Advice needed. bad first day.

I once told a CISD team leader to either get out of my way (he was blocking the door so I could not leave after a bad wreck with worked with a bunch of dead teens, including the son of one of my coworkers; neither of the parents were present for this but we were all ordered into the room) or one of the following was going to happen:
1. He was going to have a Corcoran jump boot wedged in one of his orifices, my choice of which one.
2. He was going to jail for kidnapping/unlawful restraint
3. Both

No one forces me to talk about my feelings without either a court order or that person being my fiancee.
 
Is anyone else impressed by USAF's fiance? Cause I am.

I've never participated in a formal CISM session, and never plan to. The one time I came close it was a combo debrief/informal CISM session and it was a disaster. The whole thing delved into a lot of bickering and arguing about scene management issues.
 
Is anyone else impressed by USAF's fiance? Cause I am.
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Why is that?
 
I have been there too!

abckidsmom said:
It is the hardest spot to be in, looking at yourself laying there.

Even the Great Master George Lucas knew that. (lol) (Empire Strikes Back...swamps of Dagobah)

If it's really still bothering you this far out, you need to talk to a professional. I have had several instances like that, where I could completely see myself in the position of the patient or the family members, whose lives are permanently altered because of a random event. You will not forget this guy, or the looks on everyone's faces, but the sharpness of it all will fade with time.

I don't think at all that this means this career is not for you. That was a shocking first day, and even if all you had was routine calls, they would have stuck with you for a long time. Find someone to talk this out with...then re-evaluate.

People like you, who feel empathy, can go on to make the best medics. Heartless people moving slabs of meat, not so much.
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Sorry for posting on this, late, as i am... but i just wanted to say, I have been there, seen some terrible things, and i know where you are coming from.
What i experienced was on my 3rd day in the Ambulance working as an EMT-I. It was a tractor trailer vs. Ford Mustang... The woman was 31 yr/old, and closely resembled what you described.
I have never seen fear, as i did in her eyes that night. And i will never forget it.

The best thing i did was to go talk to someone that was recommended at the call debriefing... It helped a LOT.

As was said above... "People like you, who feel empathy, can go on to make the best medics."

I was told the same thing...

You will never forget it... Just learn to cope with it.

But as i said, talking helped me learn ways to cope with the things i see now.
 
This is the thing.

Be aware that that incident would have happened regardless of you being part of the response or not.

You did not in any way contribute to the cuase of the crash. You were there to help take care of things. And as a noob you help by doing what you are told.

You need to decide yourself if what you want to do is be there to help take care of things. Nobody but you can answer that question.
 
Everyone has been overwhelmed at some point in their career. If they haven't they are lying or never been involved in a major incident. At some point the stress will wear. Talk to someone if you need to.
 
BandageBrigade said:
Everyone has been overwhelmed at some point in their career. If they haven't they are lying or never been involved in a major incident.
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I find this to not be the case.
 
Just because someone says that not everyone gets overwhelmed at some point doesn't mean they are being dishonest about it. Different people react and cope in different ways. Some are better at compartmentalizing than others. It all depends.

Just because someone does get overwhelmed doesn't mean they aren't cut out for the job, and just because someone else doesn't get overwhelmed doesn't mean they are a heartless b@stard.
 
Aidey said:
Just because someone says that not everyone gets overwhelmed at some point doesn't mean they are being dishonest about it. Different people react and cope in different ways. Some are better at compartmentalizing than others. It all depends.

Just because someone does get overwhelmed doesn't mean they aren't cut out for the job, and just because someone else doesn't get overwhelmed doesn't mean they are a heartless b@stard.
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Exactly.

I am not suggesting that people who do get overwhelmed are weak or not cut out for the job.

On the contrary, if somebody needs help they should not think it is weakness or inability and get help straight away.

My experience is vast in both bredth and depth, I am not suggesting I am immune from getting overwhelmed, only that it has not happened.

If anyone asks though, I am a cold hearted inhuman B@stard.

Under promise, over deliver.
 
BandageBrigade said:
Everyone has been overwhelmed at some point in their career. If they haven't they are lying or never been involved in a major incident. At some point the stress will wear. Talk to someone if you need to.
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Veneficus said:
I find this to not be the case.
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Would you put a different word in besides "overwhelmed," Vene? Seems to me, you fit the category of people called Vulcan. Lots of words, plenty of rational thought, imminently able to focus on the task at hand...and not so much on the emotional side of things. I've never seen a Vulcan overwhelmed with emotion; not even in the face of disastrous things, but then there is something, and I've never thought to ask.

Is there a corollary for people like you? I am married to one like this, and he says he just doesn't get worked up over stuff. He does, however, get pissed off when the random inhumanity of people kicks in...appropriately pissed off at the evildoer and then drops it when the incident is over. I've always thought that was a neat feature to have.
 
abckidsmom said:
Seems to me, you fit the category of people called Vulcan. Lots of words, plenty of rational thought, imminently able to focus on the task at hand...and not so much on the emotional side of things. I've never seen a Vulcan overwhelmed with emotion; not even in the face of disastrous things, but then there is something, and I've never thought to ask.
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BAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry Vene, but having just recently seen the pictures of you on your profile I couldn't help but bust up laughing. You pretty much have the same haircut as Spock. :P


Back on topic, I'm not sure what I would personally call it. For me the best way to describe it is that stuff doesn't stick. I get pissed/mad/upset/etc but I get it out of my system and that is the end of it. I don't dwell or get hung up on anything. I've never had dreams or anxiety about running into situation again. Now, there are situations I don't like being in, and don't care to repeat, but not in a "OMG, I can't deal" way that keeps me from functioning.
 
abckidsmom said:
Would you put a different word in besides "overwhelmed," Vene? Seems to me, you fit the category of people called Vulcan. Lots of words, plenty of rational thought, imminently able to focus on the task at hand...and not so much on the emotional side of things. I've never seen a Vulcan overwhelmed with emotion; not even in the face of disastrous things, but then there is something, and I've never thought to ask.

Is there a corollary for people like you? I am married to one like this, and he says he just doesn't get worked up over stuff. He does, however, get pissed off when the random inhumanity of people kicks in...appropriately pissed off at the evildoer and then drops it when the incident is over. I've always thought that was a neat feature to have.
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This is the first time I have ever been referred to as either a vulcan or Spok.

But I have actually given this a lot of thought today. I have no answers.

First I tried to figure out if it is intrinsic or extrinsic. As I could come to neither conclusion, I assume it is both in some way.

I am not sure I can explain it.

I will think on it a little more.
 
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I was not stating overwhelmed with emotion specifically. And I am in no way calling anyone a liar, but not even during clinicals, or any aspect of your careers/education/training have you been overwhelmed? With the task at hand, scope of the incident, your emotions, anything? I was just trying to convey to the OP that these are normal reactions that most; if not all will have at some point. It does not have to be something that lasts after the call or incident. It most likely has been there, even if only for that one moment.
 
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BandageBrigade said:
I was not stating overwhelmed with emotion specifically. And I am in no way calling anyone a liar, but not even during clinicals, or any aspect of your careers/education/training have you been overwhelmed? With the task at hand, scope of the incident, your emotions, anything? I was just trying to convey to the OP that these are normal reactions that most; if not all will have at some point. It does not have to be something that lasts after the call or incident. It most likely has been there, even if only for that one moment.
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Outrageous amounts of responsibility is my modus operandi.

Usually the only thing that overwhelms me is trying to explain things to simple minded people when they don't catch on right away.
 
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Veneficus said:
Outrageous amounts of responsibility is my modus operandi.

Usually the only thing that overwhelms me is trying to explain things to simple minded people when they don't catch on right away.
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OK, so the education, training, and day to day operations never overwhelm you. What about dealing with all the people, people who train you, supervise you, report to you, or you are assigned to train yourself, ever get overwhelemed by one or more of them ?
 
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