firetender
Community Leader Emeritus
- 2,552
- 12
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There's things you have control of, and there's things you don't.
You can't control the actions or words of others.
However, you can control how YOU let them in.
Right now, being off-balance, you're likely interpreting most everything (simple gestures and the like from the others) as Negative. That's completely part of the process.
You're raw now, but the one thing you can stop is wondering if they're right. They're not.
There's nothing wrong with you, you're going through the natural adjustment period. Bossy's right about a "there's no one really here until they stay" attitude. And yes, it is true, the fact you're a woman is still a prejudice-generator. But don't bother trying to please them.
Keep your focus on yourself and what you're doing, not on them. Focus on yourself doesn't mean "How can I be more like a person they can accept."
Keep focusing on the utilization of your strengths within the context of the moment-to-moment things you have to deal with. Focus on what will make you better at the job you're being asked to do, not the personalities you have to deal with.
The name of the game is by doing that, you take THEIR focus off of what you can't do or do right, and put it on who you are and what you ARE doing.
From that point on, remember TIME WOUNDS ALL HEELS.
The ones who take the time to notice will be the ones carrying the others with them. Let the idiots continue to be idiots, by no means adapt to them. Resistance (either to yourself, as in trying to be good for them or actually confronting them) just feeds them.
Don't feed them, feed yourself.
You can't control the actions or words of others.
However, you can control how YOU let them in.
Right now, being off-balance, you're likely interpreting most everything (simple gestures and the like from the others) as Negative. That's completely part of the process.
You're raw now, but the one thing you can stop is wondering if they're right. They're not.
There's nothing wrong with you, you're going through the natural adjustment period. Bossy's right about a "there's no one really here until they stay" attitude. And yes, it is true, the fact you're a woman is still a prejudice-generator. But don't bother trying to please them.
Keep your focus on yourself and what you're doing, not on them. Focus on yourself doesn't mean "How can I be more like a person they can accept."
Keep focusing on the utilization of your strengths within the context of the moment-to-moment things you have to deal with. Focus on what will make you better at the job you're being asked to do, not the personalities you have to deal with.
The name of the game is by doing that, you take THEIR focus off of what you can't do or do right, and put it on who you are and what you ARE doing.
From that point on, remember TIME WOUNDS ALL HEELS.
The ones who take the time to notice will be the ones carrying the others with them. Let the idiots continue to be idiots, by no means adapt to them. Resistance (either to yourself, as in trying to be good for them or actually confronting them) just feeds them.
Don't feed them, feed yourself.
I'm a stay at home mom, wanted to be an EMT, took the class, passed the tests, now I'm an EMT. :lol: That's it, that's all. Also, someone clued me in that even the slightest hint of natural eye shadow and lipgloss is really... prissy/girly? I dunno. I feel like an alien when I go to volunteer, but I'm not leaving my **lip gloss behind!!!
