101 Ways to Tell a Patient You Don't Need an Ambulance, Without Actually Saying so..

IRIDEZX6R

IRIDEZX6R

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What key phrases do you guys use? Let the hilarity begin!
 
Dude, if you come with me you're getting this (14ga) in your arm, if you go in that car over there, you don't.
 
I am more than happy to take you to the hospital in the ambulance, however, I am unable to do anything for your stubbed toe, and will just end up being a very expensive taxi ride.
 
We don't mention expense because we don't charge.

I have heard things said like, "We'll be happy to take you if you'd like us to. In our assessment you look fine and your vitals are good. If we take you to the hospital you're in for a bumpy, uncomfortable ride and you're not going to get seen any quicker than if you have your [relative/friend/neighbor/local taxi company/etc.] take you, and we'll probably be directed to drop you off in the waiting room. You also have the option of contacting your own doctor to see what they think. And if you don't go with us now but things get worse later, feel free to call us again and we'll be happy to take you."

More or less.
 
We can bring you but you'll be travelling with a corpse we just pulled out of the river that we were delivering to the Morgue when we got diverted to check you out.

or...

Your next door neighbor is scheduled to have a seizure at 4:30 today. We'll be back then.
 
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Brown would say something to them like "if you go to the hospital they are going to sit you in chairs, you won't get seen any faster and you are still going to be in for a very long wait and they probably won't do much, you are better off .... "

Then again Brown has never really said anything like that as Brown knows Brown is spoilt because Brown has no obligation to undertake non clinically necessary transport even if the patient insists
 
Untuck half your shirt and pick up an empty beer bottle from the side of the road then come staggering around the side of the ambulance and in your best deliverance voice state the following.

"Git in dah back uh duh truck and take dem clodes off, we'se gonna havt'a take a looksee at yah"
 
We are happy to take you to the ER if that is where you would like to go, however, during our evaluation we were unable to find any signs that you suffer from an emergent condition that would benefit from a trip to the ER. We recommend that you see you primary care/urgent care doctor as soon as possible. Feel free to call us back if anything changes or you change your mind about going to the hospital. Please sign this form that absolves us from liability in case you actually are fixing to die. Have a nice day.
 
We can't say that a patient doesn't need to be transported by an ambulance. If they want to go for the smallest reason then well they are going. If they don't want to go even for the smallest thing we have a whole 12 step process for signing AMA :wacko:
 
What this time?
No, it still hasn't changed
No, you aren't dying
Did you call your doctor yet?
No, the ED isn't going to treat your high BP of 140/92
Does your car have gas?
No, i'm not saying I wont take you
Yes, you are wasting my time
THEN TAKE A TAXI!!!
Alright, see you in a little bit



One side of the dialogue that I heard not too long ago :P
 
when I was doin my clinicals) Shure we can take ya, But were gonna let the student handle the call. looks at me, they taught you IV's right.
 
We'll basically tell them "we'll gladly take you to the hospital if you want, however, I can't guarantee that your insurance will pay." Then we can go on and explain further if need be.

Sent from my mobile command center
 
You want to go because you're hungry? Well, I'm sure they'll get you something eventually. But, you know. Its a friday night, the ER is packed with all those ETOH and DFO's. But you know, it'll only be a couple hours in triage, and then a couple hours in a hall bed, and a few more hours after that. But I'm sure SOMEONE will get you something, eventually. No insurance you say? It'll be one exspensive meal sir. You changed your mind you say? Here, sign this form. Good day, sir.
 
I haven't gotten anything that didn't really need a transport, yet. Anything that was pretty minor, like a few scrapes and stuff the patient was smart enough to know they didn't really need to go to the hospital. Even a guy on a bike stuck by a vehicle going 30-35 mph. Medics checked him out after we did and we couldn't find anything serious. He only had minor abrasions on his hands.
 
traumaluv2011 said:
I haven't gotten anything that didn't really need a transport, yet. Anything that was pretty minor, like a few scrapes and stuff the patient was smart enough to know they didn't really need to go to the hospital. Even a guy on a bike stuck by a vehicle going 30-35 mph. Medics checked him out after we did and we couldn't find anything serious. He only had minor abrasions on his hands.
Click to expand...

That seems like a decent enough mechanism to push him to go to the hospital...

I've always loved the people who think the ambulance will get them seen quicker. I tell them, "do you want an expensive ride to the waiting room, or do you want to drive yourself?" Lol.


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Flightorbust said:
when I was doin my clinicals) Shure we can take ya, But were gonna let the student handle the call. looks at me, they taught you IV's right.
Click to expand...

Lol! I think I'll use this one some time...
 
I haven't personally done this...

The plethora tactic around here seems to be telling patients which hospitals are "busy" thus we'll have to take you to XXX hospital (which has a poor reputation)...REFUSAL signed!
 
Lady_EMT said:
That seems like a decent enough mechanism to push him to go to the hospital...

I've always loved the people who think the ambulance will get them seen quicker. I tell them, "do you want an expensive ride to the waiting room, or do you want to drive yourself?" Lol.


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Click to expand...

Mechanism of injury isn't an indication of needing to goto the hospital.


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