DV_EMT
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Good points, however you have to understand her emotional standpoiny. Considering that she has a lot of time invested into their relationship she may(correct me if I'm wrong) want to see if its salvageable.
Horrible time....need to chat :(
- Thread starter EMT20002
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Good points, however you have to understand her emotional standpoiny. Considering that she has a lot of time invested into their relationship she may(correct me if I'm wrong) want to see if its salvageable.
OP
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EMT20002
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I really do so badly. He is not being the man that I know and love. He has always been nothing but good to me all these years. I don't know what changed. I still love him so, so much and I feel literally sick to my stomach over this whole thing. I have never been apart from him in 12 years. I'm so, so, so scared of losing him and am willing to do whatever it takes to salvage this. I'm so scared and lonely. All I want is for him to come home.
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Sasha
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I really do so badly. He is not being the man that I know and love. He has always been nothing but good to me all these years. I don't know what changed. I still love him so, so much and I feel literally sick to my stomach over this whole thing. I have never been apart from him in 12 years. I'm so, so, so scared of losing him and am willing to do whatever it takes to salvage this. I'm so scared and lonely. All I want is for him to come home.
You'll regret it.
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CritterNurse
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I know you mentioned couple's counselling, but what about counselling for just yourself? There is no shame in seeking help from a professional to help get you back on your feet. You need to take care of yourself.
OP
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EMT20002
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This is so hard. I hate going to bed alone and waking up alone. We would always hug each other as we were going to sleep for 12 years. He and I have always been so, so close and know everything about each other. Everything. I could always be me around him and he could always be him around me. We love(d) each other unconditionally. This is the very first time in my entire life I have ever been alone. I haven't heard from him at all since his outburst at me via text messaging yesterday evening. I don't know where he is or who he's with. I'm SO worried about him. He doesn't have ANY of his medications with him and he hasn't taken them in days, I'm sure. He needs his insulin. He needs his other medications, too. I don't have any idea why he's doing this. Like I said, when this whole thing started on the night of Wednesday the 26th, everything had been totally normal earlier in the day. We never even had an argument...nothing. It was like any other day. He just never came home from work and went out drinking with coworkers for the first time ever. He doesn't even drink. I don't know if it's some sort of medical condition causing him to act out this way, a midlife crisis, lack of sleep, job stress, or a combination of all. He has been saying this whole time (when I do hear from him) that it's all about money and how I just want to spend and spend and spend, which isn't even true...I swear it's not. He's acting like this is 100% my fault and I didn't even do anything wrong...at least not wrong enough to deserve this torture. :sad: We're far from rich, but we do both have good payment jobs and we're not doing THAT bad. I think he is just using money problems as a cover up for something bigger, and I don't know what. I keep trying to figure all of this out in my head, but I just can't. None of it makes any sense at all. I just miss him so much. I'm so tired of crying and worrying nonstop every day. :sad: I keep telling myself that he has to snap out of this at some point...he has to come home at some point....
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EMT20002
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He just texted me after not contacting me since last night and said he's coming by tomorrow to get his computer and some other stuff. I told him that we need to talk and he said no. I think he's been drinking. I then said "Okay, then that's your choice. I'm not going to force you, but I think we can get through this and I still love you." :sad:
I then said "Okay, then that's your choice. I'm not going to force you, but I think we can get through this and I still love you." :sad:
Sasha
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He just texted me after not contacting me since last night and said he's coming by tomorrow to get his computer and some other stuff. I told him that we need to talk and he said no. I think he's been drinking.
men don't like it when you sound desperate.
Live your life, be happy without him, act like you don't need him and he will be absolutely beside himself with jealousy.
OP
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EMT20002
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I think you're right. I'm not texting him anymore. I can't take this anymore. It has been going on for over a week now. :sad:
Sasha
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It's NOT been going on for over a week, he's made it pretty clear it's over. You're just refusing to accept it. It's OVER. Stop trying to sound desperate and get him back.
Start getting your life back together. Yeah, the empty space in bed is gonna suck but it's going to suck more the longer you dwell on it. Get going girl, get on with your life and stop giving him this much power over you.
firetender
Community Leader Emeritus
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Sasha and EMT20002
Now that you've gotten to know each other, please take the converstation over to the PM Dept.
Thanks
Now that you've gotten to know each other, please take the converstation over to the PM Dept.
Thanks
BandageBrigade
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Not trying to sound argumentative, but why does it need too be taken to pm if the op still wishes to be public? Are they not still on topic? It doesn't really matter, just curious is all.
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EMT20002
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I was actually wondering the same thing. I do want it to stay public.
Sasha
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...why? Are you hoping he somehow sees?
Not gonna play part in that.
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OP
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EMT20002
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No. He doesn't even know about this forum. There's no way he'll ever see this unless I specifically show it to him myself. He doesn't even have his computer with him wherever he is. Both his desktop and laptop are here. I have been an EMT since I was 17 and have been a member of this forum for a while. I just came here seeking support and advice during the hardest time I have ever been through in my entire life, but I guess I won't anymore.
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firetender
Community Leader Emeritus
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Maybe I was crude but the point I was trying to make is that you came here with a problem (only very peripherally related to EMS), you found some people willing to talk and advise and support your process so, please, utilize them.
I'm happy you came here for that support but fail to see how airing more and more details of the story publically would serve the purpose of this Forum which is essentially discussion of topics related to EMS.
You didn't violate any Community Rules. I did hear you asking for support and I did see you get it from people here, so what I'm saying (in support of you) is reach out personally (PM) to whomever you found here that you can trust. This IS a hard time for you, you deserve support and I want you to get it, so here's my suggestion for another way you can use EMTlife that might be more productive.