if you responed to a scene with a dead loved one

[rescue99]

it would give me closure if they died in transport, at least i knew i did what i could.

This is one of the healthiest approaches I've seen. You will have a long EMS career if you so choose.

 

[reaper]

Start searching the drawers, looking for the will?

 

[rescue99]

Start searching the drawers, looking for the will?

:lol: Sorry...the subject ain't funny but seeing this kinda warrents a giggle.

 

[firetender]

Start searching the drawers, looking for the will?

Good job for setting yourself up for someone ripping your guts out while you're mourning. This business is all about what goes around, comes around. Wake up, Reaper, your stance demeans us all!

 

[firetender]

Start searching the drawers, looking for the will?

Good job for setting yourself up for someone ripping your guts out while you're mourning. This business is all about what goes around, comes around. Wake up, Reaper, your stance demeans us all!

If you are this way with your peers, what are the odds you're this way with your patients? And Rescue 99 is influenced by you; great example!

 

[firetender]

And...

I have been busted on this site before for being a hypocrite by reverting to the same gallows humor I rant against because it demeans the human being. I plead guilty! Yet, this is clearly a case of someone (one of US) trying to sort through new and deep personal challenges and coming here for help, support and perspective. That's a sacred trust, Gang, and we should hold it as such.

 

[reaper]

Good job for setting yourself up for someone ripping your guts out while you're mourning. This business is all about what goes around, comes around. Wake up, Reaper, your stance demeans us all!

If you are this way with your peers, what are the odds you're this way with your patients? And Rescue 99 is influenced by you; great example!

Time to look for a life?

It is called humor, it is used to break tension in a subject.

I have run on calls to family members and have dealt with the aftermath of them. There is nothing that anyone on this forum is going to tell The OP, that will help them deal with it.

This is something that can only be dealt with, at the time. You can not prepare for it, or think you are ready.

Don't ever bring my Pt care into question. I have been in this business for over 20 years and my Pt care has never wavered. I do not let this job burn me out or become disgruntled. I have enjoyed this profession for the Pt care. Some of us stay in the job, because of the Pt care that is enjoyed.

 

[rescue99]

Good job for setting yourself up for someone ripping your guts out while you're mourning. This business is all about what goes around, comes around. Wake up, Reaper, your stance demeans us all!

If you are this way with your peers, what are the odds you're this way with your patients? And Rescue 99 is influenced by you; great example!

Seriously? Really, seriously? Like I would ever let anyone ever influence my judgement.

No.1. I've been there when a family member has died and watched the scared, grief stricken faces of our fire department/police co-workers.

NO.2. Twice this situation has been within my immediate family. Same people responding, same responses on their faces. These same guys and gals always let me know when they've run on my grama. They often hear before I do, for obvious reasons. Ya think that's easy for them? It's no easier than it is for family when one is so close to peers.

Responding FD/PD folks are as professional with family as anybody I've ever seen. Certainly more so than Doc's and nurses can be...and far more professional about it in many cases. Even the biggest goof-ball has the professionalism to draw the line. I'm not worried about Reaper or his bad, bad influences. He's probably the most together guy on a scene because he has an outlet. Here, on this forum, he should be able to laugh a little and not get slammed too hard for it.

 

[VentMedic]

Responding FD/PD folks are as professional with family as anybody I've ever seen. Certainly more so than Doc's and nurses can be...and far more professional about it in many cases.

Why the hatred of nurses and doctors? Do you really see Doctors and nurses as uncaring and unprofessional? Have you ever spent 12 hours at the bedside of a good friend or co-worker providing their care and taking care of the family members. Chances are you have not seen what nurses do. Nurses are not unprofessional when it comes to death and dying. Howver, they do have more education and training in it and for the amount of death they see, they are taught how to deal with these situations more than some in EMS.

Reaper can make these comments because his other many posts have shown he has what it takes to do good patient care.

 

[Sasha]

Why the hatred of nurses and doctors? Do you really see Doctors and nurses as uncaring and unprofessional? Have you ever spent 12 hours at the bedside of a good friend or co-worker providing their care and taking care of the family members. Chances are you have not seen what nurses do. Nurses are not unprofessional when it comes to death and dying. Howver, they do have more education and training in it and for the amount of death they see, they are taught how to deal with these situations more than some in EMS.

Reaper can make these comments because his other many posts have shown he has what it takes to do good patient care.

I'm wondering why so many people are thinking in black and white "Paramedics do this, nurses are that way, and doctors think like this" Is there no room for deviation? are all the same? surly there are good and bad of each profession. I think that is clearly illustrated on the forum.

 

[rescue99]

Why the hatred of nurses and doctors? Do you really see Doctors and nurses as uncaring and unprofessional? Have you ever spent 12 hours at the bedside of a good friend or co-worker providing their care and taking care of the family members. Chances are you have not seen what nurses do. Nurses are not unprofessional when it comes to death and dying. Howver, they do have more education and training in it and for the amount of death they see, they are taught how to deal with these situations more than some in EMS.

Reaper can make these comments because his other many posts have shown he has what it takes to do good patient care.

Are we really gonna do this? Seriously? Maybe you'd like to check my employment records Vent? Perhaps you need medical records?? I don't know...what is it that drives angry people? For some odd reason I've been the target of hostile outbursts a little too often so please, find another target for awhile. I am getting somewhat bored with it all. Intractable anger
is not my thing.

The fact is; I've worked the floors in cardiac and medical step down units as a tech....12 hour shifts no less!! I've worked in the ER many, many times as a Medic as a part of our MICU duty. Do I get a cookie now? Let us not forget, I've spent months on end in hospitals as the parent along side some of the sickest kids in the world. I've met and shared space with these parents and their children, not just my own. I've been the bedside caregiver as the wife, the friend, the inlaw and mom. Soooo, let us not do this and call it a day, eh? Unless you've walked the walk as it were.....

Faith and humor are such wonderful gifts yet, so often left out of our lives. Friendly peice of advice?? I for one am confident that being sure of our faith and (or perhaps) a good old fashioned sense of humor would really do us all some good today and everyday. With that being said...:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[mycrofft]

Why bring a dead loved one to a scene?

Read Michael Moore's book.

I had to respond to a suicide by GSW to a fellow Guard member and have treated fellow Guard and sheriff dept members. You just do extra well for them. It changes your relatonship afterward.
Especially the one where our friend had boiling fondue oil on her clothes and we ripped them off of her....:sad:

 

[VentMedic]

Are we really gonna do this? Seriously? Maybe you'd like to check my employment records Vent? Perhaps you need medical records?? I don't know...what is it that drives angry people? For some odd reason I've been the target of hostile outbursts a little too often so please, find another target for awhile. I am getting somewhat bored with it all. Intractable anger
is not my thing.

The fact is; I've worked the floors in cardiac and medical step down units as a tech....12 hour shifts no less!! I've worked in the ER many, many times as a Medic as a part of our MICU duty. Do I get a cookie now? Let us not forget, I've spent months on end in hospitals as the parent along side some of the sickest kids in the world. I've met and shared space with these parents and their children, not just my own. I've been the bedside caregiver as the wife, the friend, the inlaw and mom. Soooo, let us not do this and call it a day, eh? Unless you've walked the walk as it were.....

So you have no respect for any of the many professsionals you have worked with or have seen in the hospitals to claim they are uncaring and unprofessional? You are the only one to have ever cared and definitely not the nurses or doctors? You set yourself up for criticism because of your "I" attitude. You also seem to fail to see health care as a team whether it is with your partner or other health care professionals.

Faith and humor are such wonderful gifts yet, so often left out of our lives. Friendly peice of advice?? I for one am confident that being sure of our faith and (or perhaps) a good old fashioned sense of humor would really do us all some good today and everyday. With that being said...:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

Where did I say humor was not important? I agreed that reaper has already proven his attitude towards quality patient care in his posts.

Now back to the topic. As others have stated, one would hope there are other providers at scene to take over and allow the EMT(P) be a concerned family member rather than having the responsibility of providing the actually medical treatment. No one knows how they will react in an unplanned emergency of a loved one. It can be difficult for the loved ones even when death is expected.

One should also not take the attitude that others in health care do not care especially the doctors and nurses but that includes EMT(P)s as well even if they are not displaying a lot of emotion each time a patient is dying or dead. A professional stance must be taken to help family members cope and to ensure they get through all the details to go on to the next step for funeral preparations and progressing through their grief. As a health care professional dealing with the death of a family member, one will need to be allowed or to allow themselves to be just a grieving family member and put the patch away for awhile. Again, hopefully there will be others at scene to allow this. If not, the partner may have both the patient and the other EMT(P) to be concerned about and that can be a tall responsibility.

 

[mycrofft]

If it's all about us, then we lost.

......................

 

[rescue99]

:deadhorse::deadhorse::deadhorse::deadhorse::deadhorse:

So you have no respect for any of the many professsionals you have worked with or have seen in the hospitals to claim they are uncaring and unprofessional? You are the only one to have ever cared and definitely not the nurses or doctors? You set yourself up for criticism because of your "I" attitude. You also seem to fail to see health care as a team whether it is with your partner or other health care professionals.



Where did I say humor was not important? I agreed that reaper has already proven his attitude towards quality patient care in his posts.

Now back to the topic. As others have stated, one would hope there are other providers at scene to take over and allow the EMT(P) be a concerned family member rather than having the responsibility of providing the actually medical treatment. No one knows how they will react in an unplanned emergency of a loved one. It can be difficult for the loved ones even when death is expected.

One should also not take the attitude that others in health care do not care especially the doctors and nurses but that includes EMT(P)s as well even if they are not displaying a lot of emotion each time a patient is dying or dead. A professional stance must be taken to help family members cope and to ensure they get through all the details to go on to the next step for funeral preparations and progressing through their grief. As a health care professional dealing with the death of a family member, one will need to be allowed or to allow themselves to be just a grieving family member and put the patch away for awhile. Again, hopefully there will be others at scene to allow this. If not, the partner may have both the patient and the other EMT(P) to be concerned about and that can be a tall responsibility.

 

[VentMedic]

:deadhorse::deadhorse::deadhorse::deadhorse::deadhorse:

Do you want to point out exactly what part of my post is a dead horse?

Do you not believe this topic should be discussed?

 

[rescue99]

Do you want to point out exactly what part of my post is a dead horse?

Do you not believe this topic should be discussed?

I believe such displaced anger is not normal nor healthy on so many levels, yes. Speak only for yourself and of yourself when attempting to tell people what they feel and what they need or experience. Empathy and sympathy is all we have unless those shoes we wear are their's. Since it is difficult to occupy the same shoes and someone else, speak only for yourself....

 

[VentMedic]

I believe such displaced anger is not normal nor healthy on so many levels, yes. Speak only for yourself and of yourself when attempting to tell people what they feel and what they need or experience. Empathy and sympathy is all we have unless those shoes we wear are their's. Since it is difficult to occupy the same shoes and someone else, speak only for yourself....

What exactly is wrong with my advice to allow the EMT(P) to be "a family member or loved one" instead of the provider it there are others on scene?

And what do you find fault with my statement here:

No one knows how they will react in an unplanned emergency of a loved one. It can be difficult for the loved ones even when death is expected.

At what part of my post did I say anything about an EMT(P)'s anger about death or tell them how they should feel?

 

[firetender]

Reaper can make these comments because his other many posts have shown he has what it takes to do good patient care.

Where did I say humor was not important? I agreed that reaper has already proven his attitude towards quality patient care in his posts.

Here's my point.

CARRERA is new. He/she obviously spent time searching through the threads. She/he came across a thread that was old, yet meaningful enough to take a risk, share a deeply personal story, and, within the context of the thread either seek or offer support.

And those who are intimate with the field excuse each other from insensitivity because, by what they SAY in this forum they give good patient care? I know the dynamic, I know how it works in the field, but in this particular case, the little crack was harsh and insensitive and running to the defense of the Cracker kind of defeats the purpose of the forum, does it not? I thought we were here, at least in part, to help each other deal with heavy duty stuff just like this.

But that's not important I guess. I'm probably just blowing smoke out of my behind. It looks like CARRERA kind of disappeared, though. I wonder why? A little feedback could be valuable for all of us from you CARRERA.

 

[VentMedic]

Here's my point.

CARRERA is new. He/she obviously spent time searching through the threads. She/he came across a thread that was old, yet meaningful enough to take a risk, share a deeply personal story, and, within the context of the thread either seek or offer support.

I don't believe the comment was meant for that person but rather to another made almost two years ago that happened to get quoted.

I do agree that humor should be wisely placed and not directed at the patient or their families and that includes those of the caregivers and their feelings. I also don't believe that an entire health care profession should be written off an uncaring because they do not always respond in a way that some might think as appropriate.