coping when it gets personal

46

46young, sounds like your experiences parallel mine. I've also got seven years under my belt, four as a Medic. While I have been affected personally by those experiences, it's made me a better medic. That emotional attachment forced me broaden my horizons. I've been an RN for the last three years, PA for the past two years, I have a degree in human anatomy, a degree in biology, and am waiting acceptance to medical school. But what I love most is being a Fire Fighter and Paramedic. I agree that an emotional train wreck has no business in this field. There are plenty of emotional train wrecks out there, without having any emotional attachments to their patients, I've met several.
 
SEBeast said:
46young, sounds like your experiences parallel mine. I've also got seven years under my belt, four as a Medic. While I have been affected personally by those experiences, it's made me a better medic. That emotional attachment forced me broaden my horizons. I've been an RN for the last three years, PA for the past two years, I have a degree in human anatomy, a degree in biology, and am waiting acceptance to medical school. But what I love most is being a Fire Fighter and Paramedic. I agree that an emotional train wreck has no business in this field. There are plenty of emotional train wrecks out there, without having any emotional attachments to their patients, I've met several.
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You've got more college than me, though. Don't get me wrong, I'll see if family needs anything at the hospital, I'll explain what's going on to the family during an arrest after I get the my standing orders done, I'll check up on pts later on at the ED if I return to see if they need anything, call family for the pt while enroute to the ED time permitting, maybe do a wellness check on an elderly spouse of a pt who was depending on the pt for care. I'm not heartless, I care about my pt's comfort and well being, I'm just emotionally distant. I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but I don't feel an emotional connection to the pt.
 
I thought this happened to the OP when he was at his non EMS job which is security officer.
 
atropine said:
Get out of ems, or just accept the fact that it is someone eles emergency not yours, and youll be fine^_^
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See, I have a problem with this statement. Yes, it is important to realize that it's not your emergency. However, there are going to be calls that affect providers. Just because somebody is affected by a call or incident does NOT mean that they do not belong in EMS. It means that they are human.

I ask everybody on here one question: has there ever been a call that bothered you, even a little bit? If you say "no", you are a liar or are somebody who has no business in EMS, or any public service field, because you have no compassion. If you say "yes," then you had better get out of the field, because you clearly don't belong according to the reasoning of some people.

Let's say that we DO kick out anybody who has ever been disturbed by a call. What would we have? Very young, inexperienced EMS providers. And you know what would happen if THEY were affected by something? They would have to get out. The EMS system would go downhill pretty quickly.

I admit, I have questioned whether some people should be in EMS because of them being affected. I'm not perfect. But I've moved on. Why doesn't everybody else do the same thing? Why not instead of saying "Get out because you were affected by something you saw," we say something along the lines of "I can see how you would be affected by this. You're only human. Get help getting through this, and move on."

Which one do you think is more helpful?

Now, if emotions are directly affecting patient care, THAN there is a problem. But it somebody is just having a hard time with a call, is all of this really necessary?
 
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medichopeful said:
See, I have a problem with this statement. Yes, it is important to realize that it's not your emergency. However, there are going to be calls that affect providers. Just because somebody is affected by a call or incident does NOT mean that they do not belong in EMS. It means that they are human.

I ask everybody on here one question: has there ever been a call that bothered you, even a little bit? If you say "no", you are a liar or are somebody who has no business in EMS, or any public service field, because you have no compassion. If you say "yes," then you had better get out of the field, because you clearly don't belong according to the reasoning of some people.

Let's say that we DO kick out anybody who has ever been disturbed by a call. What would we have? Very young, inexperienced EMS providers. And you know what would happen if THEY were affected by something? They would have to get out. The EMS system would go downhill pretty quickly.

I admit, I have questioned whether some people should be in EMS because of them being affected. I'm not perfect. But I've moved on. Why doesn't everybody else do the same thing? Why not instead of saying "Get out because you were affected by something you saw," we say something along the lines of "I can see how you would be affected by this. You're only human. Get help getting through this, and move on."

Which one do you think is more helpful?
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That's what I meant by being 95% machine and 5% compassionate. I have that 5% of connection that keeps me human. But that's it.

You don't know what you'll be able to handle until you actually experience it. You may think you're ready for whatever, but you need those life experiences to really know if this job is for you.

How many would be able to handle a jumper down as their first ever EMS call? You'll either get a crazy rush from working it, or have reoccuring disturbing images and thoughts from it.
 
46Young said:
That's what I meant by being 95% machine and 5% compassionate. I have that 5% of connection that keeps me human. But that's it.

You don't know what you'll be able to handle until you actually experience it. You may think you're ready for whatever, but you need those life experiences to really know if this job is for you.

How many would be able to handle a jumper down as their first ever EMS call? You'll either get a crazy rush from working it, or have reoccuring disturbing images and thoughts from it.
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I agree that you don't know until you see it.

But remember, there is a difference between being affected and being incapacitated. If someone is disturbed by something so much that it makes them provide sub-par care, or they can't handle the simplest of calls, than there is a problem. If they see something, and it stresses them out a bit, they're human. They shouldn't be attacked. They should be supported.

As far as your jumper example, I'm sure some would be so scarred that they could no longer work in EMS. Of course, there will also be the ones who get a rush out of it, and don't care about the life lost. Neither of these people have any place in EMS. Then there are the people who see what happened, do their job, and after the call are affected a little bit. Does this mean that they are bad providers? No. In fact, I would argue that it makes them better providers, because it shows that they care. I completely agree that on site, they should be separated, but comforting. But to expect somebody to not be affected at all is just unrealistic.

So basically, just because somebody is affected by a call does NOT mean they are unfit to be a provider.
 
46Young said:
Like a machine, not an emotional wreck. You know what I'm saying? Furthermore, I don't require CISM, or need to go out of service afterward. Ready for the next job. Like a machine.

Maybe it's just me, but if MY life depended on it, I'd want a squared away unemotional medic working on my rather than an emotional train wreck, who is way more likely to make a mistake due to their compromised state.

Having said that, I do enjoy my job. I don't take the emotional aspect home with me, however.
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I agree the machine part is what gets the work done competently. I agree, if I'm down, I don't want an emotional wreck within 500 feet of me.

But in between the two is a human being.

I'm only suggesting that stuff WILL come up. One of the mechanisms of coping includes learning how to prevent a buildup of unresolved feelings. This job exposes us to an incredible array of insults. Some incidents DO get in and get in deep. By getting practice in using some form to help us "Face it and let it go; face it and let it go!" we can prevent an internal build up of unresolved emotions that can become overpowering.

NO ONE is invulnerable to the incident that comes out of nowhere, hits the emotional hot button that even WE didn't know we had, and throws us majorly off balance. That's how we learn to strengthen our support systems, and doesn't it make sense to have outlets in your life where you can express ANYTHING?

For me, my outlet was writing. I'd scream my butt off sometimes. Sometimes I'd cry, but you know what I found out? My willingness to face some of the pain helped me to find a deeper appreciation for the moments the work gave me with people. It helped me give just a little bit more while I was being an effective Flesh Mechanic.

While not taking the emotional aspect of the job home with you, it's also important to make sure you leave the machine in the truck. There lies a primary cause of burnout; building a hardened shell that won't come off. It impacts all areas of your life. I've been there, too, and decided that if feeling everything to its fullest meant feeling pain, too, then I wanted it all because pain's only a small part of it. And the harder you fight it, the bigger it gets. It's much easier to work through it.
 
I had a partner of mine get stabbed back in jan, i worked with him every tuesday... that day my girlfriend bugged me to spend time with her and to call in sick so i did..... he ended up gettiing stabbed 3 times due to my replacement... be carefully on hypoglycemia calls thats what this was. i feel bad and have nightmares all the time
 
fortsmithman said:
I thought this happened to the OP when he was at his non EMS job which is security officer.
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Unfortunately it appears you're the only one who has noticed this.
 
I'm going to throw my hat in with 46young and Atropine, 6 years in the field I think it is 95%/5%. You are there to fix what you can, as effectively as you can. Emotion clouds judgement, and slows the reactions. There's time to feel bad for myself after the call is over... I really like the description "effective flesh mechanic" because that is what we are. Fire tender, I'm stealing this. It's funny, I've used the comparisons of cars to humans before to explain to mechanics what we do isn't rocket surgery...
 
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