A Very Sad Day for Me

[MrPookie]

Well, I dropped my EMT-B course. It is very upsetting for me because I finally felt like I had found a subject that I wanted to make a career out of. The problem with me is that I have lots of self-doubt. I tide for the highest grade in my class on our first exam, and was extremely prepared to take my first practical (which was to occur on the day I dropped the course). I completely psyched myself out, which I have a bad habit of doing. I convinced myself that I would not be able to handle the practicals throughout the course, even though, thinking about it now, I'm sure I would do better than fine. It seems to me that lately, whenever I am faced with a large challenge with an unsure outcome, that I run away from the problem. Anyways, I'm not very sure why I posted this on here other then for therapeutic purposes. Perhaps I will re-enroll in January...:sad:

 

[Airwaygoddess]

Pathways.....

What ever you decide to do is going to be a good thing, just remember if you ever change your mind, we will always be here! Good luck!

 

[legion1202]

I know how you feel. I will be take my emt class and taking some other classes. I`m not afriad of the class work or anything I just hope I will beable to do the job. My worst fear is dealing with kids my sons age. But I know thats part of the work. I just got to remember that I wasnt the one who hurt them or put them in that situation. ANd i think even that vets have a hard time dealing with children.

With that being said if you really really want to do somthing....... Just go full speed into it... I know I dont want to be 40 seeing a fire truck go by and telling my self :censored::censored::censored::censored:... I should have tried.

 

[Onceamedic]

Courage is not the absence of fear.. courage is doing it in spite of the fear. I was scared almost every day in paramedic classes - especially the labs. I am scared every time the tones sound. Face the fear and you defeat it and it becomes easier to beat every time you do it. If you want to work in emergency medicine or pre-hospital care, than you have to become used to it and learn to deal with it. It is life affirming and very satisfying. Good luck to you.

 

[MMiz]

I had signed up to take my EMT-Basic course while taking 16 credits at my college. I dropped my EMT-Basic course in January, and then took the course in May and absolutely loved it. The first time around I was stressed and tired. The second time around I was fresh and excited. If it's something you really want to do, you can always try again. If not, find something you're passionate about and pursue it!

 

[CFRBryan347768]

Not to blow the nice warm pillow of support but what is going to happen when you roll up on scene and crap has hit the fan and your faced with a huge situation then what? You deal with abandoment charges? If you can not deal with a class and tests how are you oing to deal woth a pt. Are you going to question you bp reading? Pulse? What your supposed to do and when and wether or not you did it right. You need to get your self straight and seriously think about this.

 

[BossyCow]

Okay, I'll probably get bashed for not being 'understanding enough' but here's my two cents:

My guess is that you posted here because you want someone to come along and make you feel better about yourself for something you have already decided was a personal failing. That, to me implies a basic need for external validation. There's not a lot of that in EMS unless you work for one of those warm, fuzzy all about being a hero, groups.

EMS is hard. Calls go badly. Patients die even if you do everything right. You will be judged constantly, by family of the pt, MPD, co-workers, armchair quarterbacks on forums like this, lawyers and possibly even a jury of your peers. You will have to do this job with your humanity intact which means you will make the occasional error in judgement and you will face consequences for that error.

I would recommend taking a real hard look at your reasons for wanting to do this job. This may be one of those personal aha moments where you overcome a character flaw or weakness or it may be one of those times when you get a clearer view of who you are and where you are going in life. To recognize that a particular career is not cut out for you doesn't mean you are somehow inferior to those that do it. It means you are different and better suited for something else.

 

[MrPookie]

What ever you decide to do is going to be a good thing, just remember if you ever change your mind, we will always be here! Good luck!

Thank you for the helpful replies, they are comforting and informative.

With that being said if you really really want to do somthing....... Just go full speed into it... I know I dont want to be 40 seeing a fire truck go by and telling my self ... I should have tried.

This is something that had crossed my mind, and not a situation I wanted to be in. I agree definitely.

Face the fear and you defeat it and it becomes easier to beat every time you do it.

That is very true. Repetition makes the "correct" instincts come more naturally. I feel like if I had gone through the first practical and realized everything would have turned out fine (the same thing that happened to my first exam) that I would have been much more confident on the rest of the practicals.

Not to blow the nice warm pillow of support but what is going to happen when you roll up on scene and crap has hit the fan and your faced with a huge situation then what? You deal with abandoment charges? If you can not deal with a class and tests how are you oing to deal woth a pt. Are you going to question you bp reading? Pulse? What your supposed to do and when and wether or not you did it right. You need to get your self straight and seriously think about this.

I am not looking for a "nice warm pillow of support", my post was more of a vent. But, there is nothing wrong with looking for support when you are feeling down, EMS workers do it all the time (CISD teams, talking with family, etc.) As far as "rolling up on a scene where crap has hit the fan" I wouldn't put myself in a situation where I wasn't prepared/trained to deal with what awaited, hence why I dropped the class. Of course I would not deal with abandonment charges, why would I leave a patient if I was unsure? Who would do that? Some of your questions are fairly hard to read, so I'll skip them. As far as "seriously thinking about this", why do you think I dropped the class?

Okay, I'll probably get bashed for not being 'understanding enough' but here's my two cents:

I joined this board for constructive criticism as well, not to bash anybody.

My guess is that you posted here because you want someone to come along and make you feel better about yourself for something you have already decided was a personal failing.

I'm glad you have me pegged. I don't feel I had a "personal failing", I just questioned my judgment. As I replied above, there is nothing wrong with looking for support when you feel down, I'm sure you do it all the time.

I would recommend taking a real hard look at your reasons for wanting to do this job.

I want(ed?) to do this job for several reasons. I hate the idea of working at a desk. I was a Sociology major because I LOVE working with people. I also feel that I honestly am very good at something that I apply myself to, and I would love to be good at helping people in need! I also think that EMS work (in general, there are exceptions of course) takes a certain type of person, and I like the attitude of the workers.

This may be one of those personal aha moments where you overcome a character flaw or weakness or it may be one of those times when you get a clearer view of who you are and where you are going in life. To recognize that a particular career is not cut out for you doesn't mean you are somehow inferior to those that do it. It means you are different and better suited for something else.

This was a very helpful response for me, because it makes a lot of sense. I hope that this does provide a clearer view of who I am, and, who knows, it may lead me back to EMS again. Thank you for the helpful reply.

I just want to be clear that I am not coming here for a "warm pillow of support", but rather helpful opinions about my situation, stories of people who have been in the same situation and how they dealt with it, comfort, etc. I was only in the EMT-B class for a month (almost), and already have gained a great deal of respect (more than I had) for what you people do. It does seem like it takes a certain type of person, and I am unsure of what "type" I am at this point in my life.

Sorry this is so long, my son is asleep and it's the first time I've gotten to sit down in a while, so I figured the longer I type the longer I get to sit here ^_^

 

[BEorP]

What I would have said to you initially has pretty much been said. Remember though that how you spend your days is how you spend your life. Although I do not mean to judge your situation as obviously life is much more challenging than I could imagine when you have a child for one, but in some ways I would have more respect for you if you had failed. Rather than giving it 100% and failing you dropped out instead of taking the risk of not being able to pass. If you spend your days wishing but being afraid of risk then you'll look back on your life someday wishing... but this time wishing that you didn't just spend your life wishing.

 

[MikeRi24]

all i really have to say is this: I thought EMS was what I really wanted to do, so i went and took my class, and after the first couple classes, I thought I could never do it and thought about quitting myself. I had to take a few moments and just sit back, relax and not take it so serriously and not be so hard on myself. I'll be perfectly honest, I totally bombed my first practical test and one of my instructors let me have it afterwards. He would always make you second guess yourself and try to get you confused.

My advice to you is this: take the course over again, but go in with a more relaxed and laid back mindset to things. remember that everything builds on each other, so focus on one thing at a time, not the whole picture (its really important that at some point you actually do start to see the whole picture, but just to start off with....) and eventually you'll get better and the best part is when you can go into a situation, be confident in your skills, diagnose and treat the pt and then knowing that you were right and did the right thing (in a test scenario) or you got your pt to the ED and you did what needed to be done to ensure the propor pre-hospital care of the pt, then you'll realize how far you came from not knowing anything. Take advantage of your ride time too, you can learn a LOT in the field with some experienced guys out there.

I'm not trying to say you're a whimp and suck it up and stop being scared. I think you have to be scared, if you're not scared then theres something wrong. I just got off a shift and we had a call come out for an extremely violent psych and they dispatched 2 units because PD was even having a hard time containing and controlling the guy. My stomach was in my mouth the whole way to the call. If you are in a situation and freeze up, just take a second to take a deep breath and go back to the basics.

 

[ExpatMedic0]

Have you considered seeing a mental health professional to see if you have an anxiety disorder of any kind? Nothing wrong with getting a RX for some Valium if it chills you out enough to take test and Finnish your program.

 

[Onceamedic]

Finnish your program.

as opposed to Norwegianing or Swedishing it?

 

[firetender]

There's a place that you will fit into seamlessly, with the attendant amount of challenges, adjustments and failures that everyone experiences. Who you are will find that place and you will learn to mourn all the less for the places you didn't fit.

 

[AugustLastWeek]

During my classes I was allways full of doubts. "Will I be able to do that?", "How will I react if I happen to get this situation?". Well when I finished my the couse I was extremely scared, though I had one of the best grades in class, I didnt feel prepared at all and I talked to my instructor, and he told me: "You have everything to become an excellent EMT, you just need to trust in yourself." Well that was exactly what I needed to hear, now I trust myself, and if I have any doubt about any situation I dont have any problem to ask for help or to say that Im not able to solve it, and everyday I progress a little more.
I know it's hard to trust in ourselves sometimes, but if we cant trust us who will?

 

[mikeylikesit]

hindsights 20/20...i had the same doubts when i was in class as a basic until it was almost over with. My motivations were my dad and my passions so i kept at it...its not for everyone and it is not like you went to med school and decided to withdraw...or withdrew because you sucked at it. you will be fine and don't dwell on it. your destiny is meant for another purpose.

 

[Katie]

i hear where you're coming from. i know that when i took emt-b i didn't even want to take the class to begin with... but once i got into it i loved it the attitude you have going in i think is what makes a lot of the difference in whether or not you will succeed. in other words go in saying i'm going to take this class and do my best at it. my granddad used to say "it's ok to fail, it's not ok to quit." in my view that's kind of the attitude you have to have. best luck