Damn, you're getting screwed, big time. Move down to OC. Same DMV BS and same DOT Card BS, but the cert is ~$60 (~$30 each for your EMT-B cert and attendant license) and you only need 1 livescan. Plus you can get it as a 2 year cert as well as before you're employed. Most of the companies down here also start at/above $10/hr (Care, Pacific, Lynch, at least. Doctor's has terrible pay though).
edit: Hell, CC students get free TB tests? Even UCI Student Health charged like $10 for that. (TB tests aren't required in OC though)