Beer as a resuscitation fluid

[Melclin]

From: Cattermole GN, Chan DYS, Graham CA, Rainer TH. Beer as a burns resuscitation fluid. Emergency Medicine Australasia. 2010;22(2):195-6.

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1742-6723.2010.01279.x/full

Important news in the world of fluid resuscitation B)

We present the case of an unusual fluid resuscitation regime in a 65-year-old man with 40% burns. He fell into a garden fire, but believing the hospital to be closed, waited at home drinking six cans (2 L) of ‘San Miguel’ beer, with no other fluid intake, before attending the ED the next morning, 17 h after injury. His burn was assessed as mixed partial thickness, involving upper limbs, torso and face.

....

To our knowledge, this is the first report of burns resuscitation with beer... We do not advocate its routine use...However, the case does remind us that the large volumes of the Parkland formula might not be necessary. Alternatively, our patient may just have been fortunate in his choice of beer. ‘San Miguel’ (St Michael) is the patron saint of paramedics.

 

[MrBrown]

Did this bloke not think to ring up 000 and have Brown and Oz swann out the sky in thier big read flying contraption and give him some ketamine? Silly boy Brown would never turn down ketamine.

Say .... Brown wonders if Mrs Brown would taste ketamine in her food?

 

[medic417]

Medic417 wonders if Medic417 should report Brown for possible crime? Medic417 yes Medic417 should if Medic417 could report Brown even if there is a Frown.

 

[jrm818]

Coolest thing I've read in a while B)


Does it ruin the joke if I mention that they omitted to mention the potent anti-antiduretic hormone effect of alcohol?

 

[medicRob]

nice

 

[Akulahawk]

Great new burn slogan!

Got Burned? Get HAMMERED!!!!:wacko:

 

[bigbaldguy]

I always got drunk before I fell in the camp fire. Always seemed more proactive that way.

 

[Bon-Tech]

I always got drunk before I fell in the camp fire. Always seemed more proactive that way.

a little prevention goes a long way!

 

[EMS49393]

Does it work with Guinness? I'm pretty clumsy so burning myself is not out of the realm of possibility, I just wanna make sure I have the right beer in the fridge beforehand.

I so want a beer NOW!

 

[TransportJockey]

Does it work with Guinness? I'm pretty clumsy so burning myself is not out of the realm of possibility, I just wanna make sure I have the right beer in the fridge beforehand.

I so want a beer NOW!

Cold Guiness? Ugh. No accounting for taste there

 

[Melclin]

Considering that guiness is arse gravy of the worst variety, I don't think it matters if its cold or not.

Imagine how much pain he must have been in. Can you imagine sitting around a camp fire for hours sicking piss with a bloke with 40% burns to his face and chest!? What a f**king knob jockey.

 

[TransportJockey]

Considering that guiness is arse gravy of the worst variety, I don't think it matters if its cold or not.

Imagine how much pain he must have been in. Can you imagine sitting around a camp fire for hours sicking piss with a bloke with 40% burns to his face and chest!? What a f**king knob jockey.

Can you translate that from Ozzie to English?

 

[MrBrown]

Can you translate that from Ozzie to English?

Arse gravy of the worst variety = horrid liquid unfit for human consumption

sucking piss = getting drunk

bloke = male

F**king knob jockey = unsmart person

Kiwi and Ozzie are almost about the same so Brown hopes Brown got that right

 

[FrostbiteMedic]

Arse gravy of the worst variety = horrid liquid unfit for human consumption

sucking piss = getting drunk

bloke = male

F**king knob jockey = unsmart person

Kiwi and Ozzie are almost about the same so Brown hopes Brown got that right

We thank you for your translation Mr. Brown. It was well needed.....

 

[firetender]

Please don't jump my butt!

These all sound like references to non-heterosexual acts by males or guys doing unto themselves. Is that what most of the slang Down-Under is about?

Arse gravy....who needs a translation of THAT?

Sucking piss...only one image for that one!

BLOke...okay, I'm pulling your...ah, forget it!

F**ing knob jockey...a handy image.

 

[firetender]

But seriously, Folks...

Worked in an OR. Large man, mid-thirties, emergency appendectomy. Post-surgery, as he's in recovery, all of a sudden he starts hiccuping uncontrollably. Sure enough, stitches pop and there I am, catching bowels before they hit the floor -- LITERALLY!

Back to surgery, now a wire mesh sewn in. In recovery, hiccups start again and...you guessed it!

That's when they figured the guy was having the DT's, so they shot him up with sterile alcohol until he could get stable and home to his six-packs!

 

[Melclin]

You guys don't have google in America?

That's when they figured the guy was having the DT's, so they shot him up with sterile alcohol until he could get stable and home to his six-packs!

Wow, I thought diaz, thiamine +/-multivitamins was the go. Aren't they just ultimately making things worse?

These all sound like references to non-heterosexual acts by males or guys doing unto themselves. Is that what most of the slang Down-Under is about?

Arse gravy....who needs a translation of THAT?

Sucking piss...only one image for that one!

BLOke...okay, I'm pulling your...ah, forget it!

F**ing knob jockey...a handy image.

Arse gravy: diarrhea. Nothing to do with sex. An adequate description of guiness.

I said 'sicking piss' which was a typo. I meant to say 'sinking piss'. Piss is alcohol; a reference to what it becomes a little while after drinking it. Sinking it means drinking it. 'Sinking piss' or 'getting pissed' means getting drunk. Sometimes the term 'sucking piss' is used in reference to sucking on the bottle, but its not common. Again none of them are to do with sex.

For extra points, a 'piss pot' is an alcoholic or an enthusiastic drinker.

When one "pisses it up against the wall" it is a reference to having wasted something in the same sense as spending a whole pile of money on a night of drinking and pissing it all out at the end ("I earned heaps of money in that job but I pissed it all up the wall"), or wasting potential by spending time drinking rather than being productive: "I was really good a cricket but I just pissed it all up against the wall".

Bloke: ubiquitous term in Australia for a male.

Knob jockey: Definitely to do with sex, but not necessarily homosexual sex and its not really ever used in a homophobic way. I suppose it must have been a homophobic slur or a term equivalent to "slut" at some stage but I guess it lost that meaning. Sort of like saying someone is a wanka. Wanking means masturbating, but nobody actually considers suggesting that someone masturbates to be an actual insult anymore, its just an insult in its own sense, meaning stupid, idiotic, rude, a time waster or someone who is a bit useless.

 

[Veneficus]

But...

I Like Guiness.


It is a man's beer, not one of those piss colored ones all the girls add rasberry syrup to.

 

[Melclin]

It is a man's beer,

Now Vene, you seem like a clever sort of fellow so I'm sure you mean that in the sense that you have to be singularly masculine to tolerate something so foul.

If you soaked iron filings and dirt in the urine of a dying horse and topped it off with some stale wale semen whisked into a fine foam, you would have to throw it in the bin because you would still have failed in creating something as utterly undrinkable as guiness.

If, on the other hand, you want to drink a beer, anything from Tasmania will see you pleasantly surprised at how wrong you were to drink guiness.

 

[8jimi8]

Ive seen budweiser in the pt refrigerator before, as a prescription.