OP
OP
Sasha
Forum Chief
- 7,667
- 11
- 0
I appreciate all the advice and support I've gotten here, thank you so much.
How do you get over a call?
- Thread starter Sasha
- Start date
NomadicMedic
I know a guy who knows a guy.
- 12,237
- 7,018
- 113
I know a lot of us "tough as nails" EMS types are anti therapist, but I'll tell you... it really helps.
My therapist is an impartial sounding board. Someone who doesn't judge, won't talk about what you say to anyone, may or may not offer some coping strategy, depening on what you need or want... but will listen to you.
Investigate it. It's a huge help.
My therapist is an impartial sounding board. Someone who doesn't judge, won't talk about what you say to anyone, may or may not offer some coping strategy, depening on what you need or want... but will listen to you.
Investigate it. It's a huge help.
I don't know of any quick fix. There's no timetable. Bad calls can be like scars -- they fade, but they don't always go away completely. The thinking and talking that you've been doing should help you accommodate this bad experience in your life. The next time something similar happens, you'll be able to draw from the coping skills you're developing now.
OP
OP
Sasha
Forum Chief
- 7,667
- 11
- 0
I go to therapy twice a week for other problems. I don't want to bring work there. That's about the only thing I haven't brought there.
EMSDude54343
Forum Lieutenant
- 156
- 0
- 16
I’ve already posted my worse call on here on another thread so I won’t go into details, but it was a 2 yr old female, we did CPR over the phone and got a pulse back. My first successful CPR over the phone, it occurred during a point in my career were it seemed I was getting a ped code or still born every shift, so I was ecstatic. The pt died two days later at the local trauma center, allegedly beat to death by her adoptive mother. The case is actually on trial this week, and I may have to testify.
It has been almost three years, and I still think about it every day, even more lately because it is a high profile case where I live and am reminded of it constantly. Like others have said, find some partners that you trust and talk to them, talk to someone, it helps. Don’t try to ignore it or keep it bottled in; it will eat you alive, like it did me. It may never go away, but will start to be in the back of your mind instead of the front. Do your best to learn from it, take what you learn from it and apply it to every pt you see from now on. My best friend told me something and after it set in a few days later it has really helped… “Sometimes no matter what you do for your pt, whether good or bad, it is your pts time to die.”
It has been almost three years, and I still think about it every day, even more lately because it is a high profile case where I live and am reminded of it constantly. Like others have said, find some partners that you trust and talk to them, talk to someone, it helps. Don’t try to ignore it or keep it bottled in; it will eat you alive, like it did me. It may never go away, but will start to be in the back of your mind instead of the front. Do your best to learn from it, take what you learn from it and apply it to every pt you see from now on. My best friend told me something and after it set in a few days later it has really helped… “Sometimes no matter what you do for your pt, whether good or bad, it is your pts time to die.”
NomadicMedic
I know a guy who knows a guy.
- 12,237
- 7,018
- 113
I fully understand that, but what we do is tied to who we are. Even though we like to say we keep work and personal life separate, the two overlap and details from one bleed over into the other. Even if you don't want to make your therapist your confidant for those routine work issues, I feel this one is important enough that you might want to share...
I understand co-workers harrassing you about killing patients. I had 3 patients die in 1 week (working IFT); and alot of coworkers harrassed me about it. I had a weeks vacation scheduled 2 weeks later and 2 days into it started getting calls about why I was fired, and that the medical director pulled my Cert.
In fact the medical director called me to ask why he was getting so many calls about me.
Ignore them, or ask them why they haven't had a patient die on them; it is going to happen, the only way to stop it is to refuse the critical patients. (although one of mine was a 6 month old returning from hospital to LTC unit after diagnose of respiratory infection. She coded 40 miles out of Peds hospital that released her, 3 miles from LTC and 2 miles from small hospital. They were not happy when we came in with her).
Tallk to someone you can trust; no one here at EMTLife will harrass you, or if they do harrass them back. When we hear something like this we take you serious and try to help. Multiple kinds of advice, but we help.
In fact the medical director called me to ask why he was getting so many calls about me.
Ignore them, or ask them why they haven't had a patient die on them; it is going to happen, the only way to stop it is to refuse the critical patients. (although one of mine was a 6 month old returning from hospital to LTC unit after diagnose of respiratory infection. She coded 40 miles out of Peds hospital that released her, 3 miles from LTC and 2 miles from small hospital. They were not happy when we came in with her).
Tallk to someone you can trust; no one here at EMTLife will harrass you, or if they do harrass them back. When we hear something like this we take you serious and try to help. Multiple kinds of advice, but we help.
EMSDude54343
Forum Lieutenant
- 156
- 0
- 16
Agreed
firetender
Community Leader Emeritus
- 2,552
- 12
- 38
EMS is something humans do.
Here's something that's extremely important.
There is no separation between what we experience in the field and what we experience as human beings; every day of our working lives is a human experience.
Yes, we are able to compartmentalize, decide what is work and what is personal and distinguish between their pain and ours, yet, underneath all the rational understandings (if you want to use a metaphor) lives the child we once were who can get pretty freaked out by seeing things that are way above his/her comprehension!
In some of the stuff we're exposed to, we become as little children; this is a universal characteristic of humanity. Each person has different threshholds or "Hot Buttons" but with rare exceptions, it's part of our common wiring.
This stuff is so PIVOTAL to the conversation, with your Counselor, us or anyone in your inner circles (who can handle it!), and it gets sadly ignored ...for the most part...
But I have to say; "Look what's happening here!"
I'm very proud to be part of this Community!
Situations like this bring out heaps of valuable support, from many different angles, from human to human. Often they are loaded with personal, meaningful stories of devastating crash, burn and then recovery, and this provides much needed perspective, hope and understanding.
Y'all are awesome and each others' lifesavers. Thank you!
Here's something that's extremely important.
There is no separation between what we experience in the field and what we experience as human beings; every day of our working lives is a human experience.
Yes, we are able to compartmentalize, decide what is work and what is personal and distinguish between their pain and ours, yet, underneath all the rational understandings (if you want to use a metaphor) lives the child we once were who can get pretty freaked out by seeing things that are way above his/her comprehension!
In some of the stuff we're exposed to, we become as little children; this is a universal characteristic of humanity. Each person has different threshholds or "Hot Buttons" but with rare exceptions, it's part of our common wiring.
This stuff is so PIVOTAL to the conversation, with your Counselor, us or anyone in your inner circles (who can handle it!), and it gets sadly ignored ...for the most part...
But I have to say; "Look what's happening here!"
I'm very proud to be part of this Community!
Situations like this bring out heaps of valuable support, from many different angles, from human to human. Often they are loaded with personal, meaningful stories of devastating crash, burn and then recovery, and this provides much needed perspective, hope and understanding.
Y'all are awesome and each others' lifesavers. Thank you!
mycrofft
Still crazy but elsewhere
- 11,322
- 49
- 48
Most patients who arrest, but especially in the field, are not coming back. Period. We are playing for points, and sometimes we win, but usually not.
As to whether or not you did anything wrong, I wish upon you someone like a boss I had who sat down with me; we went through a call one point at a time, and he pointed out either what I could have done better, or told me I did well. Strictly Monday morning quarterbacking but without the blame BS.
As for feelings, which are only partly rooted in what we did and what happened, that is for each of us to handle with whatever resources we have.
As to whether or not you did anything wrong, I wish upon you someone like a boss I had who sat down with me; we went through a call one point at a time, and he pointed out either what I could have done better, or told me I did well. Strictly Monday morning quarterbacking but without the blame BS.
As for feelings, which are only partly rooted in what we did and what happened, that is for each of us to handle with whatever resources we have.