Dumbest thing you have been asked

Arrive at hospital with an elderly man complaining of chest pain and difficulty breathing. Was conscious w/ a nasal cannula flowing 5 lpm upon arrival.

Medics finished the paperwork and everything and were walking out the door to rig...nurse comes running out and says "your patient is coding!" Medics have handed off the pt but go back anyways...doctor is waiting in the room...

Medic 2: Definite code blue.
Doctor: Okay...
Medic 1: Well....
Doctor: What do you want me to do?!?!
Medic 1: Uhm..well, lets see...CPR WOULD BE GOOD!
Doctor: oh yes. What do I do?

Not kidding.
 
RescueYou said:
Arrive at hospital with an elderly man complaining of chest pain and difficulty breathing. Was conscious w/ a nasal cannula flowing 5 lpm upon arrival.

Medics finished the paperwork and everything and were walking out the door to rig...nurse comes running out and says "your patient is coding!" Medics have handed off the pt but go back anyways...doctor is waiting in the room...

Medic 2: Definite code blue.
Doctor: Okay...
Medic 1: Well....
Doctor: What do you want me to do?!?!
Medic 1: Uhm..well, lets see...CPR WOULD BE GOOD!
Doctor: oh yes. What do I do?

Not kidding.
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please tell me what hospital this was cause i really dont want to go there
 
doctor:he fell on the stairs and we think his hip is broken,im a doctor
me: how did he get to this chair then if he fell on the stairs
doctor: we walked him over to the chair...
me:let me get this straight...you say he has a broken hip and you walked him?
doctor:yes,he has a broken hip
me:ok well i gotta check him out
doctor:i told you its broken,just take him to the hospital
me:um..your a doctor and walked a guy with a suspected broken him and you want me to take your word for it,let me just do my job...besides youve been drinking
doctor:im still a doctor...
me:unless your going to pull out some morphine out your briefcase and knock this guy out,step back and let me do my job
 
Dumbest thing you have been asked... Not quite

Hi All,

I was working as a security officer at my hospital and I was manning the Information Desk while the volunteer took a lunch break.

Two nicely dressed lady and gentleman came up and I greeted them:

"Where is Mr. Peter Johnson?" asked the lady.

I turned to the computer screen and started typing J O H N S... and the name came up. I checked and it was bed 4 in the ICU.

I looked at the lady and I said, 4th floor I.U.C bed 4.

But the reply was an angry look and a stern voice from the gentleman stating "I see You too, so stop this horsing around, we are late..."

I then apologized ans spelled it out for them.

Wassim
 
EMSLaw said:
In what world is an O2 sat of 80% 'usual'? Even COPDers are usually higher than that. And a BP that low is barely on the low end of the measurable range. I mean... c'mon.

"Oh, that's normal for him." in this instance seems to be code for, "I don't care." Much like vitals listed as "WNL" means "we never looked."
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its correct in the world of "we want this bed free."
 
"Is my jaw broken?"
 
This actually scores as something said by an EMT student that had me shaking my head and the rest of the crew in hysterics.

My daughter had developed another bacteremia and had a fever of over 42*C so when EMS arrived, she was in only a diaper - her gastrostomy, jejunostomy and Broviac were out in the open for all to see. The student looks at me while one of the other crew members gets our monitor switched over to theirs and asks me with all sincerity "Does she have any medical issues?"

I couldn't help myself - I looked right in his eyes and said "No, we were at the mall today to get her ears pierced and they missed".

Sometimes switching off the stuff you learn by rote to respond to the individual call is a good idea, especially when the parent is a smart ***. At least it eased the stress a touch, and maybe he learned a bit (because I know the crew would not let him live it down).
 
Hastings said:
Personally, for dumb, I prefer patients.

Today, I noticed a guy drive up next to the ambulance, get out, and start walking towards us. I'm like, okay, he just wants directions. That's fairly common.

He approaches my side, and I roll down the window. I say hello, and ask how he's doing. He calmly replies that he's doing alright. And then he holds up his hand and says:

"Hey, you guys thinks you could remove this for me?"

Well, it's a screw, impaled into his wrist, with about 2 inches showing outside his wrist. He starts massaging the skin around the area to show us. Yeah, the screw isn't moving. It's secured into his bone.

"Can you move your fingers?", I ask.

"Sure." (And he does.)

"And you still have feeling in your fingers?"

"Yep."

"..."

"..."

"So how did this happen?"

"I fell on it."

"Oh..."

"So do you think you could remove this for me?"

"No, we can't. You'll need to go to the hospital for that."

"Oh, okay..."

"..."

"...Do you think I should just pull it out?"

"NO!"



Although...

There's a system for getting drug orders in one of our areas. So, you call, and it goes something like this.

"Doctor, I have an obvious fracture here. (Insert full story.) Patient is in a lot of pain, and I'd like to give them some pain medication."

"Oh. Okay. Well, what do you have?"

"Well, I'd like to give them morphine."

"You carry morphine?"

"Yes."

"Okay, how much do you think you should give them?"

"Well, I think 4 would be a good place to start."

"Okay, you can give 16 mg. Oh, wait, how much does the patient weigh?"

"About 110 pounds."

"Oh, you might want to start with a lower dose."
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The nail guy.. wow lol
 
A woman on my crew has a dog and because she lives 2 apartments down from the station, she will occasionally take it on a walk during our shift. One day I joined her and a car pulled over to ask "if we had found the missing person." As we looked at each other, confused, the driver proceeded to ask if the person was found injured, how would we transport them without our strethcer. To which my partner replied, "Oh, we just whistle for our stretcher. What technology can do nowdays..."
The driver had mistaken the dog for a search dog because it was sniffing at all the bushes and we were in full uniform. They thought someone was missing. ;)
 
I was at the University Hospital on the floor for a d/c to home trasfer. While I was standing at the nurses station waiting for them to get the pt ready, a young woman in scrubs who I have no idea who she was walks up to me and with a straight face and a true tone of concern in her voice asks me "Is someone about to code?" :huh: I just hope she was a VERY new student.
 
Patient's family members will ask on scene: "where are you taking him?"

My reply is always : "to the hospital!"

B)
 
family member "someone's gointo be in the back? right?"

MD at doctor's office "someone's gointo be in the back? right?"
 
Oops... wrong thread
 
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PapaBear434 said:
I got yelled at by a brand new resident at the local trauma center a couple months back. We had a guy that was at his job, loading a cabinet onto the back of a pickup truck. He had his foot up on the tailgate, to help him push it up toward the cab. The tailgate let loose, and he fell sideways. He landed on his feet, but smacked his left kidney really hard on the end of the tailgate.

He said it immediately felt hot and spreading, and felt like he had to pee. So he went inside, and urinated what he said "looked like pure blood." He got a light headed at that sight, so he walked out to the main office, where the secretary and the boss both were, sat down on the floor, gently laid himself down, and passed out.

We show up, confirm that he did not fall and that he had no head/neck/spine pain, no deformities of any sort, and no signs whatsoever of trauma. We decided that we could safely release C-Spine, helped him onto the stretcher, and started rolling to the nearest trauma center Priority 3.

The resident, who had just been there a week, started freaking out us. He had heard the word "fall," and decided by default that he should have been backboarded, collared, and brought in Priority 1. He threatened to take our "license," have security remove us from the hospital and even not let us take the ambulance back because we "...weren't fit to be seen in it." He then started collaring the guy, ineptly I might add, because he couldn't figure out how to apply the collar.

He called our medical director, who came to the hospital immediately. He looked at the patient, talked to him, talked to us, and promptly told the resident to go get the attending. He told him he might want to put a leash on the new guy, because we did exactly what we were supposed to do and that the resident way overstepped his bounds, not including issuing impotent threats to take away our ambulance with no such authority to do so.

I just about cheered when I heard that, but I kept it to a smile. It helped that my partner that day was one of the chiefs, a 29 year medic, and friends with the director, but that resident was a moron.
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man...thats when you wanna ask the guy if he wants to step outside "for some fresh air" people like that are just sooo ridiculous that you just have to walk away...shaking your head.
 
A couple of weeks ago I was doing ride-time for my medic class & was bringing a pt w/ a rapid a-fib (170-240 BPM) into the ER & while giving turnover to the nurses I stated that I had administered 20mg of Cartizem IV Push to the pt while in route and it brought the rate to low 100's. Her response to this was "well you administered the Cartizem IM, right?"

last i learned Cartizem can only be administered IVPush & SL...right? :op
 
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afib

A couple of weeks ago I was doing ride-time for my medic class & was bringing a pt w/ a rapid a-fib (170-240 BPM) into the ER & while giving turnover to the nurses I stated that I had administered 20mg of Cartizem IV Push to the pt while in route and it brought the rate to low 100's. Her response to this was "well you administered the Cartizem IM, right?" :excl:

last i learned Cartizem can only be administered IVPush & SL...right? :op
 
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