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You said you applied, and hit roadblocks. The roadblocks were explained. I posted mostly to encourage you to get all the certs out of the way so as to not waste your efforts applying to positions that you will likely be passed over for. Guess I should have been more clear. Also a word to the wise, getting a little snarky with the people that actually have the leads is not how to get them.
If you need a job now, you could do worse than this place: icareambulance.com. The name is lame, the work is probably not the best, but they pay better than most of the other privates and allegedly take care of people.
I don't think the advice you've gotten has been unreasonable.
I don't think it is, I'm just pointing out the applicant's perspective. I've been on both sides of the hiring process. Hiring is objective and subjective. I don't think its unreasonable to suggest that the objective factors of the process be clearly articulated.