At what point do you stop protecting your partner?

[armywifeemt]

We are taught to have our partner's back. The stupid little insignificant crap they do that in the long run isn't going to harm anyone but in the short run maybe isn't so professional? Yeah, maybe we let that go.. or talk to them about it frankly... As a basic, I've been told many times... paramedics save lives, basics save paramedics... So yeah, sometimes there are things we may have to point out that our partners should know.. and its whatever. That is why we have two people with EMS training on a truck rather than one person with training and a driver, right? Two heads are better than one.


At what point is it too much though? At what point does a lack of professionalism justify a chat with management? At what point do you do more than raise an eyebrow and let it go? What is the breaking point? And how do you handle the (potential) backlash?

Without getting into specifics, I am trying to decide how to handle the situation that I am in. I already talked to my partner. You could cut the tension on my truck with a knife. We barely speak a word to each other when not caring for a pt. Sometimes I am pretty sure even our patients can feel it at this point. Nothing truly bad has happened yet, but I feel like it is only a matter of time....

 

[Sasha]

I don't cover my partner if they're breaking the rules in regards to patient care or putting me in danger. I will tell someone the minute it happens.

My patient is my first priority (aside from scene safety issues). I am not going to tolerate crap care or cover ups or corner cutting.

If you want to stop somewhere before going available, mooch a few minutes on a call, fine. Anything else, you bet your butt I will write you up (I'm an FTO.) Or take it to our higher ups.

Also if you get mouthy with a nurse to the point you're disrespectful and not just firm and abrupt, you're on your own.

And emts don't save medics.

 

[WolfmanHarris]

The trust of a partner comes from being trustworthy. The expectation of automatic support regardless of infraction is a :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored:ization of this trust. Those that would expect a provider to ignore and cover-up any misconduct of a partner are not espousing any ideal about camaraderie, or support, or trust, but are bullying.

My partner has my full support and I will back them to the hilt, but we've been partners for over a year. Trust has been built and I respect them. Part of that trust though is that you don't abuse it by placing your partner is a position where they would have to consider covering up anything or looking the other way in the face of misconduct. Part of that trust is that I will bring an issue to them to resolve directly rather than directly to a supervisor, but the expectation in return is that they work to resolve issues so they don't have to go further.

To a certain extent I can understand a tit for tat. If the truck is dented by another shift and I'm asked about it I'm not going to say "John did it." but at the same time, I sure as heck would report it as found damage when I do my truck check. I've done my due diligence, that doesn't include pointing fingers.

If your partner is doing stuff that is going to get them and you in a bad place, then they aren't having your back, you're just having there's. Trust has to be a two way street.

 

[Brandon O]

Part of that trust is that I will bring an issue to them to resolve directly rather than directly to a supervisor, but the expectation in return is that they work to resolve issues so they don't have to go further.

This is key, I think. It may not be reasonable for you to put up with anything, but it's entirely reasonable for them to expect that you'll discuss problems with the problem-maker before airing your dirty laundry in any respect, something that ruins trust and should be an absolute last resort.

Beyond that, there is a distinct difference between actively going to bat for someone and simply declining to help throw them under the bus. The first may only be appropriate in some cases, but the second should be the default, IMO. Just like you have certain duties to your patient simply because they're you're patient (a situation they can't reasonably escape), you have certain duties to your partner, who didn't ask to be trapped in a box with you while you watch every misstep he makes. You don't have to lie, cheat, and steal for him, but in my book, he has the right to privacy. Except in extreme cases anything said or done was for your eyes and ears, not anybody else's. And that's not something that stems from your respect or personal fondness for him, but rather something that applies to everybody who sits beside you, even if you've never met them, they're a giant douche, or you'd rather slit your wrists than work with them again.

If they're actually endangering you or compromising your duty to your patients, that's another matter. In which case, see point one. But these teams don't work if you're not on the same team.

 

[Martyn]

To turn the table, why accuse your partner of something you haven't done? I am now on 90 days probation for allegedly doing something I STRONGLY deny doing. No proof, I don't know who my accuser is (company policy!!!) and it stays on my record so if I 'do it again' I will be fired!!! Absolutely ridiculous. Some people ought to get a life...

 

[mycrofft]

Supervisors need to investigate reports, not shoot from the hip.

When you cover for someone you assume responsibility for what they are doing also. Bring it up away from patients etc, as a question. Let them know then if you just misunderstood, or if you are not OK with it. If you let it go on, they can use that as an indication it is ok with you, or use it to blackmail your further "partnership". That is partner abuse, and like spouse abuse, the first element is to secure the victim's silence.

Real partners don't leave partners hanging by asking to be covered-for by repeatedly doing dumb stuff. If you don't like working with them, get another partner. If enough people ask for a different co-worker, someone in admin ought to get the clue.

This is an issue with licensed medical professionals like nurses and MD's too. They are required to act on bad stuff going on. Some use it as a means to beat others over the head, others will stonewall any investigation. Most will use sense and talk about it, then try to fix it, and if necessary, quit and go elsewhere.

 

[armywifeemt]

I suppose this definitely answers my question. I've brought issues to my partner's attention. In the beginning of our partnership we had a wonderful working relationship and got on fantastically. As time has gone on, I've noticed more and more that has painted a less than glowing picture - not just of personal behaviors that while not necessarily directly impacting our ability to do our jobs, do indicate a lack of professionalism on his part - but also of his ethics and ability to provide appropriate care for patients. I'm at my wits end. I don't want to be a snitch, but at the same time I feel if all I do is ask for a new partner without disclosing some of what has gone on, and someone winds up not getting proper treatment because of it, some of the blame for that then rests on my shoulders. Every time I have brought up an issue with him, I have done so in a calm and rational manner. I have been met with hostility... each and every time. It is a symptom of a larger issue I have noticed with his character, and I don't think there is a damn thing that can be done about it except to not work with him any more and to give management some indication of why. Yes, eventually if you go through enough partners it will eventually become clear that you're the problem, but there is no guarantee his next partner won't be as bad as he is and that they won't just both cover for each other. That seems like a very awful potential outcome that could have devastating consequences.

 

[Brandon O]

If you don't like working with them, get another partner. If enough people ask for a different co-worker, someone in admin ought to get the clue.

I think this is often how it works, and honestly, it may not be the worst method.

I'm glad we're talking about this, because I think it's important, and a common dilemma. I also think there are different types of situations here.

1. Rules are broken. Either there is no harm done (we stop for coffee on the way to call), or harm is minimal and to an entity who can readily bear it (he boosts a roll of gauze from hospital supply to wrap his busted elbow). Or the letter of a protocol is not followed although the patient's interests were. This is the stuff that can and probably should get ignored, because it's water under the bridge, part of the grist of life, and oftentimes the right thing to do -- far more harm to try to eradicate it. In the words of Dr. Cox, "By-the-book attendings kill us up here." If there's a pattern and you start to feel uncomfortable for your own butt from association, you might have a conversation about it, and he should take that seriously. Like any marriage, there has to be compromise.

2. Real harm is done, or at least chanced. A clinical error is made that could have harmed a patient. Maybe he puts you, or both of you, in danger. The kind of thing that we call a screw-up and that's obviously not okay. Here you consider what the goal is: for it not to happen again. Many times the screwer knows what he did and that's that. Sometimes your position on it needs to be made clear. If you cannot come to a common ground -- you can't be okay with it, and he can't change -- then perhaps you should stop working together.

If, and only if, it's clear that he's never going to change, AND the behavior is so inappropriate, dangerous, or unethical that you're not even okay with it happening outside of your presence -- the chance that it's happening anywhere is unacceptable to you -- then perhaps you need to escalate the matter to a higher authority.

Just remember that as you walk through the world, people probably disagree with some of the things you do. It needs to be a long jump between this and trying to rub you out of the profession, because otherwise none of us will last very long.

 

[Brandon O]

Let me just throw out a personal example here.

I have lost a job for this. I had a partner who was, in my eyes, breaking a rule but not endangering anybody (whether this is true is not relevant here). There was a complaint, it came to an investigation, and I was asked whether it had happened. I chose to essentially decline to comment (I remembered nothing), since I neither wanted to lie or help crucify him. I was fired for not cooperating. I have no regrets about how I handled it. It would have served no purpose and ruined a partnership to play a role in his investigation. But I also didn't feel the need to lie for him, especially since the truth was readily available.

That's what I would consider a reasonable approach. Obviously it's not exactly career-proof. But not much is in this business.

 

[mycrofft]

How about this:

A. Patient care is degraded--protect the patients--report it.

B. No patient care is degraded, it bugs you--get another co-worker if (s)he won't change.

C. No harm, it does't bug you--decide if it is worth your job and what to do if asked to report ("snitch" as abusive partners will call it).

Those are some other signs of partner abuse: "Hey, I'd never rat on you even if it cost me my job!". (Use of pejorative for "divulge", and require you to throw yourself under the bus for them).

Folks like that can actually feel you are too sensitive or in some other way it is not their fault. They may feel "only sucker's will take the dive, and I'm no sucker". Based on that, future elevation of their learning curve is unlikely. Move on.

 

[the_negro_puppy]

Snitches get stitches

 

[WolfmanHarris]

Also worth considering, do you have an employer that facilitates honesty. Let's say a mistake is made that breaches policy and your partner wants to cover it up, for the sake of simplicity we'll keep it outside patient care. My employer is extremely reasonable and encourages reporting of issues for full disclosure, being prepared for potential liability and identifying possible system issues that may be at fault; they are not known or expected to harshly discipline honest mistakes or terminate at the drop of a hat. In that case, unless my partner has a long track record of misconduct, why are they hiding it? But if the employer is likely to fire immediately then no, I'm not going to be the direct cause of their termination. Frankly why would I? An employer like that does not breed any loyalty and there but for the grace of god go I.

 

[DrParasite]

To turn the table, why accuse your partner of something you haven't done? I am now on 90 days probation for allegedly doing something I STRONGLY deny doing. No proof, I don't know who my accuser is (company policy!!!) and it stays on my record so if I 'do it again' I will be fired!!! Absolutely ridiculous. Some people ought to get a life...

ahhh yes, the beauty of working for a non-union company. no ability to confront your accuser, guilty until proven innocent, if a complaint is filed you need to defend yourself without all the facts, and even if you didn't do it, that doesn't matter, because discipline is subjective and arbitrary. And people wonder why I am in favor of EMS unions.... at least you have someone to push back when management treats you unfairly.

I was fired for not cooperating. I have no regrets about how I handled it. It would have served no purpose and ruined a partnership to play a role in his investigation. But I also didn't feel the need to lie for him, especially since the truth was readily available.

so instead of stating what happened, which would have ruined your partnership, you were terminated for not cooperating with management during an active investigation. So you are still buddies, but you don't have a job anymore, and you have a termination (with cause) on your record.. yeah, you definately came out ahead there...

As a general rule, I have my partner's back on almost all situations, especially my full time permanent partner. That doesn't mean I am going to lie for him or her, nor am I going to allow something to be done that harms a patient. But I am not going to be running to management with every little infraction that he does.

The corollary statement is I won't lie for my partner, and I won't take the fall for my partner when he does something stupid and get called on the carpet. Sorry, I didn't do the crime, so don't expect me to do the time for you, nor will I lose my job because you did something stupid.

Patient care comes first; not only that, but anything he does (or doesn't do) to a patient is my responsibility too. So if he doesn't do something, than I should be doing it. if I don't, than I am as guilty as he is. and if something happens, than we both take the hit.

If you have an issue with your partner, talk to your partner. if it doesn't go well, talk to your direct supervisor, unofficially. sometimes you just need a 3rd party to mediate the issue. If that doesn't go over well, put it in writing, give it to admin, and let them deal with it. that way, if something happens, your butt is covered. You will need to deal with this person until you get a new partner, so sometimes it's easier to let their personality quirks slide than make a big deal about a personal preference for how the call was handled.

 

[Brandon O]

so instead of stating what happened, which would have ruined your partnership, you were terminated for not cooperating with management during an active investigation. So you are still buddies, but you don't have a job anymore, and you have a termination (with cause) on your record.. yeah, you definately came out ahead there...

No, certainly not ahead. And I wouldn't say we were buddies; I haven't seen him since. But at the same time, I believe in doing this job according to certain principles, and if a company is going to terminate me for that -- particularly when it really had no bearing on the outcome of events -- I would rather work elsewhere. (In reality, the decision was pretty clearly made for business reasons, but that has little to do with this discussion.)

Otherwise I generally agree with your points.

 

[mycrofft]

Maybe it is better to quit a bad company than wait or ask to be fired?
WHat;'s the old (Greeks) saying...Some games are better lost than won.

 

[Brandon O]

While somewhat unfortunate, I think we can all agree it's true that among the many places an EMT might hang his shingle today (particularly in private EMS in this country), a large number of them are not looking out for his interests. Or his partner's. Or his patient's.

That's why we have to take care of each other. Because nobody makes it alone, and even at the best of times, it's not a very big team.

 

[mycrofft]

Brandon, agreed, except that breaks down when people become aware they can do better by using than cooperating, and admin runs employees as snitches to give them power and make them feel safe. Take it from a nurse.

 

[Brandon O]

Yep... and don't you feel like that's bad for you, bad for the work environment, bad for your quality of care, and in the end bad for your patients?

 

[Tigger]

I don't have any "rules" for these situations, I just try and take it case by case. There are partners that I don't like working with, but I'm yet to have one that I have really wanted to proactively report. However when management comes to me, I'm looking out for me first. If my boss says "your truck reeks of ciggie smoke, has so and so been smoking in the bay again?" I am not going to cover for him. We all no that's not allowed and its detracting to patient care or experience. I don't gratuitously break company policy and my partners know that, and they don't expect me to cover for them and I will not go to my bosses unless they come to me. The only exception would be a breach of patient care.

 

[FourLoko]

If a neither a patient nor a nurse has complained about this person how bad can it be?