Funniest Story Your Instructor Ever Told You

[GhostEMT627]

Ok, I'm new to the forum and I apologize if this is already a subject.
My instructor, now director of the ER at one of the hospitlas here in Long Beach, told us a story that had a few of us in tears from laughing so hard.
Apparently while he was working as a volunteer, he made friends with a few of the nurses One of the nurses decided it was time to take a smoke break.

I don't know about any of you but I have the habit of always looking in people's rooms while I walk by. Its a bad habit I know, but my instructor has the same problem.

Anyways, he was walking down the hall with a nurse and he looked in a room and stopped. He walked into the room and yelled for his nurse friend. She came flying in behind him and he yelled at her to go get help. He started CPR and mouth to mouth. He had been at it for about a minute he said when the charge nurse came in and asked him, "What the $%#$ are you doing?" "I'm trying to save this woman's life!" The charge nurse kind of gave him a funny look and he yelled back, "Help me!" She looked at the woman and then back at him, "She has been dead for an hour." My instructor said that he jumped off and threw up everywhere.

His facial expression was priceless while he was telling us this but I can't even imagine...

Had to share. Apologies again if this is already a subject somewhere.

 

[Major.Huff]

Oh jeez, that is pretty insane. I think I could have had the same response. No BVM?

One of my instructors from class is a flight paramedic. This was during the winter, so he was telling us how a week ago a patient was snowboarding and took a nasty tumble down the hill. Well his helicopter was dispatched and after picking up the patient, he quickly discovered that prior to this wreck the patient ate a massive amount of food, because it was ALL over the cabin.
Once they arrived at the hospital and filled out the paper work, they were going to restock and remembered.. Hey. He puked, and it's about 10 degrees out. They had to chip the vomit off the windows, & floor! Ugh.

We were laughing so hard. Much respect for him.

 

[MTEMTB]

My instructor told us about her first CPR pt. She said when she was taught CPR they did not tell them the pt could vomit.
She was a motorcycle crash. Guy had eaten beer and pizza just before the wreck. She was doing the mouth to mouth and the pt vomited right into her mouth.
She said she turned and vomited too, cleared his airway and continued, says she can still taste that beer and pizza every once in awhile.

 

[Sasha]

What the heck is with all the doing mouth to mouth? I will never do mouth to mouth unless it's a family member that I know is clean, and even then, it's not a given. No, wont even do mouth to mouth on babies.

Funniest story my instructor ever told me is that EMTs were well paid and respected. Hahahaha.

 

[LucidResq]

I could give you all the particulars but this sums it up pretty well: baby unexpectedly delivered into mom's spandex pants while en route to hospital.

 

[MTEMTB]

Sasha try this happened like 30 years ago.

 

[adamjh3]

Funniest story my instructor ever told me is that EMTs were well paid and respected. Hahahaha.

Well, the little kids do give us funny looks when we're trying to eat...

 

[lightsandsirens5]

My instructor told several epinephrine stories that stuck with me.

First story: Teenage kid gets stung (or eats something or gets into something he shouldn't or whatever) and the mom breaks out the epi-pen. Except she thought it was for her to take to keep her calm when her son had a reaction. Needless to say when EMS finally arrived (my instructor was one of the crewmembers) they had one pt in severe resp. distress and one wired pt probably on the verge of v-tach. Ended up transporting both of them.

Second story: Trainee attempting to give epi via epi-pen places flat end on pts thigh and presses black button with his thumb. Apparently the needle got stuck into the bone, essentiall gving him IO epi (albeit in the thumb)

And of course I must add this one. Even though it is un-eventful. Seems like my instructor was an epinephrine mishap magnet. On scene he managed to stop a pt from giving himself his own epi-pen in the side of his neck. :wacko: That one could have been nasty. Potentially much worse than the first two.

 

[usafmedic45]

First story: Teenage kid gets stung (or eats something or gets into something he shouldn't or whatever) and the mom breaks out the epi-pen. Except she thought it was for her to take to keep her calm when her son had a reaction. Needless to say when EMS finally arrived (my instructor was one of the crewmembers) they had one pt in severe resp. distress and one wired pt probably on the verge of v-tach. Ended up transporting both of them.

Seen that as well, except it was the patient's aunt in my case. She seemed intrigued when I informed her that you can get diazepam ("mother's little helper" per the Rolling Stones) in autoinjector form.

Second story: Trainee attempting to give epi via epi-pen places flat end on pts thigh and presses black button with his thumb. Apparently the needle got stuck into the bone, essentiall gving him IO epi (albeit in the thumb)

Seen that too, only in my case the moron in question was a nurse demonstrating the "proper use" of the Epi-Pen to a patient and her parents.

 

[LondonMedic]

The funiest story I ever heard from a senior involves a funeral, some close friends, a crate of lager and gratuitous nudity.

 

[LucidResq]

Seen that too, only in my case the moron in question was a nurse demonstrating the "proper use" of the Epi-Pen to a patient and her parents.

One of my paramedic instructors was demonstrating with what he thought was a trainer. One of my fellow students said "if that's a trainer, why does it have an expiration date?" He shrugged the kid off and proceeded... nope... it was definitely real and he definitely had it backwards. Needle was bent at a 90 degree angle in his thumb. The other instructors tried to talk him in to going to the ER (out of concern for his thumb more than anything) but he refused. Can't say I blame him.

 

[Sasha]

One of my paramedic instructors was demonstrating with what he thought was a trainer. One of my fellow students said "if that's a trainer, why does it have an expiration date?" He shrugged the kid off and proceeded... nope... it was definitely real and he definitely had it backwards. Needle was bent at a 90 degree angle in his thumb. The other instructors tried to talk him in to going to the ER (out of concern for his thumb more than anything) but he refused. Can't say I blame him.

What is it with people and epi-pens? One of my EMT instructors thought she was using a trainer, too, and slammed it into her thigh, not only was it a real epi pen, but it was like years expired.

 

[lightsandsirens5]

What is it with people and epi-pens?

Ya I know! I thought the idea behind the whole "pen" thing (besides being a tremendous money maker) was so it was idiot proof.

 

[LondonMedic]

What is it with people and epi-pens?

I've heard of plenty of incidents, surely there's a big, fixable, safety issue here.

 

[jjesusfreak01]

I've heard of plenty of incidents, surely there's a big, fixable, safety issue here.

Well, they do put the correct instructions on the side of the pen. It says jab black tip into outer thigh. You can mistake black for clear unless you are blind.

As they say, you can't fix stupid.

 

[usafmedic45]

In the ongoing struggle between engineers trying to make things idiot proof and human breeding practices making bigger idiots, so far the latter is winning hands down.

I've heard of plenty of incidents, surely there's a big, fixable, safety issue here

Not really...at least not without doing the intelligence equivalent of ethnic cleansing on the population at large. Even as an injury prevention researcher (my non-clinical job), I have to reiterate:

As they say, you can't fix stupid.

 

[Lt.Col.Warren]

This one is great. Instructor told me that he was at the station when he got a call ordering him to report the the hospital Code 3 (they had no patient). They get in the Rescue and rush to the ER. When they get there, a guy comes running out shouting, "Bring your ring cutter!" It turns out that some guy was having trouble with his wife and while he was passed out the night before, she had slipped a closed wrench over his you know what. Problem is that the way the wrench was, the viens were closed off, but the arteries were not and it was blowing up. In the end it took a matanience crew and several hack-saws to get it off. As a fellow male all I could say was OW!

 

[wijjiam]

One of my paramedic instructors was demonstrating with what he thought was a trainer. One of my fellow students said "if that's a trainer, why does it have an expiration date?" He shrugged the kid off and proceeded... nope... it was definitely real and he definitely had it backwards. Needle was bent at a 90 degree angle in his thumb. The other instructors tried to talk him in to going to the ER (out of concern for his thumb more than anything) but he refused. Can't say I blame him.

epinephrine constricts the blood vessels. now doesent that meen (if you fill your thumb whith epinephrine.) cant it potentaly fall off.


my funniest instruter storry she is working on a pt. he can her god. he is bing uncoopurtive to say the least. now this is back in the day when the cars had intercoms. she is the teck. the driver goes over the intercom "THIS IS GOD NOW COOPURATE WHITH HER AND BE A GOOD BOY"

 

[mar7967]

epinephrine constricts the blood vessels. now doesent that meen (if you fill your thumb whith epinephrine.) cant it potentaly fall off.

Kinda...If you accidentally stick your thumb (or any finger for that matter) with an epi-pen, it will most likely get nice and cool, and pale. If you don't get some sort of treatment, you can probably lose your finger. I don't think it would fall off, but it would probably have to be amputated.

 

[lampnyter]

not really a story but, in my EMT class we had quizzes every class and after the first few quizzes more than half the class failed so our intstructor says, "i was going to give you a quiz today but according to my therapist your bad grades has put me into chronic depression so we will not be having any quizzes for a while..."