sweet sweet aromas of ems

G

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Well it's official, I've been doing this too long. I was in a lower-end nursing home today and they were cooking breakfast. I took a big whiff of the scrambled eggs and told my partner how nice it would be to have some of that food. My emt student was trying not to gag at the very strong stench of urine that I didn't even notice until she brought it up. Then we got to our pt, some crazy old man who was having the time of his life reaching down into his diaper and pulling out it's contents and holding it up so we could get a good whiff. When I saw this, I started laughing with the old man and look over at my partner and the emt student who both had a look of abhorrent revulsion that was priceless.

Earlier this week, I was giving my report to the hospital via cell phone and the nurse couldn't understand me. I said, of course you can't understand me I'm wearing an oxygen mask turned up to 25 lpm, eta 5 mins and I hung up the phone. When I got to the hospital she understood why, biggest smelliest, decubitus ulcer they had ever seen.

I love this job.
 
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I know, it's just like when you go out to dinner at a REALLY nice restaurant to have a 8 course dinner and wolf it down in 15 min. 20 min. if you have a bottle of wine!!:P and at the same time talk about the run from hell at the dinner table and make all of the other partons turn green and lose their appetite, while you and your dinner guest (who is also in EMS) eat with gusto!! God I love this job too!!!:wacko: :)
 
your so immune you could probably eat at McDonalds now?

~S~
 
I made four tables of people move away after a waiter asked me a stupid question one night. I went out to eat with my (now ex-)wife, and I had just come from work so I had on my hero coat and had taken off my duty shirt but still had on my work t-shirt. So we get seated and Todd who will be our server notices my shirt and says, "Are you a paramedic?" Now we have only just gotten there, the other folks involved are eating either their appetizers or main courses. I told Todd I was a paramedic. He then drops the bomb everyone asks...."What's the grossest thing you've ever seen?" Well it had been a rather long day at work, pulled an extra twelve after a heinous twenty-four, so I was kind of touchy. I looked him right in the eye and began describing a motorcycle wreck involving a young man who whilst operating in a most intoxicated state drove through a barbed wire fence, his head hit the post (no helmet law in SC) and spewed gray matter everywhere while his body was sliced open by the barbed wire throwing viscera around at 60 miles an hour. My partner and I concluded this to be injuries not compatible with life, and so for our being the only ones left on the scene we got to help the coroner bag up this young man, meaning we had to walk around and scoop up what we could find and put it in the bag with the biggest part of him. By now, Todd is looking rather green and is about to puke, two tables of people had moved, and the other two looked horrified. I then said,"It was either that time or the guy who died in July, but didn't get found until August, no air-conditioning, but the flies and maggots didn't mind. We had that whole dining section to ourselves for the duration of our meal, and anytime we went back Todd never said more than he had to. Fourteen years later and I bet Todd still wouldn't ask about EMS if you were wearing the super-heavy-duty whacker coat from Gall's with your utility belt, rescue boots, and a siren helmet.
 
That is truely EMS humor! ^_^
 
OMG - I am dying laughing... I am here at my stupid desk job trying not to laugh out loud...
 
"My partner and I concluded this to be injuries not compatible with life"

I love that phrase. :D
 
geez im so glad the nursing home runs ive made havent been so horiffic. however i get the willies everytime i walk in there. thats why i could never do hospice work i applaud those who can reverently but that hard stuff.
 
Gets my vote for Best. Post. Ever.
 
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