Hi all!
So I worked as an EMT in a small town in the Northwest about 6 years ago.
It didn't go so well. I've reflected on why.
First, I had an alcohol problem that began early in my adolescence that I hadn't taken care of. I wouldn't say the stress of the job "drove" me to drink, but it certainly was a good excuse. In all actuality I was drinking regardless, whether I was washing dishes or working on an ambulance. I ultimately quit the job after being confronted by police during one of my drinking benders. They ultimately took me home instead of arresting me for public intoxication. They did tell my boss though, as they knew who I was, so I quit before I could get fired. Over the next few years my drinking got worse. It took 3 inpatient stays to finally get sober but I did it.
Second, I was completely unprepared for the job. I hadn't taken my training as seriously as I would have liked, and found myself overwhelmed by what the job really was. Practicing for emergencies and actually being in emergencies are two different things. The problem was allowing feelings of anxiety to cloud my mind on calls. Some calls I was able to "focus in" and get the job done. Other calls, not so much. The guy training me told me I was below average, and in his opinion I wasn't going to make it. It was a fair assessment, though I think he failed to see what I was doing right. I was a great communicator, for one. I was really good at talking to patients and their families, and my assessment skills were decent. Also, when I was on point, I was on point. One car accident call, broken glass, backboard, blood, and I totally ROCKED it. For whatever reason, I just zeroed in, did my job, and knocked it out of the park. My strengths are my analytical and communication skills. I can do assessments and communicate with patients and coworkers well. My weaknesses are the anxiety of calls sometimes causing me to "freeze up" and made it difficult to apply my training. It didn't happen all the time, but it did happen. One call I was so fired up I had trouble getting the gurney out of the ambulance. My coworker said "we gotta go," pushed me aside, and did it.
Which brings me to today. I have a few years of sobriety under my belt and I am very strong in my recovery. I manage stress very well, with a great self-care routine, that includes adequate sleep, relaxation, bible study, spirituality, church, recovery groups, hobbies, time with friends and family, socialization, and of course, Facebook memes. My life has radically changed for the better as I have transformed myself. I have developed strong morals and ethics as well.
So my return to EMS depends on two things: managing the stress of the job so as not to drink. That's number one. If I drink, it's game over. Second is managing my anxiety on scene so that I can think straight and get the job done. As I have had a tremendous amount of experience in high stress situations since then (I work in the inpatient mental health field, which is wild in its own right, as I'm sure you know from your psych calls), I am confident in my ability to do this. I seem to have slowly but surely gained an ability to center myself, block out the anxiety, and act. I do this by utilizing mindfulness and hyperfocus. I block out anxiety and focus on each task, one at a time, and do each task as competently as possible.
A true test of this was my Grandma's stroke. About a month ago I found my Grandma laying on the floor. My training seemed to flood back to me. I used the fireman lift (I think that's what it was called) to help her into a chair and began assessing. It took me about 5 seconds to determine "stroke." I remained calm and focused, got EMS on the way, did everything that they asked of me, and got her to the hospital immediately. I rocked it. Not to toot my own horn, but I may have saved her life. That's what my family says, anyway. Afterward, my grandma said I'd be great in the medical field, so here I am, questioning whether a return to EMS is feasible.
Anyway, let me know what you think.
So I worked as an EMT in a small town in the Northwest about 6 years ago.
It didn't go so well. I've reflected on why.
First, I had an alcohol problem that began early in my adolescence that I hadn't taken care of. I wouldn't say the stress of the job "drove" me to drink, but it certainly was a good excuse. In all actuality I was drinking regardless, whether I was washing dishes or working on an ambulance. I ultimately quit the job after being confronted by police during one of my drinking benders. They ultimately took me home instead of arresting me for public intoxication. They did tell my boss though, as they knew who I was, so I quit before I could get fired. Over the next few years my drinking got worse. It took 3 inpatient stays to finally get sober but I did it.
Second, I was completely unprepared for the job. I hadn't taken my training as seriously as I would have liked, and found myself overwhelmed by what the job really was. Practicing for emergencies and actually being in emergencies are two different things. The problem was allowing feelings of anxiety to cloud my mind on calls. Some calls I was able to "focus in" and get the job done. Other calls, not so much. The guy training me told me I was below average, and in his opinion I wasn't going to make it. It was a fair assessment, though I think he failed to see what I was doing right. I was a great communicator, for one. I was really good at talking to patients and their families, and my assessment skills were decent. Also, when I was on point, I was on point. One car accident call, broken glass, backboard, blood, and I totally ROCKED it. For whatever reason, I just zeroed in, did my job, and knocked it out of the park. My strengths are my analytical and communication skills. I can do assessments and communicate with patients and coworkers well. My weaknesses are the anxiety of calls sometimes causing me to "freeze up" and made it difficult to apply my training. It didn't happen all the time, but it did happen. One call I was so fired up I had trouble getting the gurney out of the ambulance. My coworker said "we gotta go," pushed me aside, and did it.
Which brings me to today. I have a few years of sobriety under my belt and I am very strong in my recovery. I manage stress very well, with a great self-care routine, that includes adequate sleep, relaxation, bible study, spirituality, church, recovery groups, hobbies, time with friends and family, socialization, and of course, Facebook memes. My life has radically changed for the better as I have transformed myself. I have developed strong morals and ethics as well.
So my return to EMS depends on two things: managing the stress of the job so as not to drink. That's number one. If I drink, it's game over. Second is managing my anxiety on scene so that I can think straight and get the job done. As I have had a tremendous amount of experience in high stress situations since then (I work in the inpatient mental health field, which is wild in its own right, as I'm sure you know from your psych calls), I am confident in my ability to do this. I seem to have slowly but surely gained an ability to center myself, block out the anxiety, and act. I do this by utilizing mindfulness and hyperfocus. I block out anxiety and focus on each task, one at a time, and do each task as competently as possible.
A true test of this was my Grandma's stroke. About a month ago I found my Grandma laying on the floor. My training seemed to flood back to me. I used the fireman lift (I think that's what it was called) to help her into a chair and began assessing. It took me about 5 seconds to determine "stroke." I remained calm and focused, got EMS on the way, did everything that they asked of me, and got her to the hospital immediately. I rocked it. Not to toot my own horn, but I may have saved her life. That's what my family says, anyway. Afterward, my grandma said I'd be great in the medical field, so here I am, questioning whether a return to EMS is feasible.
Anyway, let me know what you think.