him, could not be more different from each other. No offense.

Your first fatal will always be with you. You will always remember it. unfortunatley if you stay in EMs long enough you will do a number of these.
 
CAOX3 said:
Your elderly grandmother who had dementia, and a kid killed being ejected from his car, and then having it land on him, could not be more different from each other. No offense.
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You're right, losing your grandma is worse.
 
It's a good idea Hockey to take the day off. Go relax with the family, get your mind off the call. If it gets to be too much for you remember to go and talk to someone. Don't let that all build up inside or it will kill you. My first fatal was a rollover with an ejected 4 y/o female. We worked her for a bit but then the medics called it. It bothered me for a while but you just learn to move on.
 
Haven't had a fatal yet. I have seen a dead person during clinicals. No trauma yet so I am a little concerned about how I may handle it. I have to try to be strong because you don't want the patient to see you all worried etc.
 
Sounds as if you handled yourself very well. Glad to hear you gave appropriate care/triage to the pt who would benefit the most. Good job. You're certainly entitled to the next day off if you still have concerns. Make sure you get paid for it, and perhaps CISD if this forum and family/friends aren't enough.
 
No way around it. It just sucks! We train to be able to help and when there's nothing we can do, it is frustrating on so many levels. Give yourself time and patience. It feels rotten because it is rotten. Feeling rotten is merely a sign of being human. And don't put off seeking some professional help if it goes on too long or becomes too difficult to handle
 
This job can be so cruel sometimes, I think it is good that you are talking about it and processing what had happened. I do know my thoughts are with you today........-_-
 
I would highly suggest you go ahead and work. Taking the day off will leave that call fresh in your mind. Better to get back on the horse and ride. Longer the wait the more thoughts and fears will nag you.

My first EMS trauma death. Was a wreck 6 patients at least. I had my patient plus more in the ambulance. Second amulance arrived an hour later so they took the ones my partner was taking care outside the ambulance. We head to the hospital. My primary patient codes while taking his blood pressure. Do a brief code, but other patients vitals are crashing and you can hear the gurgling in one of their breaths. So had to discontinue code and move on to hopefully keep the others alive. Lost two off that call. I think the best thing that happened is we had at least 30 more hours w/o leaving the ambulance. It was probably the busiest 48 hour shift this rural service ever saw. But I had no choice but to get back in the sadle and go. And I worked multiple serious wrecks and even had a doa on that shift.

I left that shift an immediatly went to my other EMS shift and worked.

Idle minds will screw you up.
 
The title is odd. I thought you were in a fatal accident while on duty, not responding to a fatal accident.

I have had several fatal accidents. They don't seem to bother me. I guess this is because I see them as someone else's emergency. I have some sort of emotional disconnect from it.
 
firecoins said:
The title is odd. I thought you were in a fatal accident while on duty, not responding to a fatal accident.

I have had several fatal accidents. They don't seem to bother me. I guess this is because I see them as someone else's emergency. I have some sort of emotional disconnect from it.
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That comes with experience. You don't automatically know how to disconnect yourself from your patients and their emergencies and until you master that it can really bug the heck out of you.
 
Sasha said:
That comes with experience. You don't automatically know how to disconnect yourself from your patients and their emergencies and until you master that it can really bug the heck out of you.
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For some reason I don't remeber ever being "freaked out" but I am sure I was. I perform much better in these situations now than I did even a year ago so you must be right.
 
I had to pull a guy out of his car (DOA for me) from a wreak that happend about an hour and a half before (they took him and the car to the city shop for extraction, guess they couldnt do it on scene) I dont know if this is what ya'll are calling a "fatal" but it didnt bother me one bit.

The guy hit the steering wheel so hard and so fast the airbag didnt even deploy.
 
Don't know what to tell you.

My first MVA fatality was unmarked, C1 fx from high speed impact on other side of her big old steel stationwagon which threw it onto the lawn by a high curb. Dead upon OUR arrival. (I've mentioned this one before).

One bothered me but mostly years later, when I had kids of my own. A twelve year old took Dad's .357 and his ten year old brother, took out five cartridges (yes, it was kept wtih six in cylinder), and lost on the first pull of Russian Roulette, dispersing about 1/8 of his head around the trailer's kitchenette and indirectly, in the gloom, onto our kits, our knees, etc. He was agonally alive until we turned him over, then shut down.

A member of one of my Guard units shot herself the evening of the Saturday of a drill weekend in an old, rarely frequented tile and granite restroom. That one was just plain sad.

Focus down, do the job, don't invest yourself into outcomes or identify with patients, focus on doing the steps and the assessments right and the outcomes will follow.
 
Thanks for the advice everyone and sharing and I know it won't be the last for sure.

I asked my partner how I did on scene since this was the worst MVA I've had and he said I did great (minus the falling!). I figure if I don't do it, nobody else is going to so do it and get it over with. It was after the call I realized just how bad everything was
 
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