firetender
Community Leader Emeritus
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Honesty and Door-Openers.
If you really look over a person, I mean really look at what's there, somewhere on them -- it can be clothing, personal belongings, jewelry, even an expression in the moment or a movement -- you will find something that interests you. It can be related to the person's complaints of the moment or have only to do with stuff that makes them different from you.
Comment on it and then ask something to learn more;
"That's an unusual necklace, where did you find that?"
(DON'T ask about expensive jewelry, they'll think you're casing them!)
"Your slippers remind me of ones I had as a kid. Were they a gift or did you buy them for yourself?"
"You grimaced. Did I jostle something sensitive?"
Since you're a medic, why not ask about a fairly benign scar?
The point is, something that honestly interests you AND opens the door for the person to speak about themselves, as mentioned earlier in the thread.
If you really look over a person, I mean really look at what's there, somewhere on them -- it can be clothing, personal belongings, jewelry, even an expression in the moment or a movement -- you will find something that interests you. It can be related to the person's complaints of the moment or have only to do with stuff that makes them different from you.
Comment on it and then ask something to learn more;
"That's an unusual necklace, where did you find that?"
(DON'T ask about expensive jewelry, they'll think you're casing them!)
"Your slippers remind me of ones I had as a kid. Were they a gift or did you buy them for yourself?"
"You grimaced. Did I jostle something sensitive?"
Since you're a medic, why not ask about a fairly benign scar?
The point is, something that honestly interests you AND opens the door for the person to speak about themselves, as mentioned earlier in the thread.