gradygirl
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I think I'm heading towards a relationship with a friend and coworker. What are y'all's thoughts?
Dating within your service
- Thread starter gradygirl
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fm_emt
Useless without caffeine
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Don't dip your pen in the company ink!
Uh, well, since you lack the proper appendages to make that statement relevant.. uh..
I strongly advise against getting involved with co-workers. It's too risky. Things can go south and get really messy...and that's never a good thing to have around the office.
I just broke up with my boyfriend. He is a paramedic where I work and I'm an EMT. Guess what I still have to see him and I still have to work with him and its HARD. For me the break up would be so much easier if I didnt have to see him but guess what...he's still there and I have to listen about his new girlfriends and all that.....so yea I did it i got the T-shirt and i will not do it again.
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IMHO, just imagine the worst parts of that person, now imagine having to work with them for 24hrs straight, now imagine that they absolutely hate you on top of it all. Is it really worth it?
Sometimes it's hard not to become attracted since you spend so much time together...BUT, like the others mentioned, it really stinks if you break up.
DT4EMS
Kip Teitsort, Founder
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Hey Girl................
I have been around for a long time. I have seen a lot of relationships come and go because of two people spending so much time together.
I know of only ONE that has stood the test of time.
Emotionally you will not listen to anything posted here. Soooooooo, if you do let this thing get started, have a back-up plan (like another place to work).
Good luck......... You know I only say it because I care
I have been around for a long time. I have seen a lot of relationships come and go because of two people spending so much time together.
I know of only ONE that has stood the test of time.
Emotionally you will not listen to anything posted here. Soooooooo, if you do let this thing get started, have a back-up plan (like another place to work).
Good luck......... You know I only say it because I care
Medic's Wife
Forum Crew Member
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The good side- you get to see eachother 24/7
The bad side- you get to see eachother 24/7
Another thing to think of is that there could be complications down the road if one of you were to be promoted to supervisor, then one would be in an authoritative position over the other, and that could get messy, if company policy will even allow it.
Good luck whatever happens!
The bad side- you get to see eachother 24/7
Another thing to think of is that there could be complications down the road if one of you were to be promoted to supervisor, then one would be in an authoritative position over the other, and that could get messy, if company policy will even allow it.
Good luck whatever happens!
oldschoolmedic
Forum Lieutenant
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It can work, but you need ground rules first. Discuss the possible outcomes of promotions, break-ups, etc... Know up front what you are getting into and explore how you would get out of it. On the job relationships are very tricky things to negotiate and usually cause more problems than they are worth. Keep in mind you are in a high stress job, and that causes all sorts of emotional responses you may not have the experience to deal with. Make sure before you take the time to "seal the deal" that he wants the same things out of a relationship as you do. The hardest thing to live down on the job is a bad relationship because everyone will know about "that little thing you like to do" if he is just into it for a piece of ***. Speaking on behalf of my gender, men in general are pigs, sorry. I met my wife on the job and it has been the best seven years of my life. Good luck with your choice. P.S. I was her supervisor and it opened a whole can of worms...
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MedicPrincess
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Look....lets get down to the basics here...
1. Is he/she hot?
2. How hot is he/she?
3. Take the grossest/most annoying thing that person does and imagine hearing/seeing/smelling/tasting it 24 hours a day/7 days a week. Only think about that, because eventally thats all your going to be thinking about anyway.
4. When it ends (lets face it, MOST of them do in this biz), how are you going to feel seeing him/her with someone else? Doing the things you loved to do with him/her? Having him/her look at that other person in a way you know good and well should be directed at you?
Its possible to make it work out fine. Its also very possible that should it end, it is ugly and one or the both of you cannot be in the same room together anymore.
Tread very lightly, take it very slowly......
Above all....
BE CAREFUL....its all about "scene safety" and "BSI" baby!!
1. Is he/she hot?
2. How hot is he/she?
3. Take the grossest/most annoying thing that person does and imagine hearing/seeing/smelling/tasting it 24 hours a day/7 days a week. Only think about that, because eventally thats all your going to be thinking about anyway.
4. When it ends (lets face it, MOST of them do in this biz), how are you going to feel seeing him/her with someone else? Doing the things you loved to do with him/her? Having him/her look at that other person in a way you know good and well should be directed at you?
Its possible to make it work out fine. Its also very possible that should it end, it is ugly and one or the both of you cannot be in the same room together anymore.
Tread very lightly, take it very slowly......
Above all....
BE CAREFUL....its all about "scene safety" and "BSI" baby!!
OP
OP
gradygirl
TROUBLE
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OK, here's the other part of the equation that I failed to mention. Per company policy, no two people who are dating/married/cohabitating are allowed to work together. Period. End of story. If you do, you can get fired.
Also, he works days, I work nights. I'm part time, so it's not every night.
And I love y'all. I can always count on your honest opinions.
Also, he works days, I work nights. I'm part time, so it's not every night.
And I love y'all. I can always count on your honest opinions.
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DT4EMS
Kip Teitsort, Founder
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Not to sound like Bill Clinton, but define working together.
Working together as in, for the same company?
Working together as in, on the same shift (on at the same time)?
Working together as in, riding in the same bus/rig/ambulance/car/buggy/insert-your-ride-here?
BossyCow
Forum Deputy Chief
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Still not a good idea. There are so many different problems that can happen. First, starting a relationship that you know can get you fired is always a bad thing. Second, there is a reason the company has that policy, because so many times in the past they have had to choose which of the two now broken up workers they were going to fire that they wrote a policy to cover their butts.
Even if the relationship works, its still not a good idea. It will affect the way your co-workers regard you professionally. Work relationships is a highly unprofessional behavior.
Even if the relationship works, its still not a good idea. It will affect the way your co-workers regard you professionally. Work relationships is a highly unprofessional behavior.
It's a big enough place where you wouldn't have to work in the same ambulance or on the same shift. There may be a little bit of an over lap of shifts. I meet my wife while she was working for the competing company which was then bought out by he company I worked for (pre AMR). We didn't work the same shift normally. Once and a while we would meet up at a hospital to say hi between calls.(everything proper)
You would be far from the first two people to date there.
Maybe I'll see you around, I put in for a bunch of Hartford shifts for April.
You would be far from the first two people to date there.
Maybe I'll see you around, I put in for a bunch of Hartford shifts for April.
Ridryder911
EMS Guru
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I have worked at many places that did not allow such.. I personally, have attempted to refrain from it. A wise man advised me .. never pick your date and check from the same place... *cleaned up the language)
I have worked where my spouses worked with me.. it was hard sometimes. Ironically, at the flight service I had worked at never new my relief was my wife at the time, nor any of the flight crew except one, until she left for another position we finally told them. She kept her maiden name, and we kept it strictly professional. to say the least they were very shocked.. as well some was red from embarrassment, wondering if they ever had something bad or inappropriate..LOL
R/r 911
I have worked where my spouses worked with me.. it was hard sometimes. Ironically, at the flight service I had worked at never new my relief was my wife at the time, nor any of the flight crew except one, until she left for another position we finally told them. She kept her maiden name, and we kept it strictly professional. to say the least they were very shocked.. as well some was red from embarrassment, wondering if they ever had something bad or inappropriate..LOL
R/r 911
OP
OP
gradygirl
TROUBLE
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OK, working together means on the same rig. Or, if one is a supervisor, they cannot be in a supervisory position over their sig. other. Not a problem, I'm in class while he's on the road. He works the 6a-6p at the end of the week. I work 7p-7a overnights on Fridays/Saturdays.
Also, we've been strictly professional any time we've been on the clock. We did both start wrestling in the hallway one day, but, as fyrdog can attest to, that's pretty typical for everyone at Hartford AMR. I mean, heck, I've gotten into a wrestling match with my supervisor...
fyrdog, hope to see you soon. I typically do evenings or overnights at the end of the week.
Also, we've been strictly professional any time we've been on the clock. We did both start wrestling in the hallway one day, but, as fyrdog can attest to, that's pretty typical for everyone at Hartford AMR. I mean, heck, I've gotten into a wrestling match with my supervisor...
fyrdog, hope to see you soon. I typically do evenings or overnights at the end of the week.
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T,in my honest opinion,I dont think it will be a good idea. I do know for a fact that it does happen though and it is bound to happen if you work with someone long enough but you have to stop and think "what happens if we have a fight and we are working together the next day,is the subject of the fight gonna be brought up?"
Medic's Wife
Forum Crew Member
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problem is though, people leave or go part time, partners/shifts change....what then?