Cover letter critique

[stickclicks]

Hello all,

Feel free to post your cover letters here for feedback.

I was hoping to get some criticism on my own cover letter. I obtained my NREMT Basic certification this past July and have been job hunting ever since. The two major private ambulance companies in my area are now owned by the same company and use the same online application process. I have come to the conclusion that with no background in EMS or the medical field, I have no chance against the filters their digital applications system is most likely using, so I will have to win them over in person (which I would prefer anyway).

Despite my previous employment at several reputable companies (mainly dealing with IT Administration, the most notable being 5 years at Apple Inc.) I have never had the need to compose a cover letter. I've done soem research on the formatting and this is what I have come up with, please, light it up.


" I am seeking an EMT-B position with COMPANY to further my education and experience in the emergency medial services field. My career goals include working with a reputable inter-facility transport and 911 response ambulance service starting as an EMT-B and progressing to the Paramedic level. I place personal emphasis on continuing my education, in and out of the classroom, and enjoy delivering the best possible service to the community. I have been described by my colleagues as strongly team focused and approachable. My background in customer service and technology will lend itself greatly in providing quality care to patients and their families.

Working with a company that I can share these core values with is important to me, and is the main reason I have chosen to focus my efforts with COMPANY. I have consulted a few current employees who all share the same passion about their work with the company and recommended COMPANY as a gratifying and empowering career opportunity.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

Signature"

Thank you for your help. I've been a long time lurker on the emtlife boards, but this is my first time posting. I attempted to find an active thread with discussion about cover letters, but they were all very old, it seemed wrong to revive them. (not intended to be a resuscitation crack at older folks).

 

[Chimpie]

There's no real need to repeat their company's name three times. Doing so only makes it look like you are using the same letter for every company you apply to, even though they already know you are.

The only thing I would add is a quick bullet point list of some of your credentials or things that make you stand out.

 

[akflightmedic]

The only thing I would add is a quick bullet point list of some of your credentials or things that make you stand out.

Then it is no longer a cover letter. That is what your CV (resume) is for...

 

[Chimpie]

Then it is no longer a cover letter. That is what your CV (resume) is for...

I disagree. The cover letter gets them to the resume. I'm not saying list every detail from every employer. I'm saying list three things that make you stand out.

 

[stickclicks]

Awesome, thank you for the feedback. So far I have:

•Try not to use the company's name too often as it makes it seems like a template.

I never thought if it like that. I was actually hoping to get the exact opposite message across, that they are my first choice. I really am focusing a lot of time on this company and was sincere in everything I said in my letter. I plan to change the letter to be more general for the other services I plan to apply for.

•Add some of my credentials.

As someone who is very new to the field my credentials, as far as EMS goes, are that of most new EMT-Bs. Health Care Provider CPR through AHA, and NREMT-B Certification / State Level EMT-B certification. Should I add a flawless driving record? I just assumed that my certs. were the cost of admission and as such were pointless to mention in a cover letter as they exist in my resumé. Is it common place to add such things to an EMS cover letter?

Once again thank you greatly for the input.

 

[bigbaldguy]

Awesome, thank you for the feedback. So far I have:

•Try not to use the company's name too often as it makes it seems like a template.

I never thought if it like that. I was actually hoping to get the exact opposite message across, that they are my first choice. I really am focusing a lot of time on this company and was sincere in everything I said in my letter. I plan to change the letter to be more general for the other services I plan to apply for.

•Add some of my credentials.

As someone who is very new to the field my credentials, as far as EMS goes, are that of most new EMT-Bs. Health Care Provider CPR through AHA, and NREMT-B Certification / State Level EMT-B certification. Should I add a flawless driving record? I just assumed that my certs. were the cost of admission and as such were pointless to mention in a cover letter as they exist in my resumé. Is it common place to add such things to an EMS cover letter?

Once again thank you greatly for the input.

Play up the customer service experience. It's something that many new EMTs lack. It is a marketable skill especially in IFT services.

 

[stickclicks]

Play up the customer service experience. It's something that many new EMTs lack. It is a marketable skill especially in IFT services.

That makes a lot of sense, great advice. Thank you!