Strangest calls?

[traumaqueen5]

Responded to a mid 30's female pt with chest pain. walked into a small room to find a close to morbidly obses pt sitting in a chair. She said she was having chest pain but then stated she didnt want to go to the ER (to my relief because i didnt think the two of us were going to be able to lift her on our normal gurney) She said she ate too much then went and laid down on her stomach. she stated the gas build up in her stomach makes her heart throw PVCs and that she just needed to fart.........

 

[Lt.Col.Warren]

"Unit 34, respond to the main jail in reference to an immate c/o a swollen testicle."

 

[Lt.Col.Warren]

Responded to a local urgent care to transport a pt to the ED for a reference of abdominal pain. When we get there, the nurse advises us that the pt (a woman) would like to be referred to as a man. Pt looked like a woman, but dressed like a man and had some facial hair. Still not 100% sure what "it" was. Moved the pt to the truck and I had to ask the question, "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" Pt responded, "I thought the same thing because I've heard stories about men getting pregnant, but I don't want to be the first one." We start transporting with my partner in the back and my self driving. We have Type II trucks so I was able to hear the conversation between my partner and the patient. My partner, fed up with beading around the bush, asked the patient, " Do you a penis?" Pt replied, " It's much and I have'nt used it in a while, but it's there." I almost swerved off the road because I was laughing so hard.