Emt partner

Idontevenknow

Forum Ride Along
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I just started working for this 911 company. about a month ago I started on the field with my partner. One my first day I met him and I told him this my first day off training and his facial expression changed in a bad way made me feel discouraged. He is a nice quiet younger guy but sometimes he makes smart remarks. I’m obviously new this my first emt job so I don’t know everything. At first he really didn’t help at first unless I asked him but now he tells me what to do all the time. Even when I’m doing patient care he takes over and I feel like I’m his assistant. He also messes up my routine. One time we had an AMA (refusal) and he told me to go cancel fire as they pull up but I’m the one who is supposed to be getting patient information since I’m the one with iPad. I didn’t get patients demographics because I was explaining to fire the situation. How come he didn’t go do that. He messed up my routine and report. I know I should be the one getting all the info but he tells me what to do and I am naive and scared chicken still since I’m new. I’m started to get frustrated because he does everything for me. He calls all the shots and I feel like I can’t learn on my own. Everytime I mess up he makes me feel dumb, he listens to my radio report to the hospital and makes me nervous and he literally tells me what to say and I mess up and look stupid and I start stuttering. When I do it alone I’m fine. When we go to a call he starts asking questions for example to the nurse while I’m talking to the patient and then I’ll ask the nurse and she tells me she already gave the report and I didn’t hear it so I ask him and he barely tells me anything. At this point I feel like I’m doing everything wrong, I feel discouraged and dumb and incapable of doing the job, self doubting myself. Im tired of feeling incompetent. I wish I had a new partner I would probably be a better emt. Or do I need to grow some and just don’t pay attention to him. What should I do?
 

mgr22

Forum Deputy Chief
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I see you're 28, which means you probably have lots of experience dealing with conflict. I suggest you go back to those basics, e.g.:

- Communicate. You and your partner(s) should discuss whatever's bothering either of you.
- Evaluate. Are there things you can try doing differently on the job without compromising your safety, principles, responsibilities, etc.?
- Plan. How do you feel about EMS in general? Do you want to try something else? If so, what steps would you have to take to get there?

Focus on what you can do, not what you want others to do for you.

You're young. You're not locked into one occupation. You have plenty of time to try different things or to work on improving your fit in EMS. A big part of that would be embracing flexibility and tolerance. Sometimes, getting along means going along.
 

CCCSD

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Have you spoken to him about it? Lay it out and go over who has what responsibilities.
 

Aprz

Non flying critical care flight attendant
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Personally, I wouldn't talk to him about it. I feel like it is an unnecessary awkward conversation that can worsen the situation. Talking to him is essentially putting it on him to change. What I think needs to change is you.

First, just make sure you're being nice and try to smile. Smiling helps.

Then the way you need to change is think about what your position is. This is your scene. Not his scene. Not the patient's scene. Take control of it. If he tells you to cancel fire. Are you the lead? He can recommend it, if that inconvenience you, you need to take control "I got the iPad and about to get the patient's demographic. Can you do it for me?" Something like that.

Same for the report. Who is giving report? Him or you. It is your report. You give it. Don't worry much about what he thinks about it. On top of all that, everyone has different style. You could give the best report eva, but it is not his style, he might not like it. So what? He gives his reports. You give yours. Listen to recommendations, take the good of what he tells you, and be open, but it is ultimately your report.

Again, your the lead. The nurse gave report to him and he is only giving you half the info? Make sure to ask the questions you ask the nurse and if he can't answee it, don't leave yet. Put your tail between your legs, go back to that nurse, and say "I'm sorry if you already told my partner this, but this is what I need", "I don't understand this", etc.. Don't leave until you are ready to leave with the patient. You gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done.

It is on you to change to make work comfortablec for you. I don't think your problems will get better if you tell him your problems with him. You can control the situation with these simple recommendation and change in thought process. Your scene, not his. Your report, not his. Start taking control.
 

CCCSD

Forum Deputy Chief
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I’ve worked with quite a few partners and if we had issues, we discussed them and fixed it. Not addressing issues is a sure way to failure. But I’m sure Gen whatever know better than experience…
 

Aprz

Non flying critical care flight attendant
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I’ve worked with quite a few partners and if we had issues, we discussed them and fixed it. Not addressing issues is a sure way to failure. But I’m sure Gen whatever know better than experience…
Gen whatever? What the heck is that?
 
OP
OP
Idontevenknow

Idontevenknow

Forum Ride Along
4
0
1
I see you're 28, which means you probably have lots of experience dealing with conflict. I suggest you go back to those basics, e.g.:

- Communicate. You and your partner(s) should discuss whatever's bothering either of you.
- Evaluate. Are there things you can try doing differently on the job without compromising your safety, principles, responsibilities, etc.?
- Plan. How do you feel about EMS in general? Do you want to try something else? If so, what steps would you have to take to get there?

Focus on what you can do, not what you want others to do for you.

You're young. You're not locked into one occupation. You have plenty of time to try different things or to work on improving your fit in EMS. A big part of that would be embracing flexibility and tolerance. Sometimes, getting along means going along.
Unfortunately this partner I have is a popular guy in the company. I would love to communicate and be mature about it but I can definitely tell he has been talking behind my back to other emts. How everyone treats me feels like high school drama. He is a immature kid. It will go one ear and out the other just from working with him in the month. He cares less what I have to say most of the time. I’ll strike up a conversation and he is quiet staying busy on his phone. You’re definitely right about having options but honestly don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried taking the career quiz online and it keeps going back to nursing. I’ve tried the nursing and it wasn’t for me.
 
OP
OP
Idontevenknow

Idontevenknow

Forum Ride Along
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1
Personally, I wouldn't talk to him about it. I feel like it is an unnecessary awkward conversation that can worsen the situation. Talking to him is essentially putting it on him to change. What I think needs to change is you.

First, just make sure you're being nice and try to smile. Smiling helps.

Then the way you need to change is think about what your position is. This is your scene. Not his scene. Not the patient's scene. Take control of it. If he tells you to cancel fire. Are you the lead? He can recommend it, if that inconvenience you, you need to take control "I got the iPad and about to get the patient's demographic. Can you do it for me?" Something like that.

Same for the report. Who is giving report? Him or you. It is your report. You give it. Don't worry much about what he thinks about it. On top of all that, everyone has different style. You could give the best report eva, but it is not his style, he might not like it. So what? He gives his reports. You give yours. Listen to recommendations, take the good of what he tells you, and be open, but it is ultimately your report.

Again, your the lead. The nurse gave report to him and he is only giving you half the info? Make sure to ask the questions you ask the nurse and if he can't answee it, don't leave yet. Put your tail between your legs, go back to that nurse, and say "I'm sorry if you already told my partner this, but this is what I need", "I don't understand this", etc.. Don't leave until you are ready to leave with the patient. You gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done.

It is on you to change to make work comfortablec for you. I don't think your problems will get better if you tell him your problems with him. You can control the situation with these simple recommendation and change in thought process. Your scene, not his. Your report, not his. Start taking control.
You’re absolutely right. I have to take control I just felt like my confidence got taken away ever since I started working with him. It’s hard to get it back. I been trying really hard. He makes me feel so dumb I don’t understand.
 
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OP
Idontevenknow

Idontevenknow

Forum Ride Along
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I’ve worked with quite a few partners and if we had issues, we discussed them and fixed it. Not addressing issues is a sure way to failure. But I’m sure Gen whatever know better than experience…
My partner is very immature and can careless what I have to say. I’ve tried striking up a conversation and he just stays quiet being on his phone. He definitely has started talking behind my back to other emts because how others treat me. It literally feels like high school. I would to be mature and have an adult conversation with the kid but he does not care only about himself.
 

mgr22

Forum Deputy Chief
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Unfortunately this partner I have is a popular guy in the company. I would love to communicate and be mature about it but I can definitely tell he has been talking behind my back to other emts. How everyone treats me feels like high school drama. He is a immature kid. It will go one ear and out the other just from working with him in the month. He cares less what I have to say most of the time. I’ll strike up a conversation and he is quiet staying busy on his phone. You’re definitely right about having options but honestly don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried taking the career quiz online and it keeps going back to nursing. I’ve tried the nursing and it wasn’t for me.
You'll find high-school drama and people talking behind your back wherever you go, whatever you do. Have you considered ignoring all that? Take pride in being the mature one. Do your job. Specialize in setting good examples and giving good advice. Over time, others will respect you for that.
 

FiremanMike

Just a dude
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I’ve worked with quite a few partners and if we had issues, we discussed them and fixed it. Not addressing issues is a sure way to failure. But I’m sure Gen whatever know better than experience…
Damn dude - you’ve been extra spicy lately.. you good?
 

VentMonkey

Family Guy
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Damn dude - you’ve been extra spicy lately.. you good?
Too much Tapatillo in the diet, bruh….

In all seriousness, @mgr22 hit the nail on the head. Nothing new.

Take the higher road, aka, the road less traveled. Really, it’s a personal choice//shrugs//…
 

DrParasite

The fire extinguisher is not just for show
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Can we get a little more context from @Idontevenknow... is there a duel EMT truck? or EMT/Medic? I'm thinking the former....


I have some question about your initial post:
One my first day I met him and I told him this my first day off training and his facial expression changed in a bad way made me feel discouraged. He is a nice quiet younger guy but sometimes he makes smart remarks. I’m obviously new this my first emt job so I don’t know everything.
fair enough, and common
At first he really didn’t help at first unless I asked him but now he tells me what to do all the time.
Just like you are feeling him out, he's seeing what you know, and how you run the call.
Even when I’m doing patient care he takes over and I feel like I’m his assistant. He also messes up my routine.
You're a new EMT. he's a more experienced EMT. He has a been there, done that attitude, and many in our industry don't want to deal with new people, esp those they don't know if they can do the job well. not saying it's right, only that it's common.

One time we had an AMA (refusal) and he told me to go cancel fire as they pull up but I’m the one who is supposed to be getting patient information since I’m the one with iPad. I didn’t get patients demographics because I was explaining to fire the situation. How come he didn’t go do that.
Key up radio, "FD you can cancel" go back to documentation. if he's interacting with the patient, it's appropriate for him to ask someone else to cancel the FD.
He messed up my routine and report. I know I should be the one getting all the info but he tells me what to do and I am naive and scared chicken still since I’m new. I’m started to get frustrated because he does everything for me. He calls all the shots and I feel like I can’t learn on my own.
I will also suggest that if you are as new as you say, you are too new have your own "routine" because your routine needs to involve your partner. If he's your perm partner, than you need to change "your routine" to become "your crews routine." Welcome to EMS and working with a full time partner.
Everytime I mess up he makes me feel dumb, he listens to my radio report to the hospital and makes me nervous and he literally tells me what to say and I mess up and look stupid and I start stuttering. When I do it alone I’m fine.
He's literally making sure you don't mess up. Think of it as FTO without the FTO pay. I didn't say he's a good FTO, but he knows what is expected. Also, you might be fine when doing it alone, but you also don't know if you are messing up.
When we go to a call he starts asking questions for example to the nurse while I’m talking to the patient and then I’ll ask the nurse and she tells me she already gave the report and I didn’t hear it so I ask him and he barely tells me anything.
So tell the nurse you can give the report again, just to make sure nothing gets missed. It's called improving the transfer of care. And yes, you and your partner need to work on your commuication.
At this point I feel like I’m doing everything wrong, I feel discouraged and dumb and incapable of doing the job, self doubting myself. Im tired of feeling incompetent. I wish I had a new partner I would probably be a better emt. Or do I need to grow some and just don’t pay attention to him. What should I do?
Are you able to do OT? are you able to do a swap with someone else to another partner, for something different? See how the interactions are different? Back when I was full time on the truck, I did a routine swap to do something different and because it helps with my school schedule, and picked up OT in the burbs when I wanted to get out of the city. And every time I pissed off the scheduling lady and was assigned to the CCT truck, I did whatever I could to get moved to a 911 truck (we were in the same station) or offered to move to the PICU transport.

Realistically, in EMS, you will work with all types of people. some better than others. Some are good with their perm partners, and horrible with everyone else. And yes, working with a perm partner takes a while, so you can learn his methods and he can learn yours, so you can develop your own grooves as a team.

I would also encourage you to speak to your partner. He might not even realize what he's doing (it is just how he has always done things). I'll say I'm at the point in my career where I will rarely take the lead on a patient encounter (I am now on a FD QRV, not an ambulance), so if my partner is doing fine, I'm happy getting demographic information, taking notes, etc. the only time I will step in is if I see something critical that my partner doesn't immediately address, and I will do it in a way that doesn't make my partner look bad in front of the patient. But if my partner asks if I want to treat (typically while we are driving), I'm game.

BTW, gossip in EMS is rampant. It's like high school, but with ambulances. It gets even worse when it comes to who is sleeping with who. Many moons ago, I put in for a transfer, only to be denied by my operations coordinator due to "clinical competency concerns." Apparently some of the supervisors had heard that I didn't know what I was doing from certain popular people. When I asked why the clinical coordinator, who I saw every week, had never addressed these "concerns" he said "hmmmmmmm." The next time we had opening, he said I could pick which spot I wanted. Don't stress it, and do your job, you'll be fine.
 
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