if you responed to a scene with a dead loved one

ulrik

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I’m just going into the wondrous field of EMT, put this scenario through my head and I am starting to accept seeing one of my friends or my family dead. but how would you feel?
 

BossyCow

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Pretty rotten actually.
 

karaya

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I couldn't fathom the thought.
 

motownems

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That’s a joyful thought. I would think it would probably depend on the type of scene. Responding to an elderly relative’s residence and discovering them DRT would be sad however I do not think it would be the worst. A messy MVA involving a loved one would be bad.
From a liability stand point I’m not sure most agencies would want you to be working on a family member.

I’m glad my agency is 200 plus miles from my nearest relative…
 

Ridryder911

EMS Guru
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Unfortunately, I have seen both sides. It is an overwhelming conflict of emotions that I would not want to be placed upon even my worst enemies. Your are torn apart emotionally by your intellectual scientific/medical side and then the humanistic/emotional side.

I hope I NEVER have to witness and feel again.

R/r 911
 

WuLabsWuTecH

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Wow, so here I am running through threads on EMTLife and all of a sudden I read this and fell like I've been slammed into a brick wall.

I think i might start running the other way? Hopefully I'll never have to find out (knocks on nearest piece of wood)

Anyway, now that i'v hit the brick wall i'm signing off of EMTLife for a bit lest the next thread be a nuclear warhead (or as Bush would say, 'nucular' warhead)
 

KEVD18

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From a liability stand point I’m not sure most agencies would want you to be working on a family member.

you wont always have the choice. if you work in a rural setting you might be teh only duty ambulance for miles. you might also be on a truck staffed medic/driver. or emt/medic. if your teh medic, its your call
 
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BossyCow

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The first time I performed CPR was on my father and he did not survive. I was 19 and not in EMS. It sucks, you live with it, get over it eventually and move on.
 

jazminestar

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i think about it often since a lot of people that i used to hang out with still party like they are 21......i really hope to never have to be there if something happens to one of them :(
 
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ulrik

ulrik

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i think i wouldn't be able to handle my mom's scene but others i could stomach.
 

fma08

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I'm thankful that I live in a... I guess larger city where there is a minimal chance of that happening. I'm not sure I could go work EMS back home.
 
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ulrik

ulrik

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it would give me closure if they died in transport, at least i knew i did what i could.
 

MMiz

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it would give me closure if they died in transport, at least i knew i did what i could.
Your view on that is contrary to most of what I see in EMS. Usually we have the "They're not going to die in my ambulance" philosophy. You do what you got to do to keep them alive or maintain their condition, then you pawn them off on the ER folks.
 

mycrofft

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You must fasten down and do what you are supposed to.

You honor them by doing what is right and best.
Sucessfully treating folks you know can be a blast, or the revelatons which occur durig the process can split you forever. Same for family I guess. As for death...a lot rides on how you "process" death.
 

traumateam1

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I cannot imagine reading the address off of a data head, or hearing the call on the radio.. the response there would be horrible.. I would probably feel like throwing up right there in the front of my ambulance. And once I get on scene.. I can't even fathom the feelings I would feel. I'm HOPING I can, even though this sounds horrible, push my emotions aside until the call is over, so I can provide the best patient care for a loved one of mine. I'm sure after the call is over and the adrenaline has passed, that's when it would hit me like a ton of bricks. I honestly hope that I never have to respond to that call.. however living in a city this size, where the majority of my family lives.. Unfortunately I'm sure it's just a matter of time.
 

BossyCow

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I guess it depends on how you react to situations like that. When the excrement contacts the ventilation device, I tend to become extremely focused and task oriented. Afterwards is when I react emotionally to the event.
 

Jon

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This has happened. Usually, other members recognize that it is "your" house or "your" car... and they intercept you and keep you out.

Hopefully, there are enough resources around that you don't need to be on that call. You won't be working in the right frame of mind... so you really need to recuse yourself.
 

emt19723

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ive been contmeplating this one myself since i now run in my parents' first due area.

answer: i have no idea
 

CARRERA

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I know this is a old thread but I just came across it and would like to share my experience that relates to this issue.

In September of 09' I had been in my EMT-B class for a about a month when I got a call from my mom's friend who was staying at her house for a few months. She told me that the paramedics were at the house because my mom was not feeling well the entire morning but came out of her room and asked her to call 911. I asked her to tell me exactly what she was complaining of and what she looked like. She explained that she had SOB, chest pain, pale, and anxious. As the paramedics arrived she had rapidly declined and was diaphoretic, cyanotic, confused and was going in and out of consciousness.

I tried to stay calm and told myself that she will be ok. I figured that with assisted ventilation and rapid transport, the ER will get her stabilized. Things didn't happen that way. She went into cardiac arrest with PEA during transport. They couldn't get her intubated and could not get an IV. The ER knew that she was a renal PT with hyperkalemia and treated her appropriately. They had her intubated and got a femoral line immediately. The ER worked for 30 minutes and but their efforts were unsuccessful. I arrived just after they went in so I didn't see how serious it was until a social worker came out and walked with meet with the ER attending.

Class was very difficult for a few weeks but I got through it, I know that's what my mom would have wanted. We spoke earlier that week and I had just told her about class, I had waited a while to tell her because I didn't want to disappoint her if I dropped the class. EMS was my mom's dream career but with physical disabilities it was not possible for her. She was ecstatic when I had told her about my plans.

I think the passion for this line of work is genetic, I can't count how many toy firetrucks and ambulances I had or how many times my mom and I would stop and talk to EMS personel and ask tons of questions. :blush:
 

firetender

Community Leader Emeritus
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I know this is a old thread but I just came across it and would like to share my experience that relates to this issue.
...

I think the passion for this line of work is genetic, I can't count how many toy firetrucks and ambulances I had or how many times my mom and I would stop and talk to EMS personel and ask tons of questions. :blush:

Many Thanks for your sharing, Carrera. How tough it must have all been! And we do get through it. Don't neglect feeling the pain and loss. Paradoxically,it helps you feel the beauty that much more deeply. No, it may not be today, but it will come.

It's a tough job we choose because at any time we could be called upon to attend to a loved one. Now that you know what it feels like to come real close, you'll be better equipped to support others as they deal with their loved ones in crisis.

Your Mom gave you lots of gifts, one of which was a love for this work; and that boils down to just a couple of words: Do what you can! That means learning from everything, including her death.
 

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