having major class anxiety.

[Cody1911]

Hey everyone. I'm on my Mobile so I am very sorry if my grammar isn't great. I am having some pre class anxiety. Class hasn't started yet and I actually had a panic attack today. Honestly, I have horrible anxiety. I have general anxiety disorder since I was a kid. I am 22 now. I have been on meds and do not like them. They make it worse honestly. Panic attacks are the worst... I don't know if any of you have had them. The funny thing is some days I am just fine. Every once in a while I have a bad day. This really is my dream and I don't want to stop going after this. I did EMT class a year ago and got so stressed I had to quot class. My body broke into hives etc. I actually went to the ER. Here's the thing... I seem specialists... I have done CBT. I have been on over 20 meds my whole life. They simply don't work. I even tried marijuana once upon a time ago... It was medical marijuana and they said it could relax me. Ended up in the ER with a pulse rate of 180. Worst panic attack I had in my life. I'm surprised I have never given up or ended up doing drugs. I pat myself on the back for that.

People often ask me how I can volunteer for a fire dept with what I have. Honestly? I love the ems side of it so much... That when I get toned out for a call I stop thinking. Not completely... But I have a priority, and I love helping people. Funniest thing... Everyone I meet says they would never of guessed I had an anxiety disorder. I hide it so well. I can be on scenes and do what needs to be done no problem. In fact a lot of the full time guys have told me how well I do on calls and are excited for me going to class.

I'm worried about class... The material is not what bothers me its the social anxiety etc. With patients though? I'm fine...

I don't understand. I really want this but I am really anxious about class starting up. I'm already on chapter 8 in my book because I had my books from my last class before. I'm ahead of the game. Nobody else has their books yet even. It's a month long class so its quicker compared to the 4 month. I keep over thinking things. "What I'd Ido this" "what if I mess up on my clinical stuff... "What if I do this...." I mean it doesn't stop. I keep going over scenarios in my head.

I have been on so many calls... I have seen some brutal things... I know I can do the job. It's this social anxiety and worrying about the class itself. It's eating me alive.

Do you guys have any tips for class? Were you anxious going in? Last time I was like the only type b personality in the class. Everyone else was a type A so I just felt... Kinda like an outcast.

I was just wondering if any of you could give me some thoughts about what I can do in class and stuff to ease the anxiety. This class means the world to me.

 

[Anjel]

Calm down. Lol

In all seriousness it's something you are gonna have to get over. There is nothing to be anxious about. You say you are fine with patients. Then it's silly to be anxious over just learning.

Nothing we tell you here is going to be new. If you have been dealing with this your whole life, then you have probably heard it all. It's gonna come down to motivation. If it is something that you really really want, you will make it happen.

Don't think of all the times you have panicked before. Just take it one day, one quiz, and one test at a time. We are all here if you need help or start to feel overwhelmed.

 

[Cody1911]

I sure appeciate it anjel. Lol yeah I have heard it all... I even get the "everyone has panic attacks" thing too. Ah man it frustrates me. They really are awful. I have learned to stop thembefore they get crazy. So thats a plus... I just wish I could stop worrying about the smallest things. My brain... It never stops. Its like 200mph all the time.

 

[Wheel]

I think if you're good with patients, good with coworkers, and comfortable with the material, then you will be just fine. You just have to remember that you can and do handle yourself on a daily basis. I have a family member who is much like you and nothing anyone tells her makes it any better. What I can say though is that it seems like you are smart and motivated, and I wish you luck as you continue with your journey. Obstacles are meant to be overcome.

Feel free to private message me if you have any problems in your program or just in general. I hope this goes well for you.

Edit: also, people who say everyone has panic attacks have never had one. When you have so much anxiety that you hyperventilate and pass out is much different than just worrying periodically, and I know that can be terrifying.

 

[Arovetli]

Relax bro,

ill tell you a secret, you aren't the first person in healthcare, or EMS, to struggle with anxiety or panic disorders, or even depression, or other issues.

Some of the smartest, best, most successful folks in the world do.

High functioning people tend to malfunction a bit when they are not in challenging, stressful, intense environments that engage all their senses and force their mind to think. This may be why you are drawn to first responder type jobs.

Have you read up on ADHD/ADD research, specifically Low Arousal Theory?
I think there are alot of folks who just crave more stimulation and sensory input than normal...and when they dont get it they can slide into depression and anxiety. I know for me, in normal situations Im bored and easily distracted, but in an urgent or stressful situation, everything slows and I think clear as glass.

Social anxiety is very real..but you know, people dont view each other half as harshly as we tend to view ourselves.

Being introverted, hyperactive, and occasionally insane is nothing to be ashamed about, and certainly hasnt held me back one bit. Youll be fine.

 

[Cody1911]

Thank you all so much...

I really love these forums. Everyone is very nice and laid back. I've actually learned a lot here just by browsing too. I'm going to keep at it for sure! I am already signed up for the class and ready to go.

Wheel- Thank you so much for your kind words.
And yeah I have had a lot of people say things like "suck it up everyone has anxiety" I used to lose my hearing briefly and my vision and hyperventilate daily in middle school. Daily... I remember... It was the end of my middle school years and the fire dept kept running on me lol. I was kind of a frequent flyer. It actually helped me in the long run though because I got to know them personally. I have grown out of them mostly now because I know it's a panic attack... and I can reverse them. It's not always easy but I won't give up. Thanks again wheel... It means a lot.

Arovetli- "Have you read up on ADHD/ADD research, specifically Low Arousal Theory?
I think there are alot of folks who just crave more stimulation and sensory input than normal...and when they dont get it they can slide into depression and anxiety. I know for me, in normal situations Im bored and easily distracted, but in an urgent or stressful situation, everything slows and I think clear as glass."

That sounds exactly like me! I'm going to look that up right now before I doze of to sleep. Thank you so much man! That's why I never understood it... Sometimes I will be watching a sitcom laughing and all of a sudden I get an impending doom feeling. And at that moment I am not even worried about anything. It gets so old, but like I said I refuse to give up. My ER doc told me that they know almost nothing about anxiety, and all that stuff. He was the coolest guy. I'll never forget when I went in I said alright... I got chest pain, I am belching every 10 seconds, I am lightheaded, I had about 15 symptoms at once. When he told me it was stress I was amazed. I didn't know when your body stresses out to it's peak that all that could happen.

You're all great... I really enjoy it here. I am gonna go catch some z's I got to study some more tomorrow.

Thanks again everyone.
It means a lot.
-Cody

 

[RocketMedic]

Cody, you think too hard. Relax.

 

[Marques951]

I went through the same thing. Although I did not have a anxiety issue, I do get anxiety/nervous. It happens to everyone. Once you get in class and meet some people, it goes away. It is because you are comfortable with your surroundings. I can almost guarantee you by the end of your first week, you will be fine and not have any issues. One thing about the EMT program, it definitely makes you come out of your shell and gets you over any shyness you may have.

 

[ghost02]

Do you guys think paranoid delusional disorder with anxiety will be an issue? Mine is VERY well controlled now.

 

[Cody1911]

Do you guys think paranoid delusional disorder with anxiety will be an issue? Mine is VERY well controlled now.

Ghost are you referring to me? I am fine now. I am on call tonight actually.

 

[ghost02]

Referring to myself, Cody.