Now what?
- Thread starter Emtgirl21
- Start date
Ridryder911
EMS Guru
- 5,923
- 40
- 48
Loose one of my own what? Pet, member of the service, family member? Need more information.
R/r 911
R/r 911
Ops Paramedic
Forum Captain
- 263
- 0
- 0
Are reffering to loosing a colegue?? Did the person pass away due to natural, unnatural causes or while on duty??
There is no text book to tell you how to deal with this. Yes, i had it once before (Other who have passed away were not as close as this person, i knew who they were, but did not know them personally). It was bad, bad bad. We (Another ALS and myself turned out to one of our classmates who passed with us) turned out to a MCA on the border of our areas. We came across some other accidents and got the call from our scene safety vehicle, that on of our fly cars was in a MCA.
Everything you know and are goes for a ball, you just want to get there. On arrival there was a well known (to the EMS, and a good one to have around) off duty ER Dr. who came across the accident. He auctally had to hit me hard against the head at one time and said: "Do the best what you do best". Just to proove that we are all human, 3 days after, he told me that he did not have any equipment with him, and only realised long after that there was a fully kitted ALS fly car with equipment inside (the one they were travelling in). The end result was not favourable, and she passed away two weeks later. Going to full honours funeral did help a lot, and we could some form of closure to the whole episode. Look for support from your friends and family, and your peers. Do not be affraid to seek professional help, we are not "Bulletproof".
FIY, there was another incident, exactly a year later on the same day, almost to the date. There where a lot of similarities, such as: An ALS fly car, same Paramedics treating on scene, same Heli crew, same destination hostpital, same outcome two weeks later...
There is no text book to tell you how to deal with this. Yes, i had it once before (Other who have passed away were not as close as this person, i knew who they were, but did not know them personally). It was bad, bad bad. We (Another ALS and myself turned out to one of our classmates who passed with us) turned out to a MCA on the border of our areas. We came across some other accidents and got the call from our scene safety vehicle, that on of our fly cars was in a MCA.
Everything you know and are goes for a ball, you just want to get there. On arrival there was a well known (to the EMS, and a good one to have around) off duty ER Dr. who came across the accident. He auctally had to hit me hard against the head at one time and said: "Do the best what you do best". Just to proove that we are all human, 3 days after, he told me that he did not have any equipment with him, and only realised long after that there was a fully kitted ALS fly car with equipment inside (the one they were travelling in). The end result was not favourable, and she passed away two weeks later. Going to full honours funeral did help a lot, and we could some form of closure to the whole episode. Look for support from your friends and family, and your peers. Do not be affraid to seek professional help, we are not "Bulletproof".
FIY, there was another incident, exactly a year later on the same day, almost to the date. There where a lot of similarities, such as: An ALS fly car, same Paramedics treating on scene, same Heli crew, same destination hostpital, same outcome two weeks later...
The death of a co-worker. Sorry took me a little bit to reply. It was a trauma code and a lot fo my co-workers were on scene so its affected everyone. I was actually on vacation. First one I've actually taken in about 18 months. I feel guilty I wasnt there to be a shoulder to cry on. Just to be there for moral support. Its just hard to see everyone in so much pain.
I Have Been there.. 2 Years ago my Fire dept chief had a massive heart attack on the way to an AFA.. We were deverted to his call, He was in full arrest upon our arrival.. Very Small community alot of pain for all. But the big thing for all of us that were involved with him was that we did everything that we could and thats all we could do, It just was not up to us what happened that day... We had a few CISD sessions which really helped alot as well...
BossyCow
Forum Deputy Chief
- 2,910
- 7
- 0
Rural area, we know EVERYONE.... there is no easy answer, it just plain sucks! Time helps, talking amongst each other helps.. but it still sucks. My husband works in a civil department and one of his co-workers died and his shift was the one answering the call, major trauma code...
The formalities of dealing with grief help. The memorial service, perhaps a photo in the station to remember the person. Best to reinforce the memories of who they were alive to diminish the memories of how they died.
The formalities of dealing with grief help. The memorial service, perhaps a photo in the station to remember the person. Best to reinforce the memories of who they were alive to diminish the memories of how they died.
firetender
Community Leader Emeritus
- 2,552
- 12
- 38
Death is something that we get to look right in the face. It all boils down to, in a sense, no more than a reflection of our own fragility. Yes, we'll miss the deceased, but far worse than that is "that could be me!" We get pummelled with it call after call with faces that don't have the connective glue that turns a patient into a person and then when someone we know and love bites it, everything gets topsy-turvey for a while because we REALLY got affected by that one, what will stop us from breaking out in tears on the next one?
We might. Or some of us do. I know I've been hit right in the heart by flashbacks of similarities to scenes my loved ones have not lived through (i.e. medic co-worker choking to death on a hot dog), but in the field, somehow the pain got translated into action.
Who knows better than us that the theory we're all gonna die may just end up being true? Maybe we should take Shakespeare's words seriously, "Let Death be your advisor!"
Death is not a roadblock. For the living it's a bridge to appreciation of what we have and no little sense of wonder that we get to live at all. There's really nothing left to do but celebrate the lives we have while we have them, and celebrate the lives that passed before us knowing will will come together again some day.
Listen to your heart. It knows where to lead you for the support you need. It led you here, didn't it?
We might. Or some of us do. I know I've been hit right in the heart by flashbacks of similarities to scenes my loved ones have not lived through (i.e. medic co-worker choking to death on a hot dog), but in the field, somehow the pain got translated into action.
Who knows better than us that the theory we're all gonna die may just end up being true? Maybe we should take Shakespeare's words seriously, "Let Death be your advisor!"
Death is not a roadblock. For the living it's a bridge to appreciation of what we have and no little sense of wonder that we get to live at all. There's really nothing left to do but celebrate the lives we have while we have them, and celebrate the lives that passed before us knowing will will come together again some day.
Listen to your heart. It knows where to lead you for the support you need. It led you here, didn't it?
rayemtjax77
Forum Probie
- 20
- 0
- 0
EMTGIRL21 dealing with death is hard to do.. even more so if its a death of a fellow FF/EMT/Medic. I had a Asst. Chief dies in a accident while responding to a fire. He rolled the woods truck. I knew him personally and it sucked. But knowing that you have the support system of the Fire department or EMS service will help deal with it. You need to talk with someone so that it does not bottle up inside.
medicp94dao
Forum Crew Member
- 83
- 4
- 0
It's hard just utilize friends, family and prayer. It is very hard so i hope you get through it.
paramedix
Forum Lieutenant
- 216
- 0
- 0
Been there. It is nothing I would wish upon my worst enemy to experience.
There are some colleagues that I consider very close friends and I do not even want to think about anything happening to them. It will take time to get through it, but talk to your friends...
There are some colleagues that I consider very close friends and I do not even want to think about anything happening to them. It will take time to get through it, but talk to your friends...