MariaCatEMT
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I've been an EMT-B for just over two years. I have been a volunteer firefighter/EMT-B with one department for two years, and am in the training phase with another ambulance service as a paid/on-call EMT-B. I am now, for the first time, dealing with an individual that is extremely difficult to train with on the ambulance service. I say very little when I am at the ambulance service. It's in another county, I really don't know folks well, and I have a lot to learn coming from a non-transport vollie BLS level FD. I'm not sure if the quiet approach is working for me, I am always polite, I always engage when spoken to or asked a question. Also, after calls, when I have questions I do ask them...and have found most of the P's and I's I've trained with to be accomodating, willing to share their knowledge and experience. I appreciate that a great deal, and always thank them.
However...there is one P I've been with a few times that I am now having problems with. When I was with her, it was apparant not only to me, but to the other EMT with us, and the nurses around us....that the P was frustrated and exasperated with me (all due to a cot snafu on my part). The eye-rolling, audible huffing and puffing, and impatient comments I felt were a bit inappropriate as the patient wasn't critical. I hadn't touched a cot since my clinicals and despite my asking multiple times at the station for someone to please go over it with me a few times, no one did. I felt stupid enough forgetting to lift before pulling, to lower the cot. Further, when I have been in the back of a rig with her.....there is no asking me, or instructing me.....(I could understand someone barking orders in a critical situation and have no problem with that) the tone is always derisive, and frankly I'm almost 40 myself and this person is late 30's I'm guessing.....but making faces? C'mon, we're not in kindergarden. I don't think it is in the patient's best interests to see that kind of drama. It makes me unconfortable, I know on least one occasion it made the patient uncomfortable.
And I may be getting written up (oh boy!) as I found out last night. Here's why. Since I am out of county, I stay at the station when I'm on call, and as I stated previously I am still in training, so I am on as a third. That's fine, no problem. I've been through two driving courses......one with my vollie fire department for a state-certification class for emergency vehicles. Excellent class, backing a fire engine through a serpentine was interesting! I also have experience driving with my first department. I also went through another emergency driving course with the ambulance service. Here's the hitch...since I stay at the station, when we get toned out, I would pull out the rig, get out and wait for the arrival of the primary team. I did this without thinking, as this is what we do at the fire department. First one in, pulls out the truck and gets ready for everyone else to show up. I was never told I couldn't do this, and I had done it several times over the past few months, and not one medic said a word to me about it.
Same aforementioned P....complains at a staff meeting nearly a month after I rode with her.....not having said anything to me or anyone else about it, that I pulled the rig out, shouldn't be doing it, and further "implied" she told me I couldn't do it, which never happened. The medic (a different one) I was with last night told me I can't pull the rig out, and I was advised of what had been said, etc etc. She was operating on the premise that I had been told not to do it. All I could do was inform her that I had indeed NOT been told, and that now that I know, I won't do it again. Not having ever been told not to, and nothing being in the written protocols about it, I'm truly wondering why this has turned into the big thing it now is. I'm not exactly sure what I am supposed to do or say as a "vollie" basic in training against a "full-time" medic if she actually states she told me not to pull the rig out, when she didn't. It then turns into a she said-she said situation, and I'm fairly certain I will be on the losing end of that stick.
Also, over the past several months this same P has made multiple negative comments about other members of the service as well. I don't want to hear that stuff! I don't want to know who she feels is stupid and why. I don't want to hear that the majority of the people on the department are idiots. Nor do I wish to be around someone with creative story-telling skills that pushes opinion as fact in an effort to hurt someone's reputation or career. I am quite sure this individual has excellent clinical skills as a paramedic. I've seen it, she's good, at times, impressive. Sucky co-worker people skills. When I am with her I feel like pasting a sign on my forehead that says "Yes, I am an idiot, it's true" just to spare myself of her making sure that I, and everyone around us, knows how she feels. Label myself before she does, I guess.
I am taking the wait and see approach to the whole write up thing, naturally I wish to "defend" myself but I don't want to over-explain the situation to death with my supervisors. I will wait and see if the director asks me, and I will answer honestly if I am. That's all I can do. But I am not sitting here wondering if there is more than a possible write up in store for me now. Other basics have also mentioned having problems. Most of the "vollies" on this service have had problems, and some of the "full timers" have mentioned the attitude.....that it exists and that's the way she is, etc.
What kills me is I have always recognized my position in all of this. Yes, I'm a basic, but just a basic, and further, pretty much inexperienced. Most of what I have done is with the FD, and a first BLS non-transport response. I did well in my class two years ago, and have already exceeded my CE requirements needed in four years, with two years left on my license. I try really hard to stay on top of things, keep up on my CE's, keep my nose in the protocols, and to turn every call into a learning situation. I would have to admit that being far from arrogant, I really run the other direction on the confidence level. And now, being run through the ringer with this gal, I am almost convinced I am the dumbest EMT on the planet. And to think I drive 50 miles round trip to pull shifts as a third, only to come home feeling more insecure in my skills, and thinking I will never make it as an EMT ever. I am sitting here this morning, extremely tired, having to go to my "real" job soon, believing I am truly stupid. I am so tired right now I am nearly in tears. Gads! Were I only about 5000 years younger.
I apologize for the novel, and thanks to anyone who reads this and doesn't fall over dead with boredom. But I do have a question......can someone please tell me why I am doing this again?:unsure:
However...there is one P I've been with a few times that I am now having problems with. When I was with her, it was apparant not only to me, but to the other EMT with us, and the nurses around us....that the P was frustrated and exasperated with me (all due to a cot snafu on my part). The eye-rolling, audible huffing and puffing, and impatient comments I felt were a bit inappropriate as the patient wasn't critical. I hadn't touched a cot since my clinicals and despite my asking multiple times at the station for someone to please go over it with me a few times, no one did. I felt stupid enough forgetting to lift before pulling, to lower the cot. Further, when I have been in the back of a rig with her.....there is no asking me, or instructing me.....(I could understand someone barking orders in a critical situation and have no problem with that) the tone is always derisive, and frankly I'm almost 40 myself and this person is late 30's I'm guessing.....but making faces? C'mon, we're not in kindergarden. I don't think it is in the patient's best interests to see that kind of drama. It makes me unconfortable, I know on least one occasion it made the patient uncomfortable.
And I may be getting written up (oh boy!) as I found out last night. Here's why. Since I am out of county, I stay at the station when I'm on call, and as I stated previously I am still in training, so I am on as a third. That's fine, no problem. I've been through two driving courses......one with my vollie fire department for a state-certification class for emergency vehicles. Excellent class, backing a fire engine through a serpentine was interesting! I also have experience driving with my first department. I also went through another emergency driving course with the ambulance service. Here's the hitch...since I stay at the station, when we get toned out, I would pull out the rig, get out and wait for the arrival of the primary team. I did this without thinking, as this is what we do at the fire department. First one in, pulls out the truck and gets ready for everyone else to show up. I was never told I couldn't do this, and I had done it several times over the past few months, and not one medic said a word to me about it.
Same aforementioned P....complains at a staff meeting nearly a month after I rode with her.....not having said anything to me or anyone else about it, that I pulled the rig out, shouldn't be doing it, and further "implied" she told me I couldn't do it, which never happened. The medic (a different one) I was with last night told me I can't pull the rig out, and I was advised of what had been said, etc etc. She was operating on the premise that I had been told not to do it. All I could do was inform her that I had indeed NOT been told, and that now that I know, I won't do it again. Not having ever been told not to, and nothing being in the written protocols about it, I'm truly wondering why this has turned into the big thing it now is. I'm not exactly sure what I am supposed to do or say as a "vollie" basic in training against a "full-time" medic if she actually states she told me not to pull the rig out, when she didn't. It then turns into a she said-she said situation, and I'm fairly certain I will be on the losing end of that stick.
Also, over the past several months this same P has made multiple negative comments about other members of the service as well. I don't want to hear that stuff! I don't want to know who she feels is stupid and why. I don't want to hear that the majority of the people on the department are idiots. Nor do I wish to be around someone with creative story-telling skills that pushes opinion as fact in an effort to hurt someone's reputation or career. I am quite sure this individual has excellent clinical skills as a paramedic. I've seen it, she's good, at times, impressive. Sucky co-worker people skills. When I am with her I feel like pasting a sign on my forehead that says "Yes, I am an idiot, it's true" just to spare myself of her making sure that I, and everyone around us, knows how she feels. Label myself before she does, I guess.
I am taking the wait and see approach to the whole write up thing, naturally I wish to "defend" myself but I don't want to over-explain the situation to death with my supervisors. I will wait and see if the director asks me, and I will answer honestly if I am. That's all I can do. But I am not sitting here wondering if there is more than a possible write up in store for me now. Other basics have also mentioned having problems. Most of the "vollies" on this service have had problems, and some of the "full timers" have mentioned the attitude.....that it exists and that's the way she is, etc.
What kills me is I have always recognized my position in all of this. Yes, I'm a basic, but just a basic, and further, pretty much inexperienced. Most of what I have done is with the FD, and a first BLS non-transport response. I did well in my class two years ago, and have already exceeded my CE requirements needed in four years, with two years left on my license. I try really hard to stay on top of things, keep up on my CE's, keep my nose in the protocols, and to turn every call into a learning situation. I would have to admit that being far from arrogant, I really run the other direction on the confidence level. And now, being run through the ringer with this gal, I am almost convinced I am the dumbest EMT on the planet. And to think I drive 50 miles round trip to pull shifts as a third, only to come home feeling more insecure in my skills, and thinking I will never make it as an EMT ever. I am sitting here this morning, extremely tired, having to go to my "real" job soon, believing I am truly stupid. I am so tired right now I am nearly in tears. Gads! Were I only about 5000 years younger.
I apologize for the novel, and thanks to anyone who reads this and doesn't fall over dead with boredom. But I do have a question......can someone please tell me why I am doing this again?:unsure:
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Erika
